Merry X'mas.

If you can hear me say something today,
all I wish is to say "I Love You".
I know you don't even like me in any way,
Love can't be forced, yeah i know. And that's why I still love you.

I know I would be hurt. But I just have to keep on loving.
Once heard a saying "If people do not love you, love them anyway."
I hope you are really having a great time now..

A new year is coming. What can be new next year?
New sorrow? New sadness? Life's like this.
The more you expect the more you'll be disapointed.
So I'm not having any new year wishes for next yr.
Just living my life till it ends.

And I've got many many presents from my relatives. Thank you all! I like them very much.

Merry lonely x'mas gibson.

Always.

Always been wondering.
Always been afraid.
Always thinking.
Always you.

Always thought I knew.
Always you.
Always thought you knew.
Always me.

Always missing.
Always me and you.
Always waiting.
Always you.

Always me thinking.
Always silly things.
Always hurt.
But always worth it.
Always your happiness.

暧昧

杨丞琳-暧昧

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情
还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还是你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人
是不是同一个
真实的你
暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你
写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里
wo……
hu…wo…

Dreams.

I dreamt of you last night.
Isn't surprising. I dream of you every night.
In my every dream you are smiling. and the smiles keep me going on.
I wonder when will I get to see you again.

I wish when the next time I see you,
you would smile like you did in my dreams.
But I know very well, dreams are dreams.
If dreams do come true so easily, there wouldn't be so many
going into great lengths to realise their dreams.

And so another day passes, without you.
I hate it. It's like I'd never lived at all.
All the time wasted when I'm not with you.
I pray I can see you soon enough.
and hope for the best when I really do see you.

Starry

Quietly, the starlight glows
Moments shared, not long ago
So true so long, hmm..

The stars above,
You and me in this glow.

The nights so dear, hmm..
Sparkling, dazzling
Stars and us alone.

I Love You

I love you, if it is what you need.
Would you mind me giving it to you?

Now that we're here, so far away.
Dreams are hard to share,
but i really hope
the one i dreamt is really you.

I love you, i truly do,
but what if i dont love you by saying,
I love you.. ?
I love you.

Hope you know.

That's Why You Go Away

I hope you are doing fine there without me,
cos I'm not doing so good without you.
My tomorrows are full of hopes,
Hopes I do not dare to dream about.

I know, the more I hope,
the more disapointment i will get.
And I wish you would hate me a little less,
I hope you would add me back.

But I know, it wouldn't be so soon.
I wonder why, but I'm certain I have to wait.
And so passes a lonely day,
a day without you.


MLTR - That's Why (You Go Away)

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong...

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong...

lonely.

It's here again.
The lonely wind.
It sets me thinking of you,
your smile and your everything.

And I'm waiting,
as though tomorrow you'll be mine.
But that will never happen.
After all, I'm only your compassion.

I hope you'd be happy today,
all safe and fine.
And so I'd wait for you all the same,
until the day I'm yours.

white flag

I.. don't know why am i feeling this way..
So lost, so desolated.
Im afraid of thinking.. i avoid thinking.
Thinking of you, thinking of why things end up this way.

One thing for sure.. i still love you.
You told me to find a better girl..
I've tried telling myself that too.
But at night, im still thinking of you.

You haunt me.
You may hate me, but i wish i could hate you.
I just can't.
Im sorry.

Right now i can only hope.
Hope that you will be happy everyday.
Life's not long.
I wish you can enjoy every moment of it.

And so one year had past
So fast, it's like last year
was just yesterday.
So theres no problem with loving you another 99 years.

and of course, forever.

heres a song for this occasion:
Dido - White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of 'It's over'
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

coincidence?

Brandy - Have You Ever? Lyrics


[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

Dead.

My graphics card is dead. ok i mean its fan.. i went to clean it.. then it didn't appreciate.. it just died after i've cleaned it.

now it cant last 5 mins of gta3 san andreas ='( (it could last 30mins - 1hr previously..) time to get a better gfx card or cooler.. zzz

so cold.

im.. so cold now. so alone. so afraid. so.. cold. it's so cold..

no comments

im so fucked up in life that i dont want to say about it anymore.

wcg over. ok its over.

bought a mouse, or rather my aunt bought it for me. its my favourite razer copperhead first edition. most fucked up thing is.. tempest blue is more exp than other 2 colours (chaos green and red) by 20 dollars? i bought at 139.. i know.. im ripped off by challenger. but my aunt was there and lazy to go half a island to buy it at 129.

no games interest me except GTA which my comp cant play. will auto restart. video card overheat i suppose.

and i really screwed my life up so hard that its so holy(hole-y).

104th

our love becoming more fa wei. no more love. nobody cares. but who cares. as long as you care. but you dont care. so what now?

they say dont put too much love into someone who doesnt treasure. but true love dont expect returns. so what now? maybe im asking for things that are unreachable. true love. who gifs a shit. the girls dont. and the guys. so no one gifs a shit.

maybe im the unreachable one. but i think you're unreachable. time.. time is like poison.

maybe the love im finding is not from you. you are master at breaking my heart.

103rd

my watch is finally revived! the strap broke some days ago.. and i had to go to OP w/o a watch haha. Im quite weird 1.. i wear watch 24/7. even when i sleep. somehow if i dont feel a thing strapped at my wrist i will feel insecured. if i dunno the time when i wan to know i also will feel insecured. like lost. Lost in the space of time. haha. maybe im mad. but hey, isn't gibson mad?

yeah and the love story below is crap. dunno why everytime post those things few days later feel weird. then wan to remove it like that.. but since i spend so much time typing it i'll keep for my own reference nxt time ba.

so me and my love are still seperated. many evil ones are now asking my close frens who is that one hor.. let me tell u all myself. she's beautiful! yeah that's it. so you all know who to eliminate le hor? no more *man ok? lol...

actually alw see me type so happily rite.. i also actually dun feel happy de la.. maybe its my nature to bring smiles to the world or wad.. i have tried alot times when im really sad then i told myself to not to smile the whole day. in the end i dont even survive the morning assembly.. cos when i look at hui kiang, whose cg is beside me then i wan to laugh lol.. dont ask me why. he is also always grinning de.

so may all true lovers get their true love ba. sigh..

my love story.

when i crossed thousands of rivers and climbed over thousands of mountains to your mansion, all you did was smiling and waving at me behind the closed window. then there was rain and i was still outside your fence. i still waited until one day i fainted and someone sent me home using the address written on my identity card inside my wallet.

then you released your pigeon and it flew to my window once again. saying you love me and need me back.

once again i crossed those rivers and climbed over those mountains. i dont feel tired this time. because i knew i had you. but when i finally reached, you were inside your house again, by the window. this time you had flowers as well, and were smiling more beautifully. there again i waited.

this time i wondered.. is it that the pigeon had gone to the wrong window? maybe im just a beggar in her eyes which yearn for the sight of her lover.

oh how i wish i could faint again. this time waking up to feel like it had all been a dream.

