i wonder why,
everytime when i feel sad
and i want to blog about it
i just couldnt.
is it that my mind and my heart do not connect well
or is it that my command of language is insufficiently capable to convert heart code into a language of words.
i dont even dare to blog where u can see.
because im afraid i might say the wrong things.
im afraid that i say too much that all seem mundane.
basically, im scared of losing you - which i am.
there i go.. saying the wrong things again.
you was never mine?
how could i say that im losing you when i dont have you in the first place.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
a dull speck of starcrumbs
i have been living a no-life's life the past few days.
Waking up everyday and before you know it,
im on the battle screen of some rpg, rts or spraying off enemies in a fps game.
i have to admit. this kind of life was heaven to me.
but maybe i have grown old.. too old to be excited by such
trivial fun. then i thought, everyone wants to have fun.
maybe this is wad causing young people to break up these days.
i dont want to have fun.
i just want to be happy.
and to be happy i guess i have to live a life with meaning.
but life is meaningless to me now.
i do not have big dreams nor ambitions.
i dont need to have the latest accessories or clothing.
i dont need 24 hours of pure computer gaming everyday.
i dont need a big big house or some sports wagon.
i want nothing out of life.
maybe deep down i hope to have a person whom i can spend my life with forever.
maybe what i want is LOVE.
but do love exist anyway?
do anyone value love?
do anyone really know how to love? who to love?
love obviously cannot be obtained just overnight.
i have to wait for the right one to arrive.
maybe she already have.
maybe she will never come.
but right now in my life,
i can only wait for her to come.
.. and before that, life is meaningless.
because she is my meaning in life.
Waking up everyday and before you know it,
im on the battle screen of some rpg, rts or spraying off enemies in a fps game.
i have to admit. this kind of life was heaven to me.
but maybe i have grown old.. too old to be excited by such
trivial fun. then i thought, everyone wants to have fun.
maybe this is wad causing young people to break up these days.
i dont want to have fun.
i just want to be happy.
and to be happy i guess i have to live a life with meaning.
but life is meaningless to me now.
i do not have big dreams nor ambitions.
i dont need to have the latest accessories or clothing.
i dont need 24 hours of pure computer gaming everyday.
i dont need a big big house or some sports wagon.
i want nothing out of life.
maybe deep down i hope to have a person whom i can spend my life with forever.
maybe what i want is LOVE.
but do love exist anyway?
do anyone value love?
do anyone really know how to love? who to love?
love obviously cannot be obtained just overnight.
i have to wait for the right one to arrive.
maybe she already have.
maybe she will never come.
but right now in my life,
i can only wait for her to come.
.. and before that, life is meaningless.
because she is my meaning in life.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
happy birthdae
So finally it ended - the dreaded 'A' Levels has passed.
I guess I have to do some sort of conclusion;
Conclusion on my 14 years of study life.
Conclusion on my teenage life.
I say that the lvls exams i have been thru are quite okay,
except for some disappointments that everyone may have.
Generally i think that general paper sucks(esp for paper 2)
Maths was challenging (to me) and i really hope i can get an A.
Chem was quite a disaster for me.. becos my paper 3 is not v good i guess.
considering also my pathetic spa results which i think i have gotten,
i really really hope its an A too..
Physics was quite alright. But paper 3 was too qualitative to my liking.
Computing was very okay. since most of the questions came from past year.
Wish nth bad happens!
Maths s paper was hmm.. i guess okay. Since i have mixed feelings for it.
On one hand i definitely did way better than prelims (i got 27/100!!!),
on the other hand.. i think i will have a medicore, if not, unimpressive result. Really hope to get merit!
Physics was quite easy.. except for the stupid electricity qns i knew i shldnt have attempted. Hoping for a dist!
Well i guess after we took the paper we can more or less know the results. And we have no need to hide them or run away from them. well.. the actual results come 4 months later. I really hope i will get better than wad i expect!
and.. its 5 mins early.. but..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
My blog is 2 years old!
why do i sound happy when im not? and it often leads to misunderstandings
I guess I have to do some sort of conclusion;
Conclusion on my 14 years of study life.
Conclusion on my teenage life.
I say that the lvls exams i have been thru are quite okay,
except for some disappointments that everyone may have.
Generally i think that general paper sucks(esp for paper 2)
Maths was challenging (to me) and i really hope i can get an A.
Chem was quite a disaster for me.. becos my paper 3 is not v good i guess.
considering also my pathetic spa results which i think i have gotten,
i really really hope its an A too..
Physics was quite alright. But paper 3 was too qualitative to my liking.
Computing was very okay. since most of the questions came from past year.
Wish nth bad happens!
Maths s paper was hmm.. i guess okay. Since i have mixed feelings for it.
On one hand i definitely did way better than prelims (i got 27/100!!!),
on the other hand.. i think i will have a medicore, if not, unimpressive result. Really hope to get merit!
Physics was quite easy.. except for the stupid electricity qns i knew i shldnt have attempted. Hoping for a dist!
Well i guess after we took the paper we can more or less know the results. And we have no need to hide them or run away from them. well.. the actual results come 4 months later. I really hope i will get better than wad i expect!
and.. its 5 mins early.. but..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
My blog is 2 years old!
why do i sound happy when im not? and it often leads to misunderstandings
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
天灰
如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁
Saturday, October 28, 2006
an imminent bye, a permanent sigh..
A lvls is just days away..
Although i think that A lvls are not that important to me (becos i dont intend to take on intensive courses in uni), im feeling abit worried.. who noes why..
but what worries me more is what's after it. NS... i wonder if after the two years i will be the same? i wonder if you will still remember that there is someone like me who long to be by your side.
as exams comes.. i start to play more.. maybe my concentration span is up.. no no no.. i cannot be giving myself excuses! i must continue to study!
(out of sudden, i forgot what i wanted to blog before i wrote these, maybe my mind knows that now is not the time to think about those stuff)
Although i think that A lvls are not that important to me (becos i dont intend to take on intensive courses in uni), im feeling abit worried.. who noes why..
but what worries me more is what's after it. NS... i wonder if after the two years i will be the same? i wonder if you will still remember that there is someone like me who long to be by your side.
as exams comes.. i start to play more.. maybe my concentration span is up.. no no no.. i cannot be giving myself excuses! i must continue to study!
(out of sudden, i forgot what i wanted to blog before i wrote these, maybe my mind knows that now is not the time to think about those stuff)
Friday, October 20, 2006
In these cold nights
haix... the thought of army saddens me.
i need to do alot alot things after A's..
but i have only 1 month now le..
j4n thirteenth.. i received my deathnote on the eve of deathnote's release..
anyway.. past 2 hours have been freecell.. i was stuck on this game #17803 yesterday
i woke up today dreaming of it.. and finally!
I knew i won when i saw this!
i need to do alot alot things after A's..
but i have only 1 month now le..
j4n thirteenth.. i received my deathnote on the eve of deathnote's release..
anyway.. past 2 hours have been freecell.. i was stuck on this game #17803 yesterday
i woke up today dreaming of it.. and finally!
I knew i won when i saw this!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Keane - Hamburg Song
I don't want to be adored
Don't want to be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved
No, don't want to be the only one you know
I want to be the place you call home
I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
I give much more than I'd ever ask for
Will you see me in the end?
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend?
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again
Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple
I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for
Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way
To lay yourself down and make it so?
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for
Don't want to be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved
No, don't want to be the only one you know
I want to be the place you call home
I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
I give much more than I'd ever ask for
Will you see me in the end?
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend?
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again
Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple
I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for
Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way
To lay yourself down and make it so?
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for
Saturday, October 07, 2006
The Way You Look at Me
prelims are long gone.
we have slightly less than 4 weeks left.
But im still stucked.
I have no mood for anything, for games and for study.
My results is half-satisfying with AACD and C6..
guess the gp and maths are slightly if not very disappointing for me.
How can i get a D for maths when im actually maths s paper..
but i can solve harder questions if given the time..
guess i lack exposure and the practice.
a result of not doing tutorials
maybe there will be a change of blog skin..
we have slightly less than 4 weeks left.
But im still stucked.
I have no mood for anything, for games and for study.
My results is half-satisfying with AACD and C6..
guess the gp and maths are slightly if not very disappointing for me.
How can i get a D for maths when im actually maths s paper..
but i can solve harder questions if given the time..
guess i lack exposure and the practice.
a result of not doing tutorials
maybe there will be a change of blog skin..
Thursday, October 05, 2006
neither here nor there
Maybe life is described by this principle?
Completely ridiculous anthropic principle (CRAP): "At the instant the Omega Point is reached, life will have gained control of all matter and forces not only in a single universe, but in all universes whose existence is logically possible; life will have spread into all spatial regions in all universes which could logically exist, and will have stored an infinite amount of information, including all bits of knowledge which it is logically possible to know. And this is the end."
Completely ridiculous anthropic principle (CRAP): "At the instant the Omega Point is reached, life will have gained control of all matter and forces not only in a single universe, but in all universes whose existence is logically possible; life will have spread into all spatial regions in all universes which could logically exist, and will have stored an infinite amount of information, including all bits of knowledge which it is logically possible to know. And this is the end."
Sunday, October 01, 2006
stuck on you
Have you ever felt that you wanted someone to talk to,
but yet knowing that there will not be anyone who truly listens?
Have you ever felt that all of the sudden,
after so much time of fun and laughter,
the place quietens down, almost in a way hopelessly?
Have you felt that all of the sudden everything closes onto you,
when u realise the fact that no one really cares about you except your own self?
Even if there is a person who cares, it must be very fortunate to have,
and very difficult to find?
Have you felt that life is just a journey where you have to walk alone,
that no one really cares where did you go after it ends?
Have you been in a broken family?
Have you been jealous?
Have you been jealous and then given up on the differences,
planning not to do anything about it as it is all fate?
Has fate played you?
Have you asked so many questions knowing that no one can better answer in a way you like it except yourself?
Have you been in love?
Have you thought that the person loved you, only to find out later that it has been all but an unfortunate misunderstanding which only a foolish mind like yours will plunge deep into?
Have you been thinking like me?
Have you been thinking of me..?
but yet knowing that there will not be anyone who truly listens?
Have you ever felt that all of the sudden,
after so much time of fun and laughter,
the place quietens down, almost in a way hopelessly?
Have you felt that all of the sudden everything closes onto you,
when u realise the fact that no one really cares about you except your own self?
Even if there is a person who cares, it must be very fortunate to have,
and very difficult to find?
Have you felt that life is just a journey where you have to walk alone,
that no one really cares where did you go after it ends?
Have you been in a broken family?
Have you been jealous?
Have you been jealous and then given up on the differences,
planning not to do anything about it as it is all fate?
Has fate played you?
Have you asked so many questions knowing that no one can better answer in a way you like it except yourself?
Have you been in love?
Have you thought that the person loved you, only to find out later that it has been all but an unfortunate misunderstanding which only a foolish mind like yours will plunge deep into?
Have you been thinking like me?
Have you been thinking of me..?
Friday, September 29, 2006
chasing cars
I'm afraid that my curiousity would cause me to take on a course of Physics in the new future. A course surely of busyness and loniliness (if i will realise it). But what is loniless but just a series chemical reaction in my body telling me i need (do i?) a company. But of couse the world of future is too uncertain, let alone exploring the future.. that sometimes, regretably due to the chemical reaction's cousins, i find it too much of a bother.
Therefore, I guess i would most likely continue to "live a normal life".
Therefore, I guess i would most likely continue to "live a normal life".
this is taken from Stephen Hawking's web, do read the public lectures if anyone is free! its an incredibly good read!
Since events before the Big Bang have no observational consequences, one may as well cut them out of the theory, and say that time began at the Big Bang. Events before the Big Bang, are simply not defined, because there's no way one could measure what happened at them. This kind of beginning to the universe, and of time itself, is very different to the beginnings that had been considered earlier. These had to be imposed on the universe by some external agency. There is no dynamical reason why the motion of bodies in the solar system can not be extrapolated back in time, far beyond four thousand and four BC, the date for the creation of the universe, according to the book of Genesis. Thus it would require the direct intervention of God, if the universe began at that date. By contrast, the Big Bang is a beginning that is required by the dynamical laws that govern the universe. It is therefore intrinsic to the universe, and is not imposed on it from outside.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
my love.
