a sigh late at night.

its been a long time isnt it?
yet time seems to have passed so quickly,
so mercilessly.
here i am, sitting alone in the night.
my heart is faltering,
weakening each passing day
without you.

ohhhhh does it really has to be like this?
we were both determined in the past,
that we do not need a companion in life.
but when we looked each other in the eyes,
all was gone.

why? why are we then not together now?
what did i do? or rather did not do?
why am i so stubborn? why did i decide to disturb you again?
is it because i thought we still have a chance?

or maybe because im just deceiving myself.
"to us give another chance" only meant
to give me another chance.
a fool's hope.

do all girls like guys who are "cool"?
do they like guys who have stylish bags, shoes and hair?
not forgeting looking a least bit like some korean male star or whatever.
or some guy who talks nonsense (really really nonsensical stuff - not cold jokes) and amuses himself and you?
Or, they must be rich the very least?

if thats true, then i know why i dont see a girl falling for me.
or maybe the reason behind this is that im a psychopath or whatever?
or im a mugger? VOID OF FEELINGS? (if u felt the amount of HATRED i have in the 3 words would u have felt the same?)
or because of the fucking surname i didnt (and cant) choose and happen to have?
just because of my fairly better results?
im not boasting now but i really dont give a dam about tutorials and i have done less than 10% of all tutorials so please dont come talking to me about what a mugger i am.
cos if im a mugger that will make the whole world else mugger elites.

i hate it man. why do i sound like a psychopath?
ever since i fell in love, i become crazier each day.
im afraid someday im gonna lose it.
im afraid someday im going to end my life.

when.. just when will all this pain end?
when will i be able to hold you like how i do
in my dreams?