101st

anyway that was the 100th post.. so there's no centennial post for my blog's bdae which is 25th nov. haha.

i hate nights. everytime when being forced to sleep.. i had to lie on the bed where i cannot sleep. then i would think about alot things again.. i sometimes would blame my parents for asking to sleep early as "wasting my youth" or rather recently where i subconsciously knew there's no more youth left, "wasting my life away". It's like im not tired, why make me sleep? Or rather, make me lie on the bede thinking crap.

then, i would think that doing what in life would have the most meaning in life. because mapling 24 hours a day is crap although its fun sometimes. should i go find a girl of my dreams and ask her to roam the world with me and when we saw a very very nice place like a grassland beside a seashore(must be clean shore, no sharks, hahaha) then we would build a house (or rather find someone to build cos it will be more comfy.. imagine all hardwood then alot splinters haha. i would prefer ceremics then..) At night, she wont find gazing the stars with me a bore... then we have lots of kids..... but then again, where do i find food? if can find then where would i find the money? lol.. so its money matters again. dam sian. Then again, where would i find such a girl? even when i think i already have.. but i think she wont do such things with me la? right? (hopefully she will...)

New template!

Yeah new template that i made today =p used 5 hours to do haha.. at nite then blog.. leave comments for my new template haha :)

Zap!

oh ya yesterday was so scary. there was a thunderstorm at my area, and the zap frequency was more than 5 times per second.. and as i said, the lightning killed my house power twice.

sigh. if there is no pw now, everything will be perfect.

but there is still pw.. unescapable fact. my pw is on the 10th. same as qingwei. quite scary to think pw is 10% of uni entry score.. but who cares? lol.

jc holidays are so long.. quite song.. and im playing maple again T.T lol..
tmr i'll be buying prepaid card.. (yea im a money waster..) because i like the pet in the game VVVV Much. lol. white bunny rock my world.. and im gonna name it.... =)

ok its late now.. i blog becos i dun wanna people come my site then see the olympiad shit. people may think im haolianing or wad lolx..

heres one joke to lighten up people's mood, a joke that i haven even start thinking of after this sentence..

here it goes: "What thing that we use everyday is the least welcomed?"



ans: "tissue (ti-shooo!!)" quite lame i know lolx.

Singapore Physics Olympiad. No?

so today is the day.. physics olympiad. quite hate to hear this two words as time goes. Anyway, today was fun lolx.. Firstly, NUS is not short of pretty girls haha. They're EVERYWHERE. Secondly, canteen is quite a fun place.. although the food a lil more exp compared to college's(roast chicken rice + veggie = $2.30). Then, before we went in, we sat at a bench outside the LT. Yes. Our theory paper is done in LT. At LT seats. Then the other olympiad students talked and met their friends.. I met Weiming.. pres of [ac]².. omg he is in NUS>?? and i saw him at medicine/computing block.. One person then said, "wow, almost half of the SIA scholars are here." i am like.. wtf?

Then we went in. haha... found out one very imbalanced shit. TJC had 4 by 3 seats (we had 10 students).. HCI had 3 by 9 seats (they had 26..). its like omg? imagine the highest of the 3 rows is Gold medals, then 2nd row is Silver, then last is Bronze LOL. ok nvm.. then i saw zhao ke i think.. or another scholar from ahs.. omg he was talking to a girl.. so jian..

When the guy said the paper is 4-hour long, the crowd went "huh??" (cos notice is 1-6pm). when he said there are 8 questions everyone say "WAAA" lol.. but the qns are shorter tts y.. well i managed to do 3(2 of which i think wrong..) and i tikamed 2 qns.. (by anyhow subbing equations to get marks..) so i really hope i wont get COP... (Certificate of Participation)

TPJC was quite funny.. one whole bunch left 30 mins after the exam started.. lol..(they were the last to enter too..) tj had its own share of leavers.. OMG LEAVERSS.. GO AWAY NOOBS. DONT PLAY DOTA. oopss haha.

after everything.. the torture comes.. when on the mrt on the longggggggg journey home.. there lives many scholars discussing the paper.. and when they said "is that ..... t to the power of 4?" then they said "YA!" "YEAH" while im at there "wtf...(my heart speaking)" WT*** they talking about?? haha. cant blame.. cos they are scholars. They are born to study.. lolx.

so that concludes my day.

Love.

bored.

ok today im gonna blog happy things.. i know i've been acting crazily over like.. 1 year? well that's wad love can do to a person.

ok.. so let me start off with a joke i thought of 5 secs b4 i typed this fullstop -> .
What is big, smelly.. has horns.. and love looking at white words on grass? =)

here's 2nd one.. what program would the cat make after it learnt its first programming language?



and here's the answers: 1) you 2) "hello kitty"
the 2nd answer i think only computing frens know.. programmers often make the "hello world" program in their first tutorial or somthing.. so cats = "hello kitty" lolx..


haha came back from bro's bday chalet le.. i earned a 5000% profit through gambling lolx.. i started with ten cents and won 5 dollars... yeah.. 2 days to physics olympiad theory paper le..

20/10/05

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need eternal life cause this life is bad enough.

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need a god to tell me im pathetic.

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need money cause they are not worth dying for.

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need glamour cause i have bad looks.

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need love cause i already have enough.

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need hate cause i have enough hate for this world.