I know love is with the heart
and shown with action.
I know love is not merely words like
the following:
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
anyway, just to let you know
i really love you.
and shown with action.
I know love is not merely words like
the following:
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
anyway, just to let you know
i really love you.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
and i do question life.
humans are interesting. let alone life.
just only a few decades ago, people do not even have proper clothing or food,
and they worry not about starving or being less nicely attired.
They worry about how are they going to support their family.
Maybe we are too spoilt? We worry about what to eat, even though we already have food. We worry about love, when we cant even afford the Marriage Preparory Programme (it costs money i think?). We worry about what to do in our spare time, how we look in front of the mirror, the clothes we wear, the shampoo we use, the bag we sling, the perfume we carry (perfume!!?!?!?), the movies we watch, the results we get, the course we going to take, the job we pursue, the time we wait.
I guess we worry about the wrong things? What's worrying is why people are worrying.
If life brings you where you go, as if anything is going to change if u worked abit harder, stayed abit longer, write abit faster, walked abit slower, think abit further, born abit earlier, born abit prettier, be abit richer.
Instead, it is all in the mind. You are who you think you are. If you think you are a failure, you are already am. If you think you are a winner, you are. If you can feel happy living with 5 dollars a day, you are. If you think that the results u get is superly fantastic, you will feel happy. Life is much more happier when you think about it happier.
Ask yourself, if you have all that you want to have now, wouldn't you start wanting to have more? Perhaps.. the meaning of life?
just only a few decades ago, people do not even have proper clothing or food,
and they worry not about starving or being less nicely attired.
They worry about how are they going to support their family.
Maybe we are too spoilt? We worry about what to eat, even though we already have food. We worry about love, when we cant even afford the Marriage Preparory Programme (it costs money i think?). We worry about what to do in our spare time, how we look in front of the mirror, the clothes we wear, the shampoo we use, the bag we sling, the perfume we carry (perfume!!?!?!?), the movies we watch, the results we get, the course we going to take, the job we pursue, the time we wait.
I guess we worry about the wrong things? What's worrying is why people are worrying.
If life brings you where you go, as if anything is going to change if u worked abit harder, stayed abit longer, write abit faster, walked abit slower, think abit further, born abit earlier, born abit prettier, be abit richer.
Instead, it is all in the mind. You are who you think you are. If you think you are a failure, you are already am. If you think you are a winner, you are. If you can feel happy living with 5 dollars a day, you are. If you think that the results u get is superly fantastic, you will feel happy. Life is much more happier when you think about it happier.
Ask yourself, if you have all that you want to have now, wouldn't you start wanting to have more? Perhaps.. the meaning of life?
Monday, September 18, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
why do movies make me cry
do you understand how it is like to wake up every morning not knowing what you are living for? Is it to earn money? Is it to achieve your dream of becoming an pop star, or maybe, a scientist, or maybe, the richest guy in the world?
I know what i want. I want a house where i will spend the rest of my life with the woman i love. I want to have kids. To have daughters who look like their mother. To have sons who look like me. I want a nice backyard, where my children can chase after me; and me after our dog. I want to kiss my wife goodnight, every night.
I want a simple, happy and fulfilling life.
And on this lonely night, i wish you goodnight.
I know what i want. I want a house where i will spend the rest of my life with the woman i love. I want to have kids. To have daughters who look like their mother. To have sons who look like me. I want a nice backyard, where my children can chase after me; and me after our dog. I want to kiss my wife goodnight, every night.
I want a simple, happy and fulfilling life.
And on this lonely night, i wish you goodnight.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
谁在用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
一盏离愁孤单伫立在窗口
我在门後假装你人还没走
旧地如重游月圆更寂寞
夜半清醒的烛火不忍苛责我
一壶漂泊浪迹天涯难入喉
你走之後酒暖回忆思念瘦
水向东流时间怎黱偷
花开就一次成熟我却错过
谁在用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
岁月在墙上剥落看见小时候
犹记得那年我们都还很年幼
而如今琴声幽幽我的等候你没听过
谁再用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
枫叶将故事染色结局我看透
篱笆外的古道我牵著你走过
荒烟漫草的年头就连分手都很沉默
我在门後假装你人还没走
旧地如重游月圆更寂寞
夜半清醒的烛火不忍苛责我
一壶漂泊浪迹天涯难入喉
你走之後酒暖回忆思念瘦
水向东流时间怎黱偷
花开就一次成熟我却错过
谁在用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
岁月在墙上剥落看见小时候
犹记得那年我们都还很年幼
而如今琴声幽幽我的等候你没听过
谁再用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
枫叶将故事染色结局我看透
篱笆外的古道我牵著你走过
荒烟漫草的年头就连分手都很沉默
Thursday, August 31, 2006
finally
finally the dreaded -pc compeition is over!
can finally concentrate on my studies!
what's good is that got win some prizes which look cheap at start
imation swivel pro 2 flash drive 2gb - $95 according to sg.hardwarezone.com
s3nnh3is3r mx 9o vc - ??
haix.. i wish they gave me a ip0d nano instead.. or at least an ip0d shuffle..
as u can see i encrpyt alot words.. i scared they track me!
can finally concentrate on my studies!
what's good is that got win some prizes which look cheap at start
imation swivel pro 2 flash drive 2gb - $95 according to sg.hardwarezone.com
s3nnh3is3r mx 9o vc - ??
haix.. i wish they gave me a ip0d nano instead.. or at least an ip0d shuffle..
as u can see i encrpyt alot words.. i scared they track me!
Sunday, August 20, 2006
李圣杰 - 痴心绝对
想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱得太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你作任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱得太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你作任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
Thursday, August 10, 2006
this is
This is what i posted on last year july, but its so good im gonna post it again..
The Colour of Hazel
The things he did and the words he said.
Its all over because of something he read.
Now forever I lost him because I lied.
I wanted to tell the truth and I tried.
I was afraid that I was just a fling.
Now I realize I could have been something.
Maybe we weren't for each other from the start.
All I'm really good for is a broken heart.
He ended it all with barely a goodbye.
We didn't last long, but still I cry.
The only thing left of him is a sad memory.
Those deep caring eyes, I will never again see.
Maybe someday we will again be together.
I hope that then it will last forever...
by Alana Demers
The Colour of Hazel
The things he did and the words he said.
Its all over because of something he read.
Now forever I lost him because I lied.
I wanted to tell the truth and I tried.
I was afraid that I was just a fling.
Now I realize I could have been something.
Maybe we weren't for each other from the start.
All I'm really good for is a broken heart.
He ended it all with barely a goodbye.
We didn't last long, but still I cry.
The only thing left of him is a sad memory.
Those deep caring eyes, I will never again see.
Maybe someday we will again be together.
I hope that then it will last forever...
by Alana Demers
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Love not with
Love not with our tongues but our hearts.
Wait not for love to come today but everyday.
Prove forever not with time but enthusiasm.
Miss you not with months but seconds.
Wait not for love to come today but everyday.
Prove forever not with time but enthusiasm.
Miss you not with months but seconds.
Monday, August 07, 2006
breaking logic 1.
this is start of a very long (i hope) logic decoding/breaking/analysis posts.
first up:
Do we live for someone who died for us, when we should've died in the first place?
Notice we should've died suggests that we have to die, but yet someone sabotaged our duty to do so. So is someone here doing justice? And why do we have to live for someone who messed up our fate and all the great plans, supposing toward the better (if not the best)?
While this sentences itself disguises itself as a rhetorical question, it actually contains some backstabbing (pessimistic view) / intrigueing (optimistic view) ideas.
This has nothing to do with the saviour thing.
Note: There is no error with the distinct word. (grins.. if you can read my mind)
Be prepared for the next series! Such posts are good for mind exercising and it keep brains working fine!
first up:
Do we live for someone who died for us, when we should've died in the first place?
Notice we should've died suggests that we have to die, but yet someone sabotaged our duty to do so. So is someone here doing justice? And why do we have to live for someone who messed up our fate and all the great plans, supposing toward the better (if not the best)?
While this sentences itself disguises itself as a rhetorical question, it actually contains some backstabbing (pessimistic view) / intrigueing (optimistic view) ideas.
This has nothing to do with the saviour thing.
Note: There is no error with the distinct word. (grins.. if you can read my mind)
Be prepared for the next series! Such posts are good for mind exercising and it keep brains working fine!
Friday, August 04, 2006
napfa
Sit-ups: 43 A
Standing-broad jump: 248 B
Sit and reach: 45 B
Chin-ups: 9 B
Shuttle run (4x10m): 9.0s A
2.4 km run: 10:41 B
Score = 26/30
Except for chin-ups which my top was 10 and shuttle run which i didnt break 9, the overall is satisfactory, and in fact the best result since sec 3. haha
finally overcome the pull-up nightmare.
after that was some cg basketball.
it shocks people how time files.
i cant believe i waited for you for 2 years already.
Standing-broad jump: 248 B
Sit and reach: 45 B
Chin-ups: 9 B
Shuttle run (4x10m): 9.0s A
2.4 km run: 10:41 B
Score = 26/30
Except for chin-ups which my top was 10 and shuttle run which i didnt break 9, the overall is satisfactory, and in fact the best result since sec 3. haha
finally overcome the pull-up nightmare.
after that was some cg basketball.
it shocks people how time files.
i cant believe i waited for you for 2 years already.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
WHY?
why did i fall in love with her in the first place?
why do i have to suffer like this?
after 2 years of wait.
after so many endless nights.
i have finally found out
she doesn't remember me.
so in love there will always have a fool,
clinging on to what is called the impossible.
i have imagined too much.
there were too much coincidence.
but now im finally awake.
i had fallen in love with someone who will never love me.
fuck this life.
fuck all these.
fuck myself.
i just need some love in this world.
heaven you dont have to fool me like this.
so im alone all along.
alone.
why do i have to suffer like this?
after 2 years of wait.
after so many endless nights.
i have finally found out
she doesn't remember me.
so in love there will always have a fool,
clinging on to what is called the impossible.
i have imagined too much.
there were too much coincidence.
but now im finally awake.
i had fallen in love with someone who will never love me.
fuck this life.
fuck all these.
fuck myself.
i just need some love in this world.
heaven you dont have to fool me like this.
so im alone all along.
alone.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
The game of life.
I grow up and I'm suddenly eighteen,
and life ahead isn't what I would think.
Education, is it really such a big thing?
Certificates and degrees; sugar and cream?
But sugar and cream only make me fat.
When I'm working I would feel like crap.
Of how I didn't spend myself chasing crabs,
and spend more time in the park taking a nap.
Fame, glory, and power am I looking for that?
It's natural, oh so natural for that.
However, these may all be a trap.
Keeping my life off track.
What do you cherish most I'd ask?
Extra money and recognition may all seem a plus.
But when I lose my loves because of these tasks,
Is it all worth it I ask?
To be continued-
and life ahead isn't what I would think.
Education, is it really such a big thing?
Certificates and degrees; sugar and cream?
But sugar and cream only make me fat.
When I'm working I would feel like crap.
Of how I didn't spend myself chasing crabs,
and spend more time in the park taking a nap.
Fame, glory, and power am I looking for that?
It's natural, oh so natural for that.
However, these may all be a trap.
Keeping my life off track.
What do you cherish most I'd ask?
Extra money and recognition may all seem a plus.
But when I lose my loves because of these tasks,
Is it all worth it I ask?
To be continued-
Monday, July 31, 2006
THIS IS TO REMIND MYSELF
I AM TO..
1) SCORE A FOR CHEMISTRY FOR PRELIMS <- JUST WATCH ME
2) SCORE A FOR PHYSICS FOR PRELIMS
3) SCORE A FOR MATHS FOR PRELIMS <- YOU SAID LIFE IS UNFAIR AS I DID WELL FOR MY MATHS EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT DO TUTORIALS. YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE AND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. NOW IM GONNA GET A TO SHOVE IT TO YOUR FACE
I MUST DO THIS. I MUST STUDY EVERYDAY. ELSE IM NOT FIT TO BE WHO I AM. JUST WATCH ME.