Does anyone know what are we living for?
No. i dont need answers because i dont think no one knows.

somehow the answers do not answer the question.
weird right? like affairs of heart.

hahaha.

hahaha. look funny doesnt it? sounds funny doesnt it? hahaha. NO! im just practising my hypocrisy. so that i can BLEND into this world.. to ensure my survival in this world.

yea and the word "i love you" means nothing. it only means "can i break your heart now??" and when u said "i love you too" you mean "yes im dumb and pls break my heart now."

shouldnt have loved? maybe its all my fault. i wish i can die now.

a girl

just watched tje taiwanese variety show "kang xi lai le".. featuring the recently v famous lin zhiling.. well she talked abt many things... then there was the part where they ask if she would like a guy who is poor.. she said OK. then ask if he is v fat. she thought for a sec and said OK. then when asked if the guy 24/7 watch tv. she said "as long as he holds my hand while watching it.." she also said she dun care wad he do as though he holds her hand.. omg..

i was quite surprised.. that such a girl exist. and her thoughts remain unchanged.. even though shes so pretty and so famous now.. she would do anything for love.. and is so cute!! if only there exist more of such girls who values love like that. she vould go hungry as long as shes with the man she love.

and my love is the same. i hope hers is too. (not lin zhiling)

..

im starting to hate this blog more. cos everytime i blog i will blog something that most wont like. love, results, thoughts. who gives a fuck. and not forgeting posts filled with suicidal notions and just plain attitute dysfunction.

and there i got into physics olympiad (been there done that. u said it enough times already) but this time becos top 10 of 12 left in olympiad will then be chosen to represent. i got 80% for promos so i got 4th among the 12. 1st was some 93 marks 2nd 91 3rd 89 then hmm 4th = me? yeah and theres people who say "world is unfair" or "why are some people so hardworking and yet they dun get what they deserve while some fking idiots just keep getting gd results!??!" well for that. y not ask ur favourite idol. the jerusalem idol. the man whom you all live for. praise him! yea. he.. well i mean HE got his reasons. dun ask me! me small yo HE is BIG man. TEH DUDE to ask.

so dun look as if im at fault. im just telling the truth. and 3/4 people would say(though i think they werent meant to hurt any1) "well that's the diff btw stupid people and smart people" .. well theres 2 errors in that statement. first im not clever. (if i am i would already be inventing things now? than struggling with feasibility crap in the godlike subject called PW. yea its BIG too.). second, if you think you're stupid.. well.. apparently by most.. its quite stupid to say that, and quite clever to find out if u really are?

so what i get gd results w/o working hard? at least im not sleeping in lectures. who's to blame? me? i didnt wake you up during lectures and well try to tell you to break off with your bfs and gfs and just stfu and listen to lectures and lessons? i have been listening v closely to lessons since primary 1? sometimes i see teacher wtfing explaining the same thing over and over again. something quite obvious but due to ur choice of wanting to have a merrier time during lesson times( yea share jokes, sleep, gossip. wadever.) then you dun understand a shit?

call me a mugger or wadever. and yea i study behind your backs man. i dont play computer at home. and i lie about my performance wadever. i wont say what i dun feel. if its feeling of me gonna fail. it sure is. dun fuck and say "yea rite" or wadever. when i really fail, do i get sympathy? no 1 cares anyway.

You have changed.

You have changed. That's obvious. Changed to someone i would not prefer.
But hey, i've said i'd love you forever. and forever does not end now.
That's why this results in something called heartbreak, a word abused by many.
And i wonder if i had made the right choice.

a must go.

http://thelaptop.blogspot.com/ taken from qw's links

just typing crap.

she:

would never need me.
would never miss me.
would never look for me. [?]
would never say she loves me. [?]
would never leave me.
would never forget me. [?]
would never be with me.
would never do things just for me.
would never believe me.

i:

would never stop loving you.
would never stop thinking of you.
would never hate you.
would never stop giving in to you.
would never stop pissing you off.
would never stop dreaming of you.
would never believe you. [?]

you:

should be bored by now.
should be going to press the [x] button now.
should be v bo liao reading my blog.
should know im bo liao too. by now.


Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.

o.O

dont think this is v true..

Your Birthdate: January 23

With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them. You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas. You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel. You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable. Your mind is quick, clever and analytical. A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine. You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility. Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

haix..

wan dan le.. fail gp mock exam le..

dunno why i feel the way i feel again.. its all coming back.. maybe becos it has been too long since.......

I wish I didn't wish so hard. Maybe I wished our love apart.

entry in chinese

for those who cant see.. go View -> Encoding -> unicode

我的痛苦谁能了解..? 当爱带来的伤痛比快乐还多, 我们是否应该继续交往下去?? 可是我们跟本不在交往.. 有些事不能说, 当说了又有谁会体会我的为难? 如果我追求你, 你的梦想将不能实现.. 那你不是会难过..? 但是我当然不舍得离开你.. 没了你我怎么活.? 但是你的幸福比一切都重要.. 可却不知你认为我的爱护带来的幸福是否比追求梦想的还好.. 那么久没见到你, 不知道怎么做..


搁浅-周杰伦
词:宋健彰 曲:周杰伦

久未放晴的天空 依旧留着你的笑容
哭过却无法掩埋歉疚
风筝在阴天搁浅 想念还在等待救援
我拉着线复习你给的温柔
暴晒在一旁的寂寞 笑我给不起承诺
怎么会怎么会你竟原谅了我

我只能永远读着对白
就当我对你的伤害
我原谅不了我
就请你当作我已不在
我睁开双眼 看着空白
忘记你对我的期待
读完了依赖 我很快就离开

promos.

die la promos coming... i feel v stressed now. i have forgetton lots of things! what is the Un term of a geometric series?? then meanwhile integration slowly disappear from my memory banks..

and im still playing maple... acct got banned i started another.. banned becos i afk trained.. i put my nokia 3310 on the attack button and went to sleep. next morning it says i used macro/autokeyboard(some v advanced programs) LOL..

tmr gonna go down suntec support my 2 frens playing wcg... come down support me also k? lolx support me supporting them!

ok thats lame.. but i really sian now..

i dun understand women, or rather, you. but u are my only woman so it doesnt matter.

Westlife - Miss You

I can't sleep, I just can't breathe
When your shadow is all over me bay
Don't wanna be, a fool in your eyes
'Cause what we had was built in lies

And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me hear what I say

I don't wanna feel
The way that I do
I just wanna be
Right here with you
I don't wanna see
See us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...

What would it take, for you to see
To make you understand that I'll
always believe
You and I, can make it through
And still know, I can't get over you

And when our love seems to fade away
Listen to me hear what I say

I don't wanna feel
The way that I do
I just wanna be
Right here with you
I don't wanna see
See us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...

'Cause when our love always
fades away
Listen to me hear what I say

I don't wanna feel
The way that I do
I just wanna be
Right here with you
I don't wanna see
See us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...