CDE -> AAA IN 1 MONTH.
STARTING TODAY
1) SCORE A FOR CHEMISTRY FOR PRELIMS <- JUST WATCH ME
2) SCORE A FOR PHYSICS FOR PRELIMS
3) SCORE A FOR MATHS FOR PRELIMS <- YOU SAID LIFE IS UNFAIR AS I DID WELL FOR MY MATHS EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT DO TUTORIALS. YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE AND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. NOW IM GONNA GET A TO SHOVE IT TO YOUR FACE
I MUST DO THIS. I MUST STUDY EVERYDAY. ELSE IM NOT FIT TO BE WHO I AM. JUST WATCH ME.
CDE -> AAA IN 1 MONTH.
STARTING TODAY
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
sad
to help those linux fanatics over hpc chill out abit.. i decided to send them songs!
the song is none other than..
wu yue tian's jue jiang! oh noes.. its .wma format lol..
the song is none other than..
wu yue tian's jue jiang! oh noes.. its .wma format lol..
Monday, July 24, 2006
the stars
Look at the stars; look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Have you ever wondered why some things happen their way?
I would ask why did i fall for you.
and why didn't i give up.
Why have i thought you fell for me too.
Why am i born poor.
Why am i born with so much problems.
Why am i here?
Life is unfair. But why must i be the one suffering?
Why did i lose my interest in living.
Why living is more a chore?
Why money makes the world go round.
And why fashion plague the minds of many?
Why religion breaks people and even couples apart,
why religion becomes like designer clothes?
How man do not realise what they are fighting for,
are just empty things?
Suddenly the world darkens for me.
Depressed i have become.
Lonely i am.
Miss you i do.
And everything you do
Have you ever wondered why some things happen their way?
I would ask why did i fall for you.
and why didn't i give up.
Why have i thought you fell for me too.
Why am i born poor.
Why am i born with so much problems.
Why am i here?
Life is unfair. But why must i be the one suffering?
Why did i lose my interest in living.
Why living is more a chore?
Why money makes the world go round.
And why fashion plague the minds of many?
Why religion breaks people and even couples apart,
why religion becomes like designer clothes?
How man do not realise what they are fighting for,
are just empty things?
Suddenly the world darkens for me.
Depressed i have become.
Lonely i am.
Miss you i do.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
you and me
Love longs for someone,
like flowers for spring.
Waiting to blossom,
it creeps in deep into our heart.
Sent the pollen via my card,
who knows why are we still apart?
We are neither here nor there,
to whom can i find my heart to bare?
When im drowning in memories,
who exactly do you miss?
Cheer up, dont weep;
My heart will always be yours to keep.
like flowers for spring.
Waiting to blossom,
it creeps in deep into our heart.
Sent the pollen via my card,
who knows why are we still apart?
We are neither here nor there,
to whom can i find my heart to bare?
When im drowning in memories,
who exactly do you miss?
Cheer up, dont weep;
My heart will always be yours to keep.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Italy ke mak mak!
(photo courtesy of ks)YEsssssss so happpy italy won..
Partly because france won brazil and spain.
Partly because italy let me win 11 bucks =). ty sgpools!
i will never bet again! So you have a net loss!
Partly because italy jersey is nice.
Partly because i just like italy more.
zidane lost his mind.
like me :)
Friday, July 07, 2006
torn
im torn.
im devastated.
why am i feeling this way?
is it because i give all my heart to love?
is it that i should receive love
and give a little of my heart away,
just like people say?
is it true that there is no true love?
if i love a person with all my heart,
wouldn't she be touched?
is it the way i talk
or the way i look?
is it my hairstyle,
is it my low wealth?
is it love?
im devastated.
why am i feeling this way?
is it because i give all my heart to love?
is it that i should receive love
and give a little of my heart away,
just like people say?
is it true that there is no true love?
if i love a person with all my heart,
wouldn't she be touched?
is it the way i talk
or the way i look?
is it my hairstyle,
is it my low wealth?
is it love?
lost
so it's true?
im not the one?
again..?
i hope..
i'll continue hoping..
that one day i'll be the one.
the one you are missing.
the one you love.
one day all these will be true.
im not the one?
again..?
i hope..
i'll continue hoping..
that one day i'll be the one.
the one you are missing.
the one you love.
one day all these will be true.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
what if?
what if im not the one you are missing?
what if im not the one you are loving?
and what if im not the one.
will i be able survive?
what if all these while i was wrong?
what if in the end i'll be alone?
will i still miss you?
will i still love you?
time is running out.
we have alot more obstacles to overcome.
yet we haven't even get past the first one.
are you missing me tonight?
cos i am.
what if im not the one you are loving?
and what if im not the one.
will i be able survive?
what if all these while i was wrong?
what if in the end i'll be alone?
will i still miss you?
will i still love you?
time is running out.
we have alot more obstacles to overcome.
yet we haven't even get past the first one.
are you missing me tonight?
cos i am.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
results results results.
its only tues and i already know 3 results..
B - computing
C - physics
D - maths..
unknown - chem
BCD not bad wad! many people would say..
but im a student attempting 2 S papers.. shouldnt i already secure my 4As already?
Chem ar chem... Although it is nicer to get ABCD, getting A for chem is unrealistic.. so i hope i can get an E... so BCDE nice nice.. omg....... then GP F9???? lol................................
choi man.
im starting to mug NOW.
despite CCA matters, IHPC and computing coursework.
B - computing
C - physics
D - maths..
unknown - chem
BCD not bad wad! many people would say..
but im a student attempting 2 S papers.. shouldnt i already secure my 4As already?
Chem ar chem... Although it is nicer to get ABCD, getting A for chem is unrealistic.. so i hope i can get an E... so BCDE nice nice.. omg....... then GP F9???? lol................................
choi man.
im starting to mug NOW.
despite CCA matters, IHPC and computing coursework.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
寂寞轰炸 - 周传雄
轰炸被寂寞轰炸
把掩护心的围墙震垮啦
就露出心事密密麻麻
说话想找人说话
不在乎笑话废话或傻话
只要别自己一个在家
失望沮丧的失望
热闹并不能让我被解放
酒精也不能让我健忘
喝吧沉默的喝吧
朋友别怪我要讲又没讲
心里太乱会像哑巴
每天这个时候
心都特别寂寞
像孤单单在大海游
不确定方向没错
又不愿掉头
当听谁劝我换个梦来做
总倔强笑着有痛不说
每天这个时候
心都特别寂寞
在窗边吹风泪会流
回想你在的时候
我们多快乐
常常只相望一眼握着手
就觉得胸口暖和(了)
把掩护心的围墙震垮啦
就露出心事密密麻麻
说话想找人说话
不在乎笑话废话或傻话
只要别自己一个在家
失望沮丧的失望
热闹并不能让我被解放
酒精也不能让我健忘
喝吧沉默的喝吧
朋友别怪我要讲又没讲
心里太乱会像哑巴
每天这个时候
心都特别寂寞
像孤单单在大海游
不确定方向没错
又不愿掉头
当听谁劝我换个梦来做
总倔强笑着有痛不说
每天这个时候
心都特别寂寞
在窗边吹风泪会流
回想你在的时候
我们多快乐
常常只相望一眼握着手
就觉得胸口暖和(了)
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Fear F4ctor
i have exactly 12 hours left to my next 2 papers... computing and chem.
i have officially killed myself in my maths and physics common test...
maths nvr do 1 got 27 marks. do wrong 1 shld be ard 20. so i can expect 5x...
which i will surely get killed if my parents see it.
now shld i study computing?
i haf a feeling i chiong computing i still get v lan..
but if i chiong chem i sure get v lan also.
and chem got so much...
hmmm..
perhaps i shld slp first.. lol
i have officially killed myself in my maths and physics common test...
maths nvr do 1 got 27 marks. do wrong 1 shld be ard 20. so i can expect 5x...
which i will surely get killed if my parents see it.
now shld i study computing?
i haf a feeling i chiong computing i still get v lan..
but if i chiong chem i sure get v lan also.
and chem got so much...
hmmm..
perhaps i shld slp first.. lol
Saturday, June 24, 2006
The Amazing Race
I have to finish physics by today!
Can I make it in time?
Electric Field -- done
Capacitors -- done
Current Electricity -- done 3.47pm (pitstop now! 30mins - 1 hour lol)
DC circuits -- done
Magnetic Fields and Electromagnetism -- done 7.57 pm. (wa i slpt 2 hours and played 1 hour)
Electromagnetic Induction -- done
Alternating Current -- done 11.53pm (die le.. play too much.. tmr morning continue ba..)
Analogue Electronics -- done
Ideal Gas -- done
Charged Particle Dynamics -- done
Quantum Physics -- done 7.30pm sunday! omg.. gp how?
there will be no detour!
Can I make it in time?
Electric Field -- done
Capacitors -- done
Current Electricity -- done 3.47pm (pitstop now! 30mins - 1 hour lol)
DC circuits -- done
Magnetic Fields and Electromagnetism -- done 7.57 pm. (wa i slpt 2 hours and played 1 hour)
Electromagnetic Induction -- done
Alternating Current -- done 11.53pm (die le.. play too much.. tmr morning continue ba..)
Analogue Electronics -- done
Ideal Gas -- done
Charged Particle Dynamics -- done
Quantum Physics -- done 7.30pm sunday! omg.. gp how?
there will be no detour!
Friday, June 23, 2006
ahhhhhhhhh
i
am
going
to
fail
my
June
Common
Test
i cantttt concentrate on myy work anymoreeee....
cant study c0mputinggggggggggggggggg
my eye pain!!
ahhhh jiu ming!!
am
going
to
fail
my
June
Common
Test
i cantttt concentrate on myy work anymoreeee....
cant study c0mputinggggggggggggggggg
my eye pain!!
ahhhh jiu ming!!
Friday, June 16, 2006
the most unplanned and rewarding experience..
i just came back from my cca farewell chalet..
only slept for 2 hours (5am - 7am) but i have just bathed
so my hair is wet and therefore i am here.. typing.
first of all. it wasnt anywhere near a farewell.
well think of farewell.. picture it in your minds..
you see people.. many people.. seniors and juniors..
meeting each other for the last time in a cca activity..
but the final result was.. there was only 2 yr1s that came.
those 2 who organised the whole thing despite lack of
help from the other year1s who were put in charge of this as well.
thank you you two..! for at least trying to send us farewell.
and also for your wonderful we duno what thing it is that is so chocolatey
and healthy and your nice nice post cards.
2ndly.. the co@sta s@nds chalet room really sux. spoilt aircon.. untunable and untuned tv. ant stampedes. no xbox. you name it. we've got it. and of cos we dont bother to call since we are only using it for like 2 days 1 nite which is actually 19 hours. by the time they got here, checked and repair i think it will be our 5th night.
thirdly. my senior has just POP'd (not pop! but you know.. passing of parade'd) and he shared very very funny stuff and very informative stuff. since i scared its sensitive i better not type anything. haha. but it is very interesting to have a extremely blur buddy haha.
as you can see.. im like so relaxed. like as if jct is next year.. i still got ihpc compy to do.. haix.
and by the way i wrote this entry you can tell my gp also gone case. intro nvr say wad i wan to say ah.. enumeration of points ar.. and short, undeveloped and unsupported paragraphs/ideas.
hey wait a min.. i have actually revised the basic requirements of an essay this way.. hmm not bad.. shld i blog some alkane allkenes stuff too? lol
only slept for 2 hours (5am - 7am) but i have just bathed
so my hair is wet and therefore i am here.. typing.
first of all. it wasnt anywhere near a farewell.
well think of farewell.. picture it in your minds..
you see people.. many people.. seniors and juniors..
meeting each other for the last time in a cca activity..
but the final result was.. there was only 2 yr1s that came.
those 2 who organised the whole thing despite lack of
help from the other year1s who were put in charge of this as well.
thank you you two..! for at least trying to send us farewell.
and also for your wonderful we duno what thing it is that is so chocolatey
and healthy and your nice nice post cards.