I don't wanna feel
The way that I do
I just wanna be
Right here with you
I don't wanna see
See us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...

no 1 understands

in this world its hard to find someone who understands you alot. maybe some loving parents who take the time to do it will understand you alot.. but unfortunately again.. mine dont even care about my feelings. my relationship with them are just monetary. not that i want it to be like that.. but they are like that. thats why when i grow up in future, i wan to create a heartwarming family..

money sucks. but no money sux more. humans live in this world for no bloody reason but all of them work for money. so nxt time what job do i want? some people prefers doing something they like. well.. i prefer a job that doesnt require much time and still earn alot money. i wonder what job is like that.. if any1 knows pls tell me.. so which uni course shld i take? hmm..

i have decided.. i wan my life to be a slack 1.. no more thoughts of inventing hovering cars with fusion cells or whats not.. i'll just slack at my studies.. (aim = 4As 2Ds must still be there though.. becos i got bad experience.. o lvls.. haix..) is enough.. olympiad bo chap...

right now im playing maplestory.. haix wad a waste of time.. promos here soon. eom due tmr.. sian..

you are irreplaceable..

random thoughts

really nothing to do now.. just finished physics spa today so decide to take a rest for the rest of the day(since when i didnt)

anyway.. since im blogging so i think i shld blog more useful stuff ba.. below are my some of my opinions that may serve as food for thoughts~ for some people.. if u disagree nvm! cos its just some opinions and random thoughts..

most of us usually compare ourselves with people around us or compare others with others or compare wad u did last time and now.. so comparation is unavoidable.. even some parents like to compare u btw siblings or relatives' children (like mine).. well i guess for 1 to be v successful.. if u wan to compare urself with something or someone.. always comapre urself with the best.
for eg. right now im in scg 1.6/0_5.. my class l1r5 entry score is 2nd lousiest but we blah blah blah.. (summary: my class is a average class, no foreign talents, no intensive muggers) .. and so i topped my class(i believe so..) this jct.. yeah i know i mention this qutie a few times but pls be understandable.. i first time get leh! for my whole life!
anyway back to topic.. i think if u compare me with my classmates(not saying their lousy..) and say im shen(god in chinese.. i know its a offence to some.. esp christians..) which my classmates are doing now.. its abit useless.. rather than encouragement or praising, u are making me hard for me to improve.. becos u have all made me feel that im the best already..
but the fact is there is alot... alot..... alottt....... allotttttt. more people smarter than me.. for example 1 guy in tj named Chong Yue (oops) is a chinese scholar and he had just won gold for singapore maths olympiad (SMO).. got A for discrete maths (i got D and i was already damn happy..) and he is selected for physics olympiad and he missed 3 lessons but he still looks as confident as ever.. its like.. wtf.. and i think he got chem olympiad somemore.. (inference in case u dont get it: he is trip sci and not Fmaths and he still won SMO gold wth..)
and there is the indian scholar in discrete maths who got A+ for it.. and teacher said he got the Ph.D calibre... wth...
maybe im getting jealous lolz.. sometimes i feel that if i cant be a best at something then its like life is wasted.. (not saying that you people not best at something then not fit to live.. pls english..)
its like.. people can do it. u arent any more disabled.. so u sure can do it too..
but im already discovering the limits of my capabilities in maths.. or rather discrete maths.. too much study has killed my innovative thinking.. i cant solve maths problems specially oftenly already. (specially oftenly already lolz..)

and i still haven tot of wad job i shld have for future.. will talk about this next blog

where are you..?

nice song.

quite a nice song.. maybe too blunt on the vulgarity part lolx

You're Beautiful - James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F__king high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

hows life

maths test today.. sure fail liao.. those i did i think ard passing mark nia..

failed essay.. 17/50.. first time i failed a gp essay.. and the teacher commented tell me read more to find out how things world in the world.. was like.... stunned when i saw that. but wads undeniable is that i have detached myself from the world since like hmm.. many years..

tmr is napha 2.4km.. i failed chin up last sat.. damn nth to say..

today finished my pw WR draft.. i am in charge of chapter 5.. which is conclusion.. then i finished writing my gp essay.. wad a day..

and this morn'.. i saw......

long time no c

hi all my loyal blog supporters(maybe none) !! but hello blog! long time no see!

din really have time to xiang ni fa lao sao this half a month... anyway.. im dling game now so got the time to blog..

next tues is Micromouse competition ! come support me!! Great World City The Atrium!! 9 o clock! haha

haix.. so many xin shi but cannot say out.. haix....

yuan tian xia you qing ren zhong cheng juan shu.. =/

and why am i speaking so much mandarin haha.. and wad a short blog entry.. dinn tot of wad to write..

joke

haha i heard this from a chnl 8 show "Tian cai yu bai chi"

priest : hey my jacket here needs cleaning.. how long will it take?
laundry guy: 1 week.
priest : its only a jacket! wad is the shortest possible time for it to get cleaned?
laundry guy: 7 days.
priest: God only took 6 days to create the universe including humans! you need 7 days??
laundry guy: look. all clothes i have cleaned are sparkling good and dirtless.. while all men have flaws.

haha.. quite funny

jct results..

dun read on if u hate people talking about their results!


hahaha. my gp is 93rd percentile in the cohort leh..! got 892 people.. so it makes me 62nd in gp! lolz

then Maths was lousiest.. 82nd percentile. sux rite..

physics dunno cos my bloody result slip printed wrong.. got 2 computing results.. T.T

computing hor... dunno why sia.. i top ma.. but why only 94th percentile zz...... maybe 1 person is 6%.. so im the last 6 percentile haha

chemistry not bad... 87th percentile..

below is a summary..

Exam Marks Grade Percentile People who took the exam My Rank
GP 53.5 C5 93 892 62.4
Maths 68 B 82 835 150
Physics 75 A d u n n o y e t
Computing 84 A 94 18 1
Chemisty 67 B 87 701 91.1

judging from the results.. i think im the top 100 in school? haha yes! last time sec sch only 300+ people i dun even top 100.. now 892 i top 100 haha! that makes me top 10% of top 20% sch
ool yo! that means im top 5% of singapore this cohort! will i get edusave ar? long time no get.. sad..

and im top in class!

and my hao lian still hvn end yet..

the top physics in my class was a retainee.. so not invited for olympiad selection tests.. while me(3rd) and yu feng(2nd) (i lost to him unfortunately... sad..) were nominated by our teacher..

the qns were so bian tai.. and today result was posted.. i was selected yo! while yu feng was not.. they only selected 15.. so that put me into quite a prestigious position yo! and the names were shown in an announcement during lecture!

of course after geting all these results need to thank some people.. even though my result was still under my expectations.. because this is first time i started studying so hard and early... (<2 weeks).. I would like to thank her most importantly.. cos it was becos of my stinking results in o lvl that..... so i have become a study freak after that... then i wan to thank both my elder bro and smaller bro.. my smaller bro failed his maths, then my elder bro suaned me that i will also fail.. thats why i am so determined to get my studies right. (but in the end my maths still suck.. din get A sure tio suaned also..) .. and thank my frens for all the laughters and support.. both in games and studies :) and not forgetting teachers!

nice poem

The Colour of Hazel

The things he did and the words he said.
Its all over because of something he read.

Now forever I lost him because I lied.
I wanted to tell the truth and I tried.

I was afraid that I was just a fling.
Now I realize I could have been something.

Maybe we weren't for each other from the start.
All I'm really good for is a broken heart.

He ended it all with barely a goodbye.
We didn't last long, but still I cry.

The only thing left of him is a sad memory.
Those deep caring eyes, I will never again see.

Maybe someday we will again be together.
I hope that then it will last forever...

by Alana Demers

so happy today.

so happy today!

ah

for info, the previous post is a comment i quoted from the lyrics site.. im not that guy..

anyway.. i got 2nd highest for GP! lol 53.5 yo! 2nd highest in class! top is 58...

and i got unlimited internet finally!!

double blessing!

sorry media dudes! imma go dl songs via p2p woohoo! lolz. i'll support original when i have the money!

Look what you've done

by NoTimeForAgency on 12-03-2004 @ 04:47:01 AM

When I hear this song it makes me think of my girlfriend and the bad choices she makes or is going to make with her life that she tells me about even when she knows it is bad. I am not sure why, this song actually can make me cry sometimes....

hmm...
http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858489935

bu zhi bu jue

bu zhi bu jue 2 months passed le... haix.. maybe because it's exactly 2 months then today morning specially have a v weird feeling..

got back all my A lvl subjects jct papers le.. some results were higher than expected.. for example computing ba.. i got 42/50 then shocked dao.. highest in class worz. haha ;) chem was also higher than prelimanary expectations.. but fell below my 'hope'... i was hoping i get A for it.. but i got 67/100 t.t.... 3 marks to A haix.. Physics reached expectations.. i got 74.6/100.. so its an A.. MAths was the most disappointing one.. i got 68/100 walao.... again only 2 marks.. and freaking lotsa careless mistakes which cost me 10+ marks (not joking wor.. mixed up - and + signs.. 1 qns pak jiao din see "3" in front of "x"....) sad..

so its AABB.. i know its quite good.. but not good according to my expectations.. i could have gotten 4As if i was careful enough....... so promos! here i come! 4As woohooo..

GP will be returned either tmr or mon... that i will fail. haha.. fail jct with AABB!

haix.

exams finally over le.. as usual i fall ill after that. my gp is gonna fail.. but anyway, watched initial d today, quite a nice show but i look out for things people dun usually look out for in movies..

first is "我们要寻找自己的世界, 而赛车是你的世界." which means we must find our world(oops my english sux).. after watching this show i have the urge to find something that im gd at doing.. maybe running? i suck at gaming... sprinting is at least a thing that i have won first before.. i dun like studying so i wont go into that field... maybe driving cars? haha i scared i will die in an accident.... music?? like dun have yuan fen..

second is that the girl in the show ar.... its like she do those kind of things.. then still make people fall in love with her.... are many girls like that?? recently i watched another show called "Que Sheng" which means sparrow saint aka mahjong saint.. the girl of the main male lead also same... she is the ma zi of a triad boss then still make a nice guy fall in love with her and still go into a relationship with him... then when he found out... so sad. are girls so materialistic these days that they would sell their bodies to get money? are money that important? maybe one day i will end my life.. cos there is really nothing in this world worth looking at. (for info those who hvn watch.. that girl slept with an uncle?? for 2 weeks???? then still bluff jay chou she go holiday.. and before doing 'that' she still can think about wanting to be jay forever.....) its like... wtF?

maybe im too emotional ba.
next week results le.

time to get myself working!

This will be my last post b4 JCT.... Die liao chem i dunno how to do alot qns.. Physics will be ok ba.. i only need to memorise definitions.. Maths i just need to expose myself to more(or rather 'the') qns... Computing leh.. as long the qns come out from those taught before then shld be ok ba... i hope to get ABBC this time.. ^_^ A will be physics/computing.. B maths/computing/physics C for Chem(really hope so)!

Next term my dear physics teacher gonna leave le.. same for english, chem and maybe maths.... i think time to die le. DESERTED CLASS........

my left click spoil le.. sometimes can detect sometimes cant... maybe it signals the start of my revision ba..

i also found out something.. you gotta know things more than expected in order to force urself to memorise the things u need to know~ haha.. maybe this is how brain work for me ba..

1 week and 1 day left... wish me luck!

存在

你说著　我听著　像海浪打著　沙滩烧著
你的忧伤大于快乐　连彩虹都只剩下一种颜色

我听著　你说著　像刀子画的　隐隐痛著
就因为爱没有規則　所以心痛了死了回不去了

但是我存在著　我一直存在著
和你一起的照片仍在我的手机上贴著
爱会永远永远　你说的
离开我的时候　却没捨不得

我真的存在著　我一直存在著
不管是疯的气的我受著我紧紧手握著
傻傻的陪著守著证明你值得
但我会笑著因为一切都值得

View => Encoding => Unicode, if you cant see

Imagine one day everyone will be on an island of short grass.. no machines.. no technologies.. no food.. At night, everyone will be lying down on the grassland.. looking up towards the sky. The lack of light amplifies the luminousity of stars. Bright dots will fill the sky like snow during winter.

Everyone will not be talking.. they'll be thinking.. reflecting.. what have they done in their life.. Who is truly their best of friends? Are those big smiles and warm hugs all but of convenience? Or are they truly heartfelt? Even ten years down the road they will still remember the very moment they consoled you.? Time will tell everything.. but too bad human do not have much time to spend, and to waste.

listening to simple plan - untitled

Reply to Qw

By the way, firefox users wont be able to see my tag and links... dunno whYy.

What if in the process of loving u hurt others? For eg u hurt another guy who was v deep in love in that girl?

Anyway our lives aren't too different from robots' and machines'. We are bounded by time, rules, limits and have our tasks to complete each day. People are so involved in studying they don't know why. For those learning science... You are only learning eqns and formulaes brought down by predecessors. Have you ever thought of why it works, or you are only interested to know the application and usefulness of it in a 12-mark structured qns?

Any person can become millionaires if you have sufficient intelligence rather than knowledge.. if that is your goal in life. Many often think money don't mean happiness but is a prerequisite to enjoying happiness. Yes, you can't live w/o money. But after much thought.. is living really fun? Everyday is just a routine. To some, even friendships and relationships are. They find friends, make friends, enjoy each others' company for months or even years.. then when circumstances forces them to be further(in distance or frequency of contact) from each other, they forget about them. Take the increase in divorce rates. Is marriage only a commitment? It's because people view them as an commitment then when they meet difficulties keeping them or have lost interest in keeping them they end up feeling that he/she should break free from this commitment.