2ndly.. the co@sta s@nds chalet room really sux. spoilt aircon.. untunable and untuned tv. ant stampedes. no xbox. you name it. we've got it. and of cos we dont bother to call since we are only using it for like 2 days 1 nite which is actually 19 hours. by the time they got here, checked and repair i think it will be our 5th night.
thirdly. my senior has just POP'd (not pop! but you know.. passing of parade'd) and he shared very very funny stuff and very informative stuff. since i scared its sensitive i better not type anything. haha. but it is very interesting to have a extremely blur buddy haha.
as you can see.. im like so relaxed. like as if jct is next year.. i still got ihpc compy to do.. haix.
and by the way i wrote this entry you can tell my gp also gone case. intro nvr say wad i wan to say ah.. enumeration of points ar.. and short, undeveloped and unsupported paragraphs/ideas.
hey wait a min.. i have actually revised the basic requirements of an essay this way.. hmm not bad.. shld i blog some alkane allkenes stuff too? lol
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
i dont know why.
why why i have no mood to study?
oh
my
god
pls
tell
me
why..
i just cant put myself in studying mood.
maybe this will do..
CHEM - 2 years of stuff = 3% d0ne
COMPUTING - Almost 2 years of stuff = o% done
Maths - 1 year + of stuff = o% done
Physics - 1 year of stuff. = o% done
please help me!!
omg really gotta start now!
oh
my
god
pls
tell
me
why..
i just cant put myself in studying mood.
maybe this will do..
CHEM - 2 years of stuff = 3% d0ne
COMPUTING - Almost 2 years of stuff = o% done
Maths - 1 year + of stuff = o% done
Physics - 1 year of stuff. = o% done
please help me!!
omg really gotta start now!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
we had chemistry.
if you think im blogging about love this time.. you r wrong!
Chemistry.
Chemistry is a science subject.
Chemistry is a science subject that i failed.
Chemistry is a science subject that i failed like everyone else.
Chemistry is a bloody science subject that i failed miserably like everyone else.
Chemistry is a bloody difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us looks like fools without any clothes in the damn winter.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice and idiots who dont give a damn about their studies.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice and idiots who dont give a damn about their studies and blog whole day.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice and idiots who dont give a damn about their studies and blog whole day waiting for boring people like you to read..
lol.. that was fun.
a nice break from chem.
wait a min.. did i start chem?
Chemistry.
Chemistry is a science subject.
Chemistry is a science subject that i failed.
Chemistry is a science subject that i failed like everyone else.
Chemistry is a bloody science subject that i failed miserably like everyone else.
Chemistry is a bloody difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us looks like fools without any clothes in the damn winter.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice and idiots who dont give a damn about their studies.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice and idiots who dont give a damn about their studies and blog whole day.
Chemistry is a bloody annoying, difficult and nonsensical science subject that i failed so miserably and pathetically like everyone else which makes us look like fools without any clothes in the damn winter licking the cold hard ice and idiots who dont give a damn about their studies and blog whole day waiting for boring people like you to read..
lol.. that was fun.
a nice break from chem.
wait a min.. did i start chem?
N4tional Service.
Hate it or loathe it.
WE (the guys of course) all have to do this. whether you like it or not. unless you are some guy rich enough to fly away~ and never return to singapore. you have to go through it. well you girls might think. what's the big deal? be a man. stop whinning.
we are not whinning because of our (rather the majority) physical being is incapable of doing so. nor are we complaining about the long hours of lifeless life (is there such a thing?) under the hot sun doing some freakish physical training or such stuff. it is the amount of things you will lose out during this time.
yes we should be doing this. we should defend our country.. but not by making us (majority) staying 24 hours during weekdays(of cos for some occasions outfield we should stay overnite for some consec days to train our endurance). how many relationships are broken just because of this ns thing? yes u may argue that if the relationships are strong and really meant to be.. no tides may overturn the boat! but really.. relationships still need maintenance. if some wacko trying to chase ur partner and they are in the same course in uni, well.. goodluck to you. Yes they will have lotsa time together. dont worry! for some 2 years(before we are able to get out of the 'jail' as some call it) !
and no! they wont be together! only if cows fly and pigs have afterburners.
assumption: "the guy is really sweet you know! he seems to understand me very well! And he's older than me by 2 years.. hmm yeah.. i think he's matured and will be you know.. able to take care of me"
not to mention singapore have low fidelity rate. yes i know. as well as fertility. but that doesnt mean they copulate less often. they use rUbBeR~
ahh sian. im whinning again.
all i can do is blame myself for being born quiet and lacking the gift of the gap.
and looks.. well its cant help it. born hideous. what can you do?
well i will be surprised if there is some girl out there who really dont give a dam about looks.
and is single! and takes a liking on me. lol.....?
yeah gibson. dream on.
WE (the guys of course) all have to do this. whether you like it or not. unless you are some guy rich enough to fly away~ and never return to singapore. you have to go through it. well you girls might think. what's the big deal? be a man. stop whinning.
we are not whinning because of our (rather the majority) physical being is incapable of doing so. nor are we complaining about the long hours of lifeless life (is there such a thing?) under the hot sun doing some freakish physical training or such stuff. it is the amount of things you will lose out during this time.
yes we should be doing this. we should defend our country.. but not by making us (majority) staying 24 hours during weekdays(of cos for some occasions outfield we should stay overnite for some consec days to train our endurance). how many relationships are broken just because of this ns thing? yes u may argue that if the relationships are strong and really meant to be.. no tides may overturn the boat! but really.. relationships still need maintenance. if some wacko trying to chase ur partner and they are in the same course in uni, well.. goodluck to you. Yes they will have lotsa time together. dont worry! for some 2 years(before we are able to get out of the 'jail' as some call it) !
and no! they wont be together! only if cows fly and pigs have afterburners.
assumption: "the guy is really sweet you know! he seems to understand me very well! And he's older than me by 2 years.. hmm yeah.. i think he's matured and will be you know.. able to take care of me"
not to mention singapore have low fidelity rate. yes i know. as well as fertility. but that doesnt mean they copulate less often. they use rUbBeR~
ahh sian. im whinning again.
all i can do is blame myself for being born quiet and lacking the gift of the gap.
and looks.. well its cant help it. born hideous. what can you do?
well i will be surprised if there is some girl out there who really dont give a dam about looks.
and is single! and takes a liking on me. lol.....?
yeah gibson. dream on.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
long cold nights.
i dont know if you're feeling this way too..
but do you know the nights are getting longer and colder for me?
everytime i lie down on my bed,
my mind will be filled with you,
and memories of you.
i will remember the days where we were in reach,
the days we shared, though not us alone.
at least i was able to see your face then.
your face which lights up the darkness in my heart.
your face which fills the void in heart.
solitude. all that i have got left now is loneliness.
and its driving me crazy.
driving me thin.
and rotting my mind.
i have distanced from my friends. some of them distanced from me too.
i have said things that annoy.
and some things that are arrogant.
i want to be alone.
i only want you by my side.
i was a confident man.
i was agreeable.
i was.. cheerful.
but now im not.
i began to hate everything and everyone.
my mood becomes uncontrollable at times.
time.
time has a habit of slipping away.
you are always busy.
i guess that you didn't, don't and will not have time for me.
i know that you need someone to be there for you everytime you are feeling stressed.
i dont mind being a person who is needed temporarily by you.
to be discarded by you after that.
like a clothing.
at least a clothing can touch you.
shelter you from dirt, dust and rain.
keep you warm when you're cold.
at least i can be with you.
6 more months and i'll be gone.
i will have to serve ns.
and you will start a new life.
university life.
there where you will most likely find someone you like.
and he will be your shelter, your playmate, your listener
your lover, your life, your everything...
...my dream.
and there will be no more winter for you.
i will be nothing.
a winter clothing.
but do you know the nights are getting longer and colder for me?
everytime i lie down on my bed,
my mind will be filled with you,
and memories of you.
i will remember the days where we were in reach,
the days we shared, though not us alone.
at least i was able to see your face then.
your face which lights up the darkness in my heart.
your face which fills the void in heart.
solitude. all that i have got left now is loneliness.
and its driving me crazy.
driving me thin.
and rotting my mind.
i have distanced from my friends. some of them distanced from me too.
i have said things that annoy.
and some things that are arrogant.
i want to be alone.
i only want you by my side.
i was a confident man.
i was agreeable.
i was.. cheerful.
but now im not.
i began to hate everything and everyone.
my mood becomes uncontrollable at times.
time.
time has a habit of slipping away.
you are always busy.
i guess that you didn't, don't and will not have time for me.
i know that you need someone to be there for you everytime you are feeling stressed.
i dont mind being a person who is needed temporarily by you.
to be discarded by you after that.
like a clothing.
at least a clothing can touch you.
shelter you from dirt, dust and rain.
keep you warm when you're cold.
at least i can be with you.
6 more months and i'll be gone.
i will have to serve ns.
and you will start a new life.
university life.
there where you will most likely find someone you like.
and he will be your shelter, your playmate, your listener
your lover, your life, your everything...
...my dream.
and there will be no more winter for you.
i will be nothing.
a winter clothing.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
sanctuary.
this iwebmusic finally let me register.. so i put this very related song on my blog! lol.
but i will change it soon.. i have nicer songs!
but i will change it soon.. i have nicer songs!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
sorrow.
Fear resides within me
like an unborn chick.
Waiting for the day it becomes a phoenix
the day it spreads its wings,
where they will become the canopy of light.
I am afraid.
Afraid that one day my insanity gains control of my body.
Then no words nor actions can undo the consequences that follow.
I will be a prisoner. Of mankind. Of insanity. Of sorrow.
But what i am already now are the latter two.
I long for the day, the day where the sun's moderate and kind,
the sky is clear and blue, and the clouds are merry.
The day you will look me back in the eye.
The day you will smile at me the way i remembered.
The day you will hug me the same you did in our dreams.
I am afraid.. that something will happen to me or you.. before the day comes.
I wait patiently.. in the background of your resonating light..
.. but im afraid that my resilience to do so is fading away..
like an unborn chick.
Waiting for the day it becomes a phoenix
the day it spreads its wings,
where they will become the canopy of light.
I am afraid.
Afraid that one day my insanity gains control of my body.
Then no words nor actions can undo the consequences that follow.
I will be a prisoner. Of mankind. Of insanity. Of sorrow.
But what i am already now are the latter two.
I long for the day, the day where the sun's moderate and kind,
the sky is clear and blue, and the clouds are merry.
The day you will look me back in the eye.
The day you will smile at me the way i remembered.
The day you will hug me the same you did in our dreams.
I am afraid.. that something will happen to me or you.. before the day comes.
I wait patiently.. in the background of your resonating light..
.. but im afraid that my resilience to do so is fading away..
Sunday, May 28, 2006
a sigh late at night.
its been a long time isnt it?
yet time seems to have passed so quickly,
so mercilessly.
here i am, sitting alone in the night.
my heart is faltering,
weakening each passing day
without you.
ohhhhh does it really has to be like this?
we were both determined in the past,
that we do not need a companion in life.
but when we looked each other in the eyes,
all was gone.
why? why are we then not together now?
what did i do? or rather did not do?
why am i so stubborn? why did i decide to disturb you again?
is it because i thought we still have a chance?
or maybe because im just deceiving myself.
"to us give another chance" only meant
to give me another chance.
a fool's hope.
do all girls like guys who are "cool"?
do they like guys who have stylish bags, shoes and hair?
not forgeting looking a least bit like some korean male star or whatever.
or some guy who talks nonsense (really really nonsensical stuff - not cold jokes) and amuses himself and you?
Or, they must be rich the very least?
if thats true, then i know why i dont see a girl falling for me.
or maybe the reason behind this is that im a psychopath or whatever?
or im a mugger? VOID OF FEELINGS? (if u felt the amount of HATRED i have in the 3 words would u have felt the same?)
or because of the fucking surname i didnt (and cant) choose and happen to have?
just because of my fairly better results?
im not boasting now but i really dont give a dam about tutorials and i have done less than 10% of all tutorials so please dont come talking to me about what a mugger i am.
cos if im a mugger that will make the whole world else mugger elites.
i hate it man. why do i sound like a psychopath?
ever since i fell in love, i become crazier each day.
im afraid someday im gonna lose it.
im afraid someday im going to end my life.
when.. just when will all this pain end?
when will i be able to hold you like how i do
in my dreams?
yet time seems to have passed so quickly,
so mercilessly.
here i am, sitting alone in the night.
my heart is faltering,
weakening each passing day
without you.
ohhhhh does it really has to be like this?
we were both determined in the past,
that we do not need a companion in life.
but when we looked each other in the eyes,
all was gone.
why? why are we then not together now?
what did i do? or rather did not do?
why am i so stubborn? why did i decide to disturb you again?
is it because i thought we still have a chance?
or maybe because im just deceiving myself.
"to us give another chance" only meant
to give me another chance.
a fool's hope.
do all girls like guys who are "cool"?
do they like guys who have stylish bags, shoes and hair?
not forgeting looking a least bit like some korean male star or whatever.
or some guy who talks nonsense (really really nonsensical stuff - not cold jokes) and amuses himself and you?
Or, they must be rich the very least?
if thats true, then i know why i dont see a girl falling for me.
or maybe the reason behind this is that im a psychopath or whatever?
or im a mugger? VOID OF FEELINGS? (if u felt the amount of HATRED i have in the 3 words would u have felt the same?)
or because of the fucking surname i didnt (and cant) choose and happen to have?
just because of my fairly better results?
im not boasting now but i really dont give a dam about tutorials and i have done less than 10% of all tutorials so please dont come talking to me about what a mugger i am.
cos if im a mugger that will make the whole world else mugger elites.
i hate it man. why do i sound like a psychopath?
ever since i fell in love, i become crazier each day.
im afraid someday im gonna lose it.
im afraid someday im going to end my life.
when.. just when will all this pain end?
when will i be able to hold you like how i do
in my dreams?
Friday, May 26, 2006
A Friday in May.
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.
And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.
And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.
So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Easier said than done.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
my humble interpretation of "The Da Vinci Code"
Straits Times gave it 2/5 stars (correct me if im wrong).
I've watched it today and i say that there's no movie as inspiring as this since "The Matrix" trilogy. its not only inspiring, but a genius work. not only the movie. the whole story is. Dan Brown is truly amazing. Enough said, now i shall blog some of my intepretation of the movie/story.
Warning! Spoiler ahead.
The whole story hinges on the question of whether Jesus was divine or was he just an extraordinary man.
The cleverness of the author to make use of the technique of self-questioning (by the lead guy, prof langdon (if i rmb correctly)) in the theatre screen to convince us of the 'messages' he is trying to convey in his book is simply astonishing.
imho, there's no need for much proving. it is because the religion (i wont say which) has a very flawed fundamental notion (please refer to my previous entry).
but anyway, what is interesting and a matter of fact, 'uplifting' to me is the common thought that the author (i suppose he wrote what he thought) and me shares. Be it if Jesus is man or divine, what matters is that the peace/social and moral benefits from belief of an existence of a supreme(good at least). And of course the decision the sole descendent of Jesus(living proof of the mortality of Jesus) had to make. To enlighten the world of the truth, to liberate them from the enslavement from the lies, or to "renew their faith".
just as i thought. should we destroy the force that at least binds the majority of the human race to a certain extent? So long it does no harm. But im sure that the more logically-inclined people would know exactly what to do. I believe in a system beneficial for betterment of humankind, but not the lies.
i guess not many know what the fuck im talking about. some may detest me. some just dont gif a damn lol. my language skills is not good la. just watch the show and maybe you will understand abit(rmb to watch it w/o a biased thought in mind). so long for now.
and btw, the last supper is here.
i give the movie 10 out of 5 stars.
I've watched it today and i say that there's no movie as inspiring as this since "The Matrix" trilogy. its not only inspiring, but a genius work. not only the movie. the whole story is. Dan Brown is truly amazing. Enough said, now i shall blog some of my intepretation of the movie/story.
Warning! Spoiler ahead.
The whole story hinges on the question of whether Jesus was divine or was he just an extraordinary man.
The cleverness of the author to make use of the technique of self-questioning (by the lead guy, prof langdon (if i rmb correctly)) in the theatre screen to convince us of the 'messages' he is trying to convey in his book is simply astonishing.
imho, there's no need for much proving. it is because the religion (i wont say which) has a very flawed fundamental notion (please refer to my previous entry).
but anyway, what is interesting and a matter of fact, 'uplifting' to me is the common thought that the author (i suppose he wrote what he thought) and me shares. Be it if Jesus is man or divine, what matters is that the peace/social and moral benefits from belief of an existence of a supreme(good at least). And of course the decision the sole descendent of Jesus(living proof of the mortality of Jesus) had to make. To enlighten the world of the truth, to liberate them from the enslavement from the lies, or to "renew their faith".
just as i thought. should we destroy the force that at least binds the majority of the human race to a certain extent? So long it does no harm. But im sure that the more logically-inclined people would know exactly what to do. I believe in a system beneficial for betterment of humankind, but not the lies.
i guess not many know what the fuck im talking about. some may detest me. some just dont gif a damn lol. my language skills is not good la. just watch the show and maybe you will understand abit(rmb to watch it w/o a biased thought in mind). so long for now.
and btw, the last supper is here.
_-_The_Last_Supper_(1495-1498).jpg){kind=link}
i give the movie 10 out of 5 stars.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Where'd you go?
this song pwn nuts man. mike shinoda forever!
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Friday, May 12, 2006
just thought i needed to blog too
take my hand, take my whole life too.
for i cant help, falling in love with you..
im bored at home.
but i need a break like this from this hectic study life.
no more games to play.. warcraft standard game/dota is just sian.
dling music to listen just got sianner too.
and i hate to think about love.
because it just makes me so sad.
so maybe i'll talk abit philosophy then.
why must people be so cynical about others..?
what's there's to lose if you believe them?
since if we think that money is not important,
why are people so afraid to lose a little of them,
if we really had to?
so what is important? you family?
so-called friends? power?
reputation? being hip?
sorry man. my family is not much a sanctuary.
getting some fucking money for class fund or
buying notes is like borrowing few million dollars
to buy something useless. so i just cant imagine
family to be important.
friends? if you can really find a true friend. good for you.
but if your friend is just like a fucker like everyone else,
i bet you wouldn't mind,
taking the fact that you are most likely one too.
power and reputation? lol i dont think i need to say anything about these.
unless you are that shallow and sadistic.
Im hip. so are you. ok we are all hip. done.
im like a curious new born. seeking answers that are already right in front of our eyes.
life's an illusion. we are just mammals with that extra boredomness and stupidity.
for i cant help, falling in love with you..
im bored at home.
but i need a break like this from this hectic study life.
no more games to play.. warcraft standard game/dota is just sian.
dling music to listen just got sianner too.
and i hate to think about love.
because it just makes me so sad.
so maybe i'll talk abit philosophy then.
why must people be so cynical about others..?
what's there's to lose if you believe them?
since if we think that money is not important,
why are people so afraid to lose a little of them,
if we really had to?
so what is important? you family?
so-called friends? power?
reputation? being hip?
sorry man. my family is not much a sanctuary.
getting some fucking money for class fund or
buying notes is like borrowing few million dollars
to buy something useless. so i just cant imagine
family to be important.
friends? if you can really find a true friend. good for you.
but if your friend is just like a fucker like everyone else,
i bet you wouldn't mind,
taking the fact that you are most likely one too.
power and reputation? lol i dont think i need to say anything about these.
unless you are that shallow and sadistic.
Im hip. so are you. ok we are all hip. done.
im like a curious new born. seeking answers that are already right in front of our eyes.
life's an illusion. we are just mammals with that extra boredomness and stupidity.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
just thought i need to blog.
without you, im left with silly questions like what is the purpose of having to go through this thing called life.
i was, once, looking for the meaning of my existance, until i found you.
i know all these sound corny and doubtful but whatever the case i just feel like saying what i feel today.
my results arent going up.. and there are people doing quite well with some hardwork put in.. maybe i should get my ass moving as well?
but i hate to work.
especially when studying is concerned.
i was, once, looking for the meaning of my existance, until i found you.
i know all these sound corny and doubtful but whatever the case i just feel like saying what i feel today.
my results arent going up.. and there are people doing quite well with some hardwork put in.. maybe i should get my ass moving as well?
but i hate to work.
especially when studying is concerned.
Monday, May 01, 2006
im anti-chxxxt and i know it.
this is the best read i have done so far this week
http://www.truthbeknown.com/bible.htm
and the last paragraph is exactly what i have been telling my friends about.
christiananswers.net - "One final evidence that the Bible is true is found in the testimony of those who have believed it. Multitudes of people, past and present, have found from personal experience that its promises are true, its counsel is sound, its commands and restrictions are wise, and its wonderful message of salvation meets every need for both time and eternity."
TBK - ""Multitudes of people...have found...that its promises are true?" A heck of a lot more have found tremendous disappointment when prayers haven't been answered and Jesus hasn't arrived riding on a white horse. "Jesus" said, "Soon I will return." After 2,000 years, believers still wait and pray and are disappointed. Fortunately, there is a general moral thread that runs throughout the mess that has passed for humanity. No book about life could avoid including it. And its "wonderful message of salvation" is only wonderful if one is lost in the first place. Without the original sin and fall of mankind, there would be no need for saving. Again, why did the "perfect" God make such an imperfect creature in the first place that he would need to save it? Is this some sadistic cat-and-mouse game? The people who are finding solace in the pages of the Bible have been crippled by it in the first place. They are not told they are divine incarnations but horrible sinners, pathetic wretches in the eyes of a glorious God. The Judeo-Christian ideology creates the schism between human beings and God in the first place by utterly separating God out of creation. It then promises that it holds the keys to reuniting man with God. It's an extortion racket."
http://www.truthbeknown.com/bible.htm
and the last paragraph is exactly what i have been telling my friends about.
christiananswers.net - "One final evidence that the Bible is true is found in the testimony of those who have believed it. Multitudes of people, past and present, have found from personal experience that its promises are true, its counsel is sound, its commands and restrictions are wise, and its wonderful message of salvation meets every need for both time and eternity."
TBK - ""Multitudes of people...have found...that its promises are true?" A heck of a lot more have found tremendous disappointment when prayers haven't been answered and Jesus hasn't arrived riding on a white horse. "Jesus" said, "Soon I will return." After 2,000 years, believers still wait and pray and are disappointed. Fortunately, there is a general moral thread that runs throughout the mess that has passed for humanity. No book about life could avoid including it. And its "wonderful message of salvation" is only wonderful if one is lost in the first place. Without the original sin and fall of mankind, there would be no need for saving. Again, why did the "perfect" God make such an imperfect creature in the first place that he would need to save it? Is this some sadistic cat-and-mouse game? The people who are finding solace in the pages of the Bible have been crippled by it in the first place. They are not told they are divine incarnations but horrible sinners, pathetic wretches in the eyes of a glorious God. The Judeo-Christian ideology creates the schism between human beings and God in the first place by utterly separating God out of creation. It then promises that it holds the keys to reuniting man with God. It's an extortion racket."
Friday, April 28, 2006
im losing it.
im really losing it. im going to burst. emotions are ruling over my head.. i cant control myself anymore. im afraid im going to say something im going to regret.
im became very afraid since i knew you.
i wish life is a better journey. i cant think anymore.
the number of hypocites i see in my life is of e^(e^(e^(e^t))) where t = time.
i really cant stand this world anymore.
i really cant.
just think primary school days.
cant think anymore....
im became very afraid since i knew you.
i wish life is a better journey. i cant think anymore.
the number of hypocites i see in my life is of e^(e^(e^(e^t))) where t = time.
i really cant stand this world anymore.
i really cant.
just think primary school days.
cant think anymore....