This is probably a result of premature marriage. To me.. i view marriage is a recognition of mutual true love. You don't live to keep it.. If you truly love the lady you would naturally want to keep the marriage a "forever". And if the love is mutual, she would want the marrriage to last forever. If love is mutual, who cares about anything else? Unless love is not a final stage of happiness you are aiming for.. in life.

Anyway.. too young to talk about marriage =P Lolx. 5.35 am... no one online.. just... bored.. and sad...

Regrets devour me.

Love/Hate

i think love is proportional to hate. The more u love, the more you hate. Why is that so? For example.. u love peace. Naturally u will hate war. When u love ur parents, u will hate things that will try to break their relationships. Similarly, if you love money, u'll hate living in poverty.

Love is about having affection for something. And when u dont get 'something' u will feel sad, uneasy, bad or even angry. It's our natural response to hate those things that stop things from going the way u want. Eg. You love being a top scorer, u will hate people who are fighting the place with you. You will hate (exam) problems which you cant solve and will be v determined to solve them. You will hate negative influence from friends who tells you not to study. The greater your love for it, the higher the intensity of hate you will have.

Imagine a person who doesnt not love anything.. e.g. He doesnt love his parents. Bad guys kills his parents but he has no hate for them.

So which is better? To love and hate or to remain completely emotionless?

Just a thought.

%#@

I will never go to school for shits such as SPORTS CARNIVAL again. Cos there are idiots who cant find their team members who are suppose to play DODGEBALL with them and then come over to you and ask if u are free at 2.30pm. Well.. i had no activities at school today, as i had soft tennis yesterday(also a sports carnival day) so i have already planned a outing with my friends from other schools. So i said i wasn't free. Guess what? She said i have "bad attitude". It's like wtf? u calling me bad attitude while ur teammates don't even bother to come to school? Bad attitude is quarreling with girls. So i just heck everything. I'll never go to such lame craps again.

-BAD MOOD-

For future use.

I'm so sorry for ending this

You know how much I tried

Please don't still hate me

Now that I have died

I thought I was getting better

But my whole life went wrong

I couldn't take it anymore

I suppose I'm not that strong

I couldn't help the way I felt

It was always there so bad

Whatever I did to end it

I never stopped feeling sad

Everything just got too much

There was nothing left of my life

I didn't want to give in

But I suppose I lost the fight

No one should blame themselves

For this, my final state

You all did what you could

But I think it was too late

I've felt dead for longer

Then I've been alive

I pretended that I was okay

I'm sorry but I lied

I didn't want to hurt you

But that is what I've done

Try to understand

This is the only way I won

You'll go on without me

You're all strong enough

Don't give up like I did

If things get way too tough

I know I'm weak

A selfish child

I'm sorry that

I never smiled

It wasn't you

It was me

Maybe I should

Have let you see

But I didn't want to hurt you

Or want you to see how much I cried

The screaming and the anger

That I held inside

The blood, the tears

All the hate

the pills I took

that were my fate

Please try and understand

What I had to do

I'm so, so sorry

For hurting you

But I had to go

This is the end

I hope in time

The pain will mend

Please remember

To be strong

Even though

I have gone

Smile when you think of me

Please don't shed a tear

When you remember me

I'll always be so near

Please understand

The pain I felt

How nobody could save me

From myself

Now I'm going

To say goodbye

I can feel my eyes

Start to cry

I didn't want to hurt you

I'm sorry it ended this way

I know there's nothing else

Left for me to say

So many questions left unanswered

But this is what I have to do

I couldn't see myself

Ever coming through

The end is here

But I'll always stay

In your memories

Every day

Think of me

Now I'm gone

But please remember

To be strong.

Now I'm going

Leaveing here

Crying out

My final tear

But even though

I am gone away

In your hearts

I'll always stay

I love you all

Don't be sad

Think of all

The fun we had

Let go of me

And move on

Always remember

To be strong

I'm so sorry

For leaving you

I didn't know

What else to do

I'm sorry

For every tear

And that I'm

No longer here

My life is over now

But yours will carry on

Just remember

To be strong.

You don't even know that you are breaking my heart.

INTEGRITY = FAIL SPA?

HAHA today definite not the day for me.

Firstly, FORGOT TO BRING GOGGLES FOR SWIMMING! Then, ALMOST FAINTED WHILE SWIMMING.

Then i am destined to F*** that S*** AGAIN! I HAVE SCREWED UP MY A LVL SPA ASSESSMENTTTTTTTTTTTTT MY TITRATION VALUE WAS +- [] . () () cm FROM THE ANSWER! I'VE SCREWEEEEEEEEDDDDDDD GGGOOOOODBYEE A LVL CHEMISTRY 'A' BYEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

** F*** = Flop, S*** = Subj

IMmmmmmmmmmmmm Sccccrrrrrrreeeeeeeeewwwweddddd!!!
STUDYING NOT FOR MEEEE! QUIT SCH! AKHAHJAJHAsdkhj. kidding.

haha tj band got gold with honours! congrats...
time pass so fast sia..

Deleted posts HAHAHA. muahahaah! siaox.

Incompetent fools

Is this world becoming better? Are people getting more sensible?

I wonder why some people nowadays are damn fickle-minded. Why do these people's decisions get influenced by others so easily? Don't they have a mind of their own? Or is it they think that others can think better, thus leaving their decisions for others to make? Or is it following the trend is always right, while doing the things people seldom do are considered peculiar beings/aliens?

I do detest people who try to influence others. They think they are always right. If not, they are just finding more people to do the things he/she deep-down knows is wrong yet know when more people do those things, they become right. Right things on the other hand are considered as old-fashion. Sensible enough people who still mingles with this old fashion are considered 'out', 'extra' and more oftenly 'gay'.

People who try to influence others think others are stupid. They are trying to tell you that you cant think. "Hey there, let's go -blah blah-" simply means "Just go la.. u dont have the ability to decide for urself. let me decide wads good for u." Bear in mind that the first speech does not have a question mark at the end. A person who respects you and recognises u as a human would instead ask "Hey, do you want to go -blah blah-?"

Yes i admit i do attempt to influence people at times. I'm wrong. Yes and i would change.