Friday, April 21, 2006
goodbye to this sh**** odjaklgjd
it's fate. no one can change it.
mine it ends this very moment.
dont you all ever feel guilty. i chose this path myself.
mine it ends this very moment.
dont you all ever feel guilty. i chose this path myself.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
A Rush Of Blood To The Head
He said I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down
I'm gonna put it six feet underground
He said "I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls
Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
Do back the things it did to you in return
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah...
He said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh and I'm gonna buy this place that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace.
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
Start as you mean to go on
He said "I'm gonna buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside my baby, watch the orange glow
Some will laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why
So I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm gonna buy this place that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Oh to the head
Honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace.
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on
So meet me by the bridge,
Oh meet me by the lane
When am I going to see
That pretty face again
Meet me on the road
Meet me where I said
Blame it all upon
A rush of blood to the head
I'm gonna put it six feet underground
He said "I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls
Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
Do back the things it did to you in return
Ah ah ah, ah ah ah...
He said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh and I'm gonna buy this place that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace.
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
Start as you mean to go on
He said "I'm gonna buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside my baby, watch the orange glow
Some will laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why
So I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm gonna buy this place that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Oh to the head
Honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace.
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on
So meet me by the bridge,
Oh meet me by the lane
When am I going to see
That pretty face again
Meet me on the road
Meet me where I said
Blame it all upon
A rush of blood to the head
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
"The Lord of the Fools: Return of the Stupid"
".. obviously an intelligent student .." - GP
"An A+ student." - Maths
".. has good knowledge of the subject." - Computing
".. very quiet in class." - Physics
".. consistent worker .. capable of producing quality work .. self-disciplined." - Chemistry
This is not the everyday movie you see! It is the convergence of the finest skills and arts.
.. crap.
Okay so I am so pro that GP tutor can even tell how smart I am (which i think im not. there are many others whom is definitely smarter than me) from the mere scribblings on my foolscap paper.
Maths tutor assume i do all my tutorials (which i never once did even one tutorial ever since i entered jc). lol. all i do is play computer games whole day and lamenting on the failure of my love life(aka my life).
And i got a crappy AACO. Stupid chemistry.. got 34 marks.. now O. Means i qualify for an Ordinary GCE level pass. what crap.
my physics got C.. which i dam bu shuang.. somemore percentile so low.. wtf la.
I gotta work hard.
Got 29/40 for my last physics test which i took YESTERDAY. lol teacher mark dam fast.
Im quite pleased with the results.. even though the data analysis question i tyco dao siao..
13/20.. where i should be getting like 5. lol.. crap works sometimes.
maths got 72.. which is 4 marks improvement.. but test is not reliable 1.. i only hope i can get near 80 for my jct... so as to get an A..
My s papers leh.. physics still coping ok.. but the new laws such as Mallu's law which is very alien to me and techniques such as phasor diagram is kinda alien too. never use b4.
maths s i am just like a spectator. the vectors is worse.. i nvr revise dont know the basics, let alone s paper stuff.
GP got 46. dam sian. my compo 26.5 which is vv high in my class le
then my compre 1 is 19 1 is 12.. lol.. thats why 46.
the 12 one my content got 4 language 8.. lol if i spend my time carefully doing a few qns i could have gotten more than 4 marks.. funny sia.
wanted to type the whole comments out but i lazy liao. scanner spoilt long ago also. so there, no full comments.
i just hope i can get at least AAAB or AABB for my jct. chem must jia you for next week's full organic chem test.
"An A+ student." - Maths
".. has good knowledge of the subject." - Computing
".. very quiet in class." - Physics
".. consistent worker .. capable of producing quality work .. self-disciplined." - Chemistry
This is not the everyday movie you see! It is the convergence of the finest skills and arts.
.. crap.
Okay so I am so pro that GP tutor can even tell how smart I am (which i think im not. there are many others whom is definitely smarter than me) from the mere scribblings on my foolscap paper.
Maths tutor assume i do all my tutorials (which i never once did even one tutorial ever since i entered jc). lol. all i do is play computer games whole day and lamenting on the failure of my love life(aka my life).
And i got a crappy AACO. Stupid chemistry.. got 34 marks.. now O. Means i qualify for an Ordinary GCE level pass. what crap.
my physics got C.. which i dam bu shuang.. somemore percentile so low.. wtf la.
I gotta work hard.
Got 29/40 for my last physics test which i took YESTERDAY. lol teacher mark dam fast.
Im quite pleased with the results.. even though the data analysis question i tyco dao siao..
13/20.. where i should be getting like 5. lol.. crap works sometimes.
maths got 72.. which is 4 marks improvement.. but test is not reliable 1.. i only hope i can get near 80 for my jct... so as to get an A..
My s papers leh.. physics still coping ok.. but the new laws such as Mallu's law which is very alien to me and techniques such as phasor diagram is kinda alien too. never use b4.
maths s i am just like a spectator. the vectors is worse.. i nvr revise dont know the basics, let alone s paper stuff.
GP got 46. dam sian. my compo 26.5 which is vv high in my class le
then my compre 1 is 19 1 is 12.. lol.. thats why 46.
the 12 one my content got 4 language 8.. lol if i spend my time carefully doing a few qns i could have gotten more than 4 marks.. funny sia.
wanted to type the whole comments out but i lazy liao. scanner spoilt long ago also. so there, no full comments.
i just hope i can get at least AAAB or AABB for my jct. chem must jia you for next week's full organic chem test.
[Updated] By demand of the great Q*
"Gibson is obviously an intelligent student who can absorb ideas as well as think. He can do better by learning to focus on the question, instead of going off at a tangent. This is a skill which he has yet to acquire and which is not beyond his reach" - Mdm Lim, GP tutor
"An intelligent student with a high aptitude for math and sciences. Unassuming and keen to improve himself, he pays close attention to the tutor during lessons to ensure he has understood and clarified every bit of concept. An A+ student." - Mr Cute Wong, Maths tutor
"Gibson has good knowledge of the subject. Has the capability to do well. Needs to remain focused." - Mr Kao, Computing tutor
"Gibson is very quiet in class. He is able to work and study on his own. However, it would be good for him to ask questions at times to deepen his understanding on ths(typo) subject." -Mrs Loo, Physics tutor
"Gibson is a consistent worker who is capable of producing quality work. He is an independent learner and seldom needs assistance to clarify his doubts. He is self-disciplined and is able to strike a balance between his PDP and school work. While he is attentive during lessons, he tends to remain silent and seldom contribute his answers for further discussions. He can ask questions more often to check his understanding of his concepts."
Subj Marks Grade Percentile
GP 46 C6 29
Maths 72 A 92
Comp 83 A N/A
Physics 59 C 73
Chem 34 O 60
My comments:
GP- Lol.. i thought going off at normal is worse? check ur absolute word obviously lol
Math- u assume too much lol..
Comp- focus on?
physics- i concur..
chem- u stalk me meh.. how u know what i do in pdp.. lol.. yeah and im a consistent worker. you mean i get O, 34 marks all the time? lol
"An intelligent student with a high aptitude for math and sciences. Unassuming and keen to improve himself, he pays close attention to the tutor during lessons to ensure he has understood and clarified every bit of concept. An A+ student." - Mr Cute Wong, Maths tutor
"Gibson has good knowledge of the subject. Has the capability to do well. Needs to remain focused." - Mr Kao, Computing tutor
"Gibson is very quiet in class. He is able to work and study on his own. However, it would be good for him to ask questions at times to deepen his understanding on ths(typo) subject." -Mrs Loo, Physics tutor
"Gibson is a consistent worker who is capable of producing quality work. He is an independent learner and seldom needs assistance to clarify his doubts. He is self-disciplined and is able to strike a balance between his PDP and school work. While he is attentive during lessons, he tends to remain silent and seldom contribute his answers for further discussions. He can ask questions more often to check his understanding of his concepts."
Subj Marks Grade Percentile
GP 46 C6 29
Maths 72 A 92
Comp 83 A N/A
Physics 59 C 73
Chem 34 O 60
My comments:
GP- Lol.. i thought going off at normal is worse? check ur absolute word obviously lol
Math- u assume too much lol..
Comp- focus on?
physics- i concur..
chem- u stalk me meh.. how u know what i do in pdp.. lol.. yeah and im a consistent worker. you mean i get O, 34 marks all the time? lol
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou, Juliet?
For this cruel fate i protest, which i have done nothing wrong, only less.
Why would star-crossed lovers be destined to part?
Why my love thou would never devise,
perhaps until the day death sets us apart?
Why would star-crossed lovers be destined to part?
Why my love thou would never devise,
perhaps until the day death sets us apart?
Saturday, April 01, 2006
is the end coming again?
I CANT BELIEVE IT. I AM LOSING MEMORIES OF YOU.
Is this a sign? that we are fated to leave each other.
the brochure with you inside together with the ticket.. has been THROWN AWAY.
I dont blame my mother.. but im just very very sad about it.
then there was 3 days ago my father suddenly came back with a new phone.
he said he 'upgraded my plan' (obviously upgraded my plan to buy his new 3G fone at a cheaper rate..) then i have to use this new damn sim card. and so the only wonderful memories that we share, the smses, are left behind in the old sim card, which cannot be used anymore except to view the smses..
im losing you fast.. too fast..
i need you
please come back to me..
Is this a sign? that we are fated to leave each other.
the brochure with you inside together with the ticket.. has been THROWN AWAY.
I dont blame my mother.. but im just very very sad about it.
then there was 3 days ago my father suddenly came back with a new phone.
he said he 'upgraded my plan' (obviously upgraded my plan to buy his new 3G fone at a cheaper rate..) then i have to use this new damn sim card. and so the only wonderful memories that we share, the smses, are left behind in the old sim card, which cannot be used anymore except to view the smses..
im losing you fast.. too fast..
i need you
please come back to me..
Thursday, March 30, 2006
my life big joke.
i hate it man. We even visit the same site at the same time. And yet all these you will never know.
Heaven's making fun of me.
Heaven's making fun of me.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Maroon 5: This love
This love has taken its toll on me, she said goodbye too many times before..
and yes she is leaving again. Even though im not even sure that im that person you are referring to(yes, once again), you are again doing such things to me. How unfair.
Can't you love me like how you love that person. You don't need to care about anything. You would just wish to be with him. But when you said you love me, it's never the same. And that you always have to leave at the end.
Maybe I don't know how to love a woman. Maybe im not who you are looking for. Handsome linguistic man, equipped with latest fashion.
I really tried very very hard to give you everything. Every night since 2 years ago i have been thinking of you. I wonder how are you doing, I wonder when would you be a part of my life. All these looked so impossible as time passes.. as you start to forget me.
If there is no such thing as the law, and if i know that you have the slightest feeling for me, i would have ran to you. I would have grabbed you, never let you go. But once again i thought of your feelings. What if you dont like me at all? What if my these actions would only make things worse. So many what ifs. IF i was to be rational all these while, i would have listened to you, when you said you never loved me and all the while you treated me like a friend, when you asked me to look for a better girl..
All these while had made me realise that love is about you. And not me. If i had cared for myself, i think i would have given you up the day you said you love me never. I just want to be there when you need me. When the world turns against you, when you feel lost. When you just needed a person to lie on and cry.
Can't love be simpler? Can we stop complicating things now? I only wish to be by your side. I have once dreamt of us in the evergreen pastures, gazing stars at night, watching sunrises on the hilltop with you lying on my shoulder, flying kites in the day, and of course the sunsets.
But you are leaving now, never to return to me. Again. Who should i believe now? You who said you never loved me. Or you who said you missed me.. But everything's too late now. It doesnt matter anymore. You're leaving. I'm dying.
and yes she is leaving again. Even though im not even sure that im that person you are referring to(yes, once again), you are again doing such things to me. How unfair.
Can't you love me like how you love that person. You don't need to care about anything. You would just wish to be with him. But when you said you love me, it's never the same. And that you always have to leave at the end.
Maybe I don't know how to love a woman. Maybe im not who you are looking for. Handsome linguistic man, equipped with latest fashion.
I really tried very very hard to give you everything. Every night since 2 years ago i have been thinking of you. I wonder how are you doing, I wonder when would you be a part of my life. All these looked so impossible as time passes.. as you start to forget me.
If there is no such thing as the law, and if i know that you have the slightest feeling for me, i would have ran to you. I would have grabbed you, never let you go. But once again i thought of your feelings. What if you dont like me at all? What if my these actions would only make things worse. So many what ifs. IF i was to be rational all these while, i would have listened to you, when you said you never loved me and all the while you treated me like a friend, when you asked me to look for a better girl..
All these while had made me realise that love is about you. And not me. If i had cared for myself, i think i would have given you up the day you said you love me never. I just want to be there when you need me. When the world turns against you, when you feel lost. When you just needed a person to lie on and cry.
Can't love be simpler? Can we stop complicating things now? I only wish to be by your side. I have once dreamt of us in the evergreen pastures, gazing stars at night, watching sunrises on the hilltop with you lying on my shoulder, flying kites in the day, and of course the sunsets.
But you are leaving now, never to return to me. Again. Who should i believe now? You who said you never loved me. Or you who said you missed me.. But everything's too late now. It doesnt matter anymore. You're leaving. I'm dying.
Monday, March 20, 2006
New timetable hurray!
When our VP said during last 2 weeks that the order of the periods will be the same, but the periods will be shortened to 55 mins from an hour, my class is like wt*? This is because the AO chinese students have already got back their results and all have already withdrawn from the subject, resulting in the very large number of empty periods in our timetable.. just imagine a period is 1 hour.
But today was a surprise to us. The timetable has been amended! Yay!! Wooooo-hoo! After much calculations i found out that the new timetable saved me a whooping 295 mins. A total of 4 hours and 55 freaking minutes!!! That's like enough for me to complete 9 DOTA games or 15 standard Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne 1 vs 1 games. omfg..............
just compare this new one with this old one!!!
wooohoooooooooo Mrs Pang roCks!
Today maths s paper i thought i will be receiving messages such as "sorry you are unsuitable to take maths s paper" or "you should take the time to focus more on your core subjects" but in the end the lecturer said that our own tutors would have marked it and are returning to us as soon as possible.. my maths period is tmr... stressedddd. he also added that if we score above 30% of the total marks which is 21/64, we can try to continue s paper. i think i will get 20s, P(X <25>20) = 0.65 !! if not 10s le.. then hope to appeal.. may the force be with me...
But today was a surprise to us. The timetable has been amended! Yay!! Wooooo-hoo! After much calculations i found out that the new timetable saved me a whooping 295 mins. A total of 4 hours and 55 freaking minutes!!! That's like enough for me to complete 9 DOTA games or 15 standard Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne 1 vs 1 games. omfg..............
just compare this new one with this old one!!!
wooohoooooooooo Mrs Pang roCks!
Today maths s paper i thought i will be receiving messages such as "sorry you are unsuitable to take maths s paper" or "you should take the time to focus more on your core subjects" but in the end the lecturer said that our own tutors would have marked it and are returning to us as soon as possible.. my maths period is tmr... stressedddd. he also added that if we score above 30% of the total marks which is 21/64, we can try to continue s paper. i think i will get 20s, P(X <25>20) = 0.65 !! if not 10s le.. then hope to appeal.. may the force be with me...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Ramblings from a lovelorn man.
Bereft man i am. No doubt.
How unfair it is that it's a sin for a man to cry.
And yet, in the society today,
it is uncommon to find a loving man unhurt
from the cruelty of women.
Maybe love got into me so much that i have
turned into a madman.
For many years I have been searching for
something worth living for.
I found love.
But it is love now that's making me so depressed!
What perfect irony.
Something that is so beautiful. So Magnificant.
Yet deadly. Entangling.
A double-edged sword for one who do not
know how to manage it.
A amazing thing called love.
That i so yearn for,
from the very woman i love.
How unfair it is that it's a sin for a man to cry.
And yet, in the society today,
it is uncommon to find a loving man unhurt
from the cruelty of women.
Maybe love got into me so much that i have
turned into a madman.
For many years I have been searching for
something worth living for.
I found love.
But it is love now that's making me so depressed!
What perfect irony.
Something that is so beautiful. So Magnificant.
Yet deadly. Entangling.
A double-edged sword for one who do not
know how to manage it.
A amazing thing called love.
That i so yearn for,
from the very woman i love.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Brightsparks scholarship preparatory workshop. Not?
Well i think this workshop worked just right for me. I've got all that i need to know in just the first 5 mins of the workshop. "If you are looking for high salaries, or wish to set up your own companies, then scholarships are not good for you.". "You can earn higher salaries when you got a good degree with good results and then work in a world class company."
In other words, i could walk out of the workshop right after they say this!
Not that im exactly money minded. Yes, work for passion not for money. Yes, life is not about earning money. I concur. And actually support this notion! Therefore, i intend to get the highest paying job (or at least above 'above average') so that i wont have to work for the money that are neccessary in life. Like money for housing property, family uses, wife:), children and maybe a car. Imagine i can earn all these 3 or 4 times an average person can. I can then retire early, or start enjoying luxury life from a young age. Of course i take into consideration working hours and also working environment. I aint no want overseas job(unless they sponsor sonic planes so i can get home by 7) and super long and 24/7 working hours like Doctors.
But i face a problem. I was classified Investigator. Aka "the Thinker". I'm inquisitive, scientific, observant, logical, curious and indenpendent. Im a f***ing nerd! Me aint no entreprenueristic hood yo. Aint no cool. Aint no mama's cookies. I can set up a hotel branch and would end up me living on the trees yo(ok cold joke in case you never got it). So there ain not big money and gold bling blings for meh yo.
But then again i hate studying. so ain no world class companies and kick ass jobs. sigh...
In other words, i could walk out of the workshop right after they say this!
Not that im exactly money minded. Yes, work for passion not for money. Yes, life is not about earning money. I concur. And actually support this notion! Therefore, i intend to get the highest paying job (or at least above 'above average') so that i wont have to work for the money that are neccessary in life. Like money for housing property, family uses, wife:), children and maybe a car. Imagine i can earn all these 3 or 4 times an average person can. I can then retire early, or start enjoying luxury life from a young age. Of course i take into consideration working hours and also working environment. I aint no want overseas job(unless they sponsor sonic planes so i can get home by 7) and super long and 24/7 working hours like Doctors.
But i face a problem. I was classified Investigator. Aka "the Thinker". I'm inquisitive, scientific, observant, logical, curious and indenpendent. Im a f***ing nerd! Me aint no entreprenueristic hood yo. Aint no cool. Aint no mama's cookies. I can set up a hotel branch and would end up me living on the trees yo(ok cold joke in case you never got it). So there ain not big money and gold bling blings for meh yo.
But then again i hate studying. so ain no world class companies and kick ass jobs. sigh...
Brand new look.
A brand new look for my blog. More cheerful setting i would say. No, not that i have finally got back love. It's just a sudden urge. To make life better. Sort of a like automated mechanism inside every living organism. Clogging and self-repair of wounds.
But the wound would never heal completely. Even if it really would, the scar of that remains will be like the trigger of the gun pointing towards my own head.
But in this lonely world. I shall pursue the lonely lane. One of which few would venture in this materistic and degenerate world. I shall persist on. Fulfilling my promise of forever love. A long road ahead. To the end of time.
But the wound would never heal completely. Even if it really would, the scar of that remains will be like the trigger of the gun pointing towards my own head.
But in this lonely world. I shall pursue the lonely lane. One of which few would venture in this materistic and degenerate world. I shall persist on. Fulfilling my promise of forever love. A long road ahead. To the end of time.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
末日之恋 - 张智成
剩下没多少时间
让我再唱一首歌给你
一过了今夜世界就毁灭
我想我还有一天
可以学会如何来爱你
在来不及以前渴望来得及
闭上眼睛忍住泪别哭泣
末日前夕请留在我怀里
看太阳暗去月光失明
我只想牵你的指尖绕地球最后一圈
黑夜降临别害怕我爱你
末日前夕请留在我怀里
我在这世界最眷恋的事情
就是曾拥抱你
多想永远拥抱你
我感受到什么在剧烈颤抖
是天空或者你的手
别让任何事情打断我看着你
最后一次看着你
再一次拥有 - 龚诗嘉
我想念去年的冬天
下着雪的那一夜
你给的温柔
紧握的双手
温暖整个寒冬
失去了曾经的拥有
在你离开以后
带走了笑容
只留下寂寞
忘了幸福是什么
没有你的夜特别的漆黑
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜谁在你身边
代替了那个从前
能不能再听一次你说爱我
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔
能不能让我再一次拥有
曾属于我的温柔
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
time lag.
it's valentine's day today. im back to one year ago.
at the promised somewhere stands me. we could have been there together last year, and even this year.
i waited. waited for your shadow. be it if you were to pass by coincidently, i would be utmost contented. there i finished my food. thought of what we could be by now. thought of what we could be in the future. like a fantasing kid. but i dont want it to be a fantasy. i want it to be real. but time crept slowly, together with my hope.
a wasted trip people might say. but i think it was a rewarding trip. i was able to seclude myself from my daily work, and friends. spending the important 1 hour, hoping for a miracle. i asked you out a year ago, but ended up rejected. this year i didnt ask you out, and i waited for you there. isnt it funny?
a few more days before my last attempt and my life hinges on it.
at the promised somewhere stands me. we could have been there together last year, and even this year.
i waited. waited for your shadow. be it if you were to pass by coincidently, i would be utmost contented. there i finished my food. thought of what we could be by now. thought of what we could be in the future. like a fantasing kid. but i dont want it to be a fantasy. i want it to be real. but time crept slowly, together with my hope.
a wasted trip people might say. but i think it was a rewarding trip. i was able to seclude myself from my daily work, and friends. spending the important 1 hour, hoping for a miracle. i asked you out a year ago, but ended up rejected. this year i didnt ask you out, and i waited for you there. isnt it funny?
a few more days before my last attempt and my life hinges on it.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Coldplay - Clocks
Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead (singing)
Come out of things unsaid, shoot an apple of my head (and a)
Trouble that can't be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)
You are, you are
Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)
You are [6x]
And nothing else compares
Oh no nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
You are [continues in background]
Home, home, where I wanted to go [4x]
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead (singing)
Come out of things unsaid, shoot an apple of my head (and a)
Trouble that can't be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)
You are, you are
Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)
You are [6x]
And nothing else compares
Oh no nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
You are [continues in background]
Home, home, where I wanted to go [4x]
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
back.
old songs are playing back,
together with those sad memories.
once again my heart shatters, amidst the already broken red shards.
heart, once hardened becomes more brittle than before.
will i ever get over this crisis?
i never believed that you dont love me.
and i am going to ask you again.
will i have the truth slapped in my face again?
that horrible truth that may most probably
end my miserable life.
why would i die because of a woman?
because i am me..
together with those sad memories.
once again my heart shatters, amidst the already broken red shards.
heart, once hardened becomes more brittle than before.
will i ever get over this crisis?
i never believed that you dont love me.
and i am going to ask you again.
will i have the truth slapped in my face again?
that horrible truth that may most probably
end my miserable life.
why would i die because of a woman?
because i am me..
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Been long.
I miss you alot.
Most of the time I would uncontrollably mouth your name.
Your name it has not found a place in my voice.
I'm too scared. You denied me so many times.
Perhaps I'm born to be strong, but you cant doubt the pain I'm undergoing.
Sometimes I wonder why do i still cling on to you,
like a irritating pest. Maybe my love for you is too deep.
Too too deep. For my own good. It's like my purpose in life is to
make a happier you. Sometimes I think I can be happy just by seeing you happy.
But now I'm confused. Cos my life is so meaningless without you in my sight,
in my life, without me in your sight, in your life.
When will you come back?
Maybe I'm asking for the impossible, like a unworthy scum trying to win the
heart of a angel.
Most of the time I would uncontrollably mouth your name.