Some of you i already give up. After listening to my bullshit u would just say "yeah im useless and i dont care" and would just continue to lead the same lives(people's lives, cos u aint got ur own). Well. this i got nothing to say. Cos i leave it to YOUrself to decide. Because i think you can think.

Maybe more such entries coming up... if i got the time... right now i got tonnesss of HWwwwww.
(maybe i will edit this entry next time.. cos it's like abit short, cant bring out what i want to say.)

18 April

hohoho check this out http://13apostles.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=27#341&sid=809fb322200db352ae57b9d11c222ac5

quite true for others.. while not exactly true for me.. =(

well i shall not say which qualities are not true for me.. i'll let u decide.. im an elm tree yippee!

PI TMR Omg hvn started! im dead.

15 April

"Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones."

hmm......

hw is still pwning(owning.. ehz nvm i mean killing) me as usual and omg thats a new hw. PW sux hard. i think moe is really ap lor kidding.

So far in lectures i only managed to hear and write but not listen and think. the lecturers are talking way to far for anyone's welfare.. why dont someone kill the lecturers take out their brains and put them in a visualiser which then melt them into tape. Then put the tape in a radio and play it at 1/2 x speed. lolz

im crude, violent, english noob, and love to hobby! who am i??!? (riddle joke)

sorry im getting too excited haha.. too much hw..

hmm i still think jc is really v tough.. maybe becos i got a ********* timetable. hmm... dunno why i feel like making a new blog template.. but see first. now i got no time. no slp. no fun. but lotsa hw.

gg gl hf esp to amnesia. this entry specially written for u and dedicated to F***man.

actually this entry is crap..

next entry i promise a more in-depth strings of words.

wo de timetable..

Here's my timetable.. green one are my lessons.. LH is lunch.. those in caps are lectures. rest tutorials..

quote from www.clanalt.com

March 24, 2005
Starcraft Love Story
hehe i thought this was the sweetest thing ive seen in awhile. taken from teamliquid

Day[9] United States. March 22 2005 15:30. Posts 578

This is the gf of a SC player using day’s name to make a post.

I’m sure people don’t do this often… and I’m sure he will get embarrassed when he reads this…so Ill keep his name secret. omg...im embarrased too..eek..

He is the sweetest, nicest guy I have met. Even though I don’t play starcraft, it was starcraft that brought us together. A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to meet a really awesome starcraft player and since I am so fascinated by people with talent, I was excited to meet him. Almost star-struck when I met him, we soon became friends. We would often talk til 5 am on weekdays (no body sleeps in college) talked about and argued over anything from politics to why it’s always the white guy with the asian girl and not the white girl with the asian guy.

Hes such a shy guy when it comes to girls. The classic "nice guy" that pple think would never get the girl. wrong. I fell for him. I loved how he is such a good listener, I loved how he knew what to say to make me feel better and strong again, I love his whole personality…and of course I was awed by his starcraft talents ( I could watch him play for hours asking questions about wat you guys call "builds" .

Its been a year now and he is still everythin I wanted from a boyfriend. He’s cute, affectionate, caring, and he is often what I brag about to my friends haha. I tell him everyday that I love him very much and that I know someday we will get married. Even though hes not the best with romantic words, he tells me the sweetest things just because he knows I love to hear them. I feel lost if I don’t see him for a few hours and I cant go to sleep at night without his shoulder to lie on. He is really the best boyfriend and any girl would be lucky to have him.
He is taking me to Hawaii to celebrating our one-year anniversary during springbreak, and this is the one thing that I thought of (sounded liked a good idea when I was taking a shower…aww…I love how ideas fly when the water starts splashing) to show him my love for him.

Since the first thing he does when he clicks on internet explorer is go to his favorites list and read TL.net, I don’t mind sounding cheesy and posting this love note publicly. Anyways, everyone needs somethin sweet and cheesy in their day to remind them how sweet love is, even if all you do is play starcraft and read TL.net all day.(ROFL NICE DISS, SHE JUST HAD TO SNEAK THAT IN) Please help keep this thing alive long enough for him to see it. Thanks.

Everything means nothing if I aint got you.
Happy one-year baby. I love you.

And for those wondering who this is about, it aint just a crazy 200 pound gamer who still plays starcraft 7 years after its release.(HI COW, HI PON). Its none other than the immensely talented and 3 time straight WCG USA champion.

HAppy anniversery to you FroZ!, girls like that are as rare and precious as errr... THE OC DVD SET!. No, seriously... can you think of any?

SO ON A SIDE NOTE, is there anyone with the OC season1 dvd set i can burrow? Tell you what, we will make a trade since either no1 seems to have it or wants to lend me! ArgasAH!!. I have the simpsons dvd season 1-4, malcom in the middle season 1, futurama season 1-3, pick one season and we will exchange them for a few weeks...! Rest assured your dvd will be handled with perfect care as you are to expected likewise to handle mine with. Mail here

Posted by CoW at 12:26 AM | Comments (5)

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Well. My frens keep saying "sian" and when i ask y they say dunno. haha. i also sian but dunno y. maybe all of us just dont really fancy jc life.. sec sch is damn fun..... too bad cant relive the experience.. if i were given one wish.. i wan to turn back time to where i was sec 2 =)

hmm i kinda miss music class lolz. actually i miss the atmosphere in the music room.. i miss the classrooms days.. where u spend most of ur time staying in a single classroom. miss how me and my frens played during sec 2 and 3.. haha kinda childish games but hey those are the times where u are really urself.. just play on.. nothing on our minds...

i feel that it's quite impossible to make really good frens in jc... cos everyone have their sec sch frens.. unless u are those shallow people who thinks everyone is ur good fren then all i can say is good luck to u.. cos real frens are the ones who will help u in times or despair..

If i can turn back time i swear that i would pia for my o's.. instead of playing... [pls.. i aint making any point here but i know almost everybody say they play din study.. some are obviously fakes.. one thing i want to make clear is that me.. Gibson. Hate lying the most. if u think im lying pls just press the [x] at the top right hand corner and nvr come back again!] although yes some of u say its quite a good result.. but i cant get into schs i wan to go with this result. and purposely some crap incidents have to happen which i dont want to even think about them anymore.

i know it sounds mushy but next time when i am on my deathbed i would wan to thank everyone who has appeared in my life. esp my friends and my family.. and .... .

so see ya guys around :)

Living..

la la la..

why? why do some people get haters posting at their tagboard? lolx..
sometime i feel bad fer them.. some deserve it some dont though.. but my tagboard is as quiet as my dog (cos i dont have one =x haha)

woohoo maybe i dont have much enemies haha.. my frens most dont do such things like tagging or blogging.. haaaha

sometimes i wonder why why why why why why. yes. why why why why why why why why why why..

for eg. why do humans exist? why (ans from 1st qns)? why (ans from 2nd qns)?

=) headache i know.....

haix. bored...... hwhwhw...........

sometimes i really feel if u are giving in too much u often will be either be taken advantaged of.. or taken for granted.

sian.

I'm not dead

Oh no.. Oh noo

Have u ever felt that everything is meaningless?
Have u ever felt so helpless?
Are u feeling so painful?
Are u feeling so sad?
Are u feeling so helpless?

Yes? Welcome to my life.






Nothing is real but true love.

Simplicity

All i want is simple. ( :) not quite actually) A simple life. Simple family. Simple job. Simple conversations :), that is - no beating around the bush. no guessing games. and lots of i love you's muahaha kidding.

But such simple things are v hard to obtain la. How to find someone who shares the same sentiments as u.. wants to spend whole of the person's life just with you.. lying on the greens looking at stars every night.. walk down the beach watching sunrise at dawn... (eek. dont quite like sand in singapore) play with u oftenly.. hug u tightly every hour.. hold your hands everytime.. think of u every moment.. So simple yet im so demanding! lol.

That's my only wish in this miserable life hee!

Thought for so long.. why do people slog so hard to get what PEOPLE want and not what they want? maybe u'll be happier simplier? hah. pity those people who work so hard and yet because of the 'luck' factor got some deadly diseases or something really went wrong and they end up w/o enjoying anything b4. i aint preaching or anything :)

i know la. i was so lucky to be born in this place. thats why can say "Dont work and be happy". People in Africa die everyday of starvation/civil war. but this is just wad i called LIFE la. nothing's fair. nothing. i can only pity them.

haix crap entry. dont listen to me man.

"Sometimes the easiest things we take for granted. Until they're gone, then realise we even had it." -- lyrics from N Dey Say by Nelly. no link but nvm..

signing out. beep-

Laughing Out Loud

Life has passed me by. waha!

So now i'll just live in my own small world.. awaiting for..who knows what will be coming. Be it bad things or good things. I will still be enjoying them. Cos im a loser.

So life is simple. u do the things u are not sure of for one whole life. on your death bed everything leaves you.. and all u will be doing is laugh out loud.
WAhahah

So here i am. Talking like a lunatic. Secluded from this world. Living in solitude. Desolation. =)

here in the BRAND NEW SANCTUARY! haha sorry the whole entry is just an advertisement

i listened to wai po and tears filled my eyes.. looking at the lyrics i would think that once we are old we will be so lonely.. no wonder studies shown that if the wife of an elderly guy dies before he does then the guy will die off soon also.. hmm.. maybe guys are weaker? or rather more emotional..?

Then i listened to seasons in the sun.. haix.. someone cheer me up pls. let me see this world have things other than sadness.

haix. 12.33pm and im waiting. silly. stupid.

How do I change?
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labour.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.

j

saf

happy 10th birthday to yahoo. im so glad i had founded it(lol :x) 10 years ago. now everyone is using yahoo to search for what they need on the internet.. i should be proud of myself.

as for the so ordinary level that dont deserve to be so over-advertised. i got a so ordinary l1r5 that is so ordinary. my HIGHER CHINESE was SO ordinary that it became EXTRAordinary. i simply LOVE my result slip that i wouldn't bear to take it out from my bag to SHOW other people. to hell with that.

yesterday chatted with 2 of my frens and i talked about the stupid life of ours again. i dont think i will want to mention here. becos not everyone will agree what i say and i will in the end build a 'barrier' between me and those who dont agree with me.

so everyday goes on as usual. lots of thanks to those who wished me goodluck b4 the o lvls and taking of o lvl results.

the person in front of me is an idiot who keep lifting his optical mouse when using it.. projecting the red beam straight into my eyes. 5 minutes to civics class abd then i will be dismissed after that. yeah.

Almost every sec 4 04 people blog i see is full of o lvl stuff.. looks like mon is really a big day.. wad i am disgusted is that TJ actually has lessons till 10.30 on that day and full time-table on tues while VJ has no sch on mon and celebration on tues??!?!? siao!

only a few jc have lessons on the each day on tues and mon, if not only a few lessons. haix dunno wad tj doing.. they teach damn fast. i think they planing to use dragon cohord to push their results sia.

monday monday monday coming out of mouths of everyone.. wad if there is no monday in the gregorian calender? lolx wad i talking about. =)

listening to "love is blue" by paul mauriat. nice song sia. no lyrics yet so nice haha.

today no mushy entry! yeah! hurray! lolx

o lvl results coming... but my mind is full of wad may happen that day.. people screaming.. crying.. laughing.. and i guess i will be expressionless. Questions and questions keep flying thru my mind.. wad will she do? if she still have the sad sad face i really dunno wad to say..

Hesitation perharps. She and i alike, most likely to love and if lost nvr to love again. but she is worried. she doesnt trust guys.. and dont wanna be hurt. thats why she's hesitating.. How am i going to tell her i am going to love her forever and to take care of her all my life and how im i gonna tell her she is the only thing in the world that i cannot live w/o.. mushy eek. but its true.

looking at the state i am now.. i really dunno how to face her. haha. though people say love transcends all but i cannot take the risk.. but anyway i found something that can get back my skin colour. and my hair is in a deep shit. i compare with those good looking guys in my sch haix. i look like a smashed cabbage.

i wish everyone who is nervous about their o lvl results gd luck(doesnt include losers like those 6-pters in VJ and RJ and HC) and hope they will all get gd grades. go to their dream college and find happiness in this meaningless world. :p

My advice to everyone is to think far ahead.. dont waste time doing hw/tutorials, making the wrong friends.. taking the wrong phone calls.. participating in ccas.. Find wad is the meaning of life for your case and tell urself wad u will do seriously. for eg. "I WANT TO MAKE AS MUCH FRENS AS POSSIBLE IN THIS WORLD!" is quite a dumb meaning of life as true frens need as much fate as finding true love.

I have my best of best frens from AHS 4C/04 and [AC]² and i think they are all the frens i would ever need in this world :) mushy too haha.

=)

so tired. though today is the earliest day i got home (5.40pm) (z.z) mon wad 8pm, tuse 8pm, wed 8.30pm and thurs 11pm. compy today. haix though our speed was shittiest of all, we manage to scrape thru to the finals! yippeee. we was the last finalist haha. means sunday we have to run first. nvm i will set a goal for those pros to catch up haha =)

so tmr is more training. we will be going to AHS