Your name it has not found a place in my voice.
I'm too scared. You denied me so many times.
Perhaps I'm born to be strong, but you cant doubt the pain I'm undergoing.
Sometimes I wonder why do i still cling on to you,
like a irritating pest. Maybe my love for you is too deep.
Too too deep. For my own good. It's like my purpose in life is to
make a happier you. Sometimes I think I can be happy just by seeing you happy.
But now I'm confused. Cos my life is so meaningless without you in my sight,
in my life, without me in your sight, in your life.
When will you come back?
Maybe I'm asking for the impossible, like a unworthy scum trying to win the
heart of a angel.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Should I?
Im not sure whom you are referring to.
Should i believe what you once told me?
That what you write is just unreal.
Or should i believe what you are trying to tell me now.
My senses failed me once(or maybe not, hopefully)
maybe im making up everything myself again..
If there is a slightest chance that you love me,
then im in what im in now. a state of dilemma.
Am i just a lifeboat to save you from your sunken cruise?
But then again i would gladly well be one. To see you happy again.
Or am i just a fleeting desire, like the one everyone has?
But then again i would gladly well be one. For your love i would die to have, be it for a second or for eternity.
Should i find you and cure us of our pain? Should i put an end to all these messy things?
Then again, are all those meant for me? Maybe it's your stress acting up again, needing someone to care for you.
Maybe im not even anything to you. Not even a person you hate.
Then i would disappear slowly. dissolve. vaporise. leaving no trace of me in this cruel world.
Should i believe what you once told me?
That what you write is just unreal.
Or should i believe what you are trying to tell me now.
My senses failed me once(or maybe not, hopefully)
maybe im making up everything myself again..
If there is a slightest chance that you love me,
then im in what im in now. a state of dilemma.
Am i just a lifeboat to save you from your sunken cruise?
But then again i would gladly well be one. To see you happy again.
Or am i just a fleeting desire, like the one everyone has?
But then again i would gladly well be one. For your love i would die to have, be it for a second or for eternity.
Should i find you and cure us of our pain? Should i put an end to all these messy things?
Then again, are all those meant for me? Maybe it's your stress acting up again, needing someone to care for you.
Maybe im not even anything to you. Not even a person you hate.
Then i would disappear slowly. dissolve. vaporise. leaving no trace of me in this cruel world.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
偏偏喜欢你
愁绪挥不去苦闷散不去
为何我心一片空虚
感情已失去一切都失去
满腔恨愁不可消除
为何你的嘴里总是那一句
为何我的心不会死
明白到爱失去一切都不对
我又为何偏偏喜欢你
爱已是负累相爱似受罪
心底如今满苦泪
旧日情如醉此际怕再追
偏偏痴心想见你
为何我心分秒想着过去
为何你一点都不记起
情义已失去恩爱都失去
我却为何偏偏喜欢你
为何我心一片空虚
感情已失去一切都失去
满腔恨愁不可消除
为何你的嘴里总是那一句
为何我的心不会死
明白到爱失去一切都不对
我又为何偏偏喜欢你
爱已是负累相爱似受罪
心底如今满苦泪
旧日情如醉此际怕再追
偏偏痴心想见你
为何我心分秒想着过去
为何你一点都不记起
情义已失去恩爱都失去
我却为何偏偏喜欢你
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Everything I do, I do it for you.
Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Bryan Adams - Everything I Do (I Do It For You)
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Bryan Adams - Everything I Do (I Do It For You)
Monday, January 23, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Invulnerable.
How i wish im invulnerable, but im not. Love is.
Im really curious what's inside me, that makes me keep on loving you,
even though u told me to get the fuck off and find a better girl.
But it was like whatever and all i want is you.
And even until now its still true.
You dont believe in my forever.
You chose to give me up.
I never gave up.
But you still dont believe, even until now.
I really miss you.
Maybe one day we will see each other again, face to face.
Whats gonna happen then..?
I guess you would have forgotten me by then.
And i will be a one you wish you didnt see that day.
Im really curious what's inside me, that makes me keep on loving you,
even though u told me to get the fuck off and find a better girl.
But it was like whatever and all i want is you.
And even until now its still true.
You dont believe in my forever.
You chose to give me up.
I never gave up.
But you still dont believe, even until now.
I really miss you.
Maybe one day we will see each other again, face to face.
Whats gonna happen then..?
I guess you would have forgotten me by then.
And i will be a one you wish you didnt see that day.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
等待
我不知道你是否曾经爱过我.
不过我很确定我爱上了你.
这不是一首歌,请别弄错. 你对我的冷漠, 我以悲痛来面对.
你造成的伤, 已没有愈合的迹象.
我只能在梦中遇见你了.
有时好怀疑你所说的一切.
我已习惯只相信美好的回忆, 那让我觉得我在一场最凄美的爱情故事,
那令我感受到快乐的意思的那一回忆.
我知道爱是要讲缘分. 我想我们有缘无分吧..
我可还在等待, 你是否知道?
但是你知道了又能改变了什么呢?
该你的就该是你的.
不过我很确定我爱上了你.
这不是一首歌,请别弄错. 你对我的冷漠, 我以悲痛来面对.
你造成的伤, 已没有愈合的迹象.
我只能在梦中遇见你了.
有时好怀疑你所说的一切.
我已习惯只相信美好的回忆, 那让我觉得我在一场最凄美的爱情故事,
那令我感受到快乐的意思的那一回忆.
我知道爱是要讲缘分. 我想我们有缘无分吧..
我可还在等待, 你是否知道?
但是你知道了又能改变了什么呢?
该你的就该是你的.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
One sided soulmates
What would you do if it was you?
What would you try when theres nothin else to do?
No fact or fiction, a cleaner kitchen, a thousand apolgies
Nothin can change it, just gotta face it, she's got to leave.
Is there any way that I can make her stay?
Is there anyone out there who knows the magic words to say?
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
Somebody's made a big mistake.
One-sided soulmates only have one heart to break.
This is the story of an idiot and an angel
An unbroken connection that haunts me still.
Won't someone please cut this line.
I can drown this feeling, but I'm running out of wine.
So whats the big deal, I feel what she feels, but thats where it ends
My baby she could carry, then one day we'd marry, but she tells me we're just friends
Somebody's made a big mistake.
One-sided soulmates only have one heart to break.
This is the story of an idiot and an angel
An unbroken connection that haunts me still.
Is there any way that I can make her stay?
Is there anyone out there who knows the magic words to say?
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
------------------------------------------------
a poem taken from the web.
What would you try when theres nothin else to do?
No fact or fiction, a cleaner kitchen, a thousand apolgies
Nothin can change it, just gotta face it, she's got to leave.
Is there any way that I can make her stay?
Is there anyone out there who knows the magic words to say?
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
Somebody's made a big mistake.
One-sided soulmates only have one heart to break.
This is the story of an idiot and an angel
An unbroken connection that haunts me still.
Won't someone please cut this line.
I can drown this feeling, but I'm running out of wine.
So whats the big deal, I feel what she feels, but thats where it ends
My baby she could carry, then one day we'd marry, but she tells me we're just friends
Somebody's made a big mistake.
One-sided soulmates only have one heart to break.
This is the story of an idiot and an angel
An unbroken connection that haunts me still.
Is there any way that I can make her stay?
Is there anyone out there who knows the magic words to say?
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
------------------------------------------------
a poem taken from the web.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
There.
I must thank God and you for the 10 seconds today.. and it is 5-10m now.
I could feel my heart racing when I was that near.
But sad memories and thoughts they keep coming back.
Tonight I'm haunted again.
I could feel my heart racing when I was that near.
But sad memories and thoughts they keep coming back.
Tonight I'm haunted again.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Thank you.
I dunno who should i thank.. God? maybe.. or you?
Thank you for letting me see you again. Although it was really 5 secs.. and i was at 50m away..
but still, that is enough.
One can't ask for more.
Thank you for letting me see you again. Although it was really 5 secs.. and i was at 50m away..
but still, that is enough.
One can't ask for more.
My timetable...
my freaking timetable. shaded are teh subjects that im involved in. bear in mind each period is 1 hour. p.s. i did this timetable using excel leh!! not bad hor? nice rite!
..... so i have 2 days where sch ends at 6.15. 1 day(pdp) at 6.30... 1 day at 5.15 and last day at 4.15..
so pls pls pls pls pls dont complain ur timetable in front of me!! hmppph!! (just kidding haha)
then my cca is tentatively wed and thurs.. which may change to friday..(becos fri has designated pdp slots..)
so.. my timetable simply rox la.
does tj provide sleeping bags? T_T
..... so i have 2 days where sch ends at 6.15. 1 day(pdp) at 6.30... 1 day at 5.15 and last day at 4.15..
so pls pls pls pls pls dont complain ur timetable in front of me!! hmppph!! (just kidding haha)
then my cca is tentatively wed and thurs.. which may change to friday..(becos fri has designated pdp slots..)
so.. my timetable simply rox la.
does tj provide sleeping bags? T_T
Monday, January 02, 2006
This love..
as usual. everytime i open the blogger i would be momentarily stunned at this page,
i would forget what i would want to say.
i was hoping that my entry could be more natural this time. but then again, i wonder why is that so.
you had gone away. just like that. it's been like one and a half month already. maybe you have clean forgotten me. maybe im just like another tree by your road in life, so insignificant, so easily forgotten. every night is like a nightmare. and every time i thought of why things have to become this way, my heart would shatter like it was an glass vase fallen from the thousandth floor.
it's always me. it was as though i was the only one in love. until you told me so that that's the truth. disillusioned. even until when hope came. that you wasn't you.
all in that cyberspace web. but who should i trust this time? you? or you?
i've fallen in this paradox you've created.
sch is starting. will there be a chance where i will see you again? five seconds and i would be contented. but after all, would that matter? you would still be you in your would full of false and act, and me, dead as ever without you.
i would forget what i would want to say.
i was hoping that my entry could be more natural this time. but then again, i wonder why is that so.
you had gone away. just like that. it's been like one and a half month already. maybe you have clean forgotten me. maybe im just like another tree by your road in life, so insignificant, so easily forgotten. every night is like a nightmare. and every time i thought of why things have to become this way, my heart would shatter like it was an glass vase fallen from the thousandth floor.
it's always me. it was as though i was the only one in love. until you told me so that that's the truth. disillusioned. even until when hope came. that you wasn't you.
all in that cyberspace web. but who should i trust this time? you? or you?
i've fallen in this paradox you've created.
sch is starting. will there be a chance where i will see you again? five seconds and i would be contented. but after all, would that matter? you would still be you in your would full of false and act, and me, dead as ever without you.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy New Year.
Here's my last yr's review and this yr's list of hopes.
sucks. okok. good.
Review(in chronological order):
Acne.. wtf>???(sorry for being vulgar hahax)
TJ orientation T_T
O lvl results..
Sch posting..aka JAE
JCT.
Promos.
Truth revealed...(haix..)
night hike!! with gay frens except qw..
XMas! lots of prezzie
Countdown at marina bay with wangzi and 4F (some..)
Lotsa jokes during the trip and back home!
Hopes:
1. Get a girlfriend. (haix.. who can i blame.. im ugly and not clever and not funny and so quiet.. can someone help me out? haha..)
2. 4As 2 Distinctions..
3. Happy.
4. World a better place!
im very sick now... just came back from marina bay.. walked alot.. blog another day soon..
sucks. okok. good.
Review(in chronological order):
Acne.. wtf>???(sorry for being vulgar hahax)
TJ orientation T_T
O lvl results..
Sch posting..aka JAE
JCT.
Promos.
Truth revealed...(haix..)
night hike!! with gay frens except qw..
XMas! lots of prezzie
Countdown at marina bay with wangzi and 4F (some..)
Lotsa jokes during the trip and back home!
Hopes:
1. Get a girlfriend. (haix.. who can i blame.. im ugly and not clever and not funny and so quiet.. can someone help me out? haha..)
2. 4As 2 Distinctions..
3. Happy.
4. World a better place!
im very sick now... just came back from marina bay.. walked alot.. blog another day soon..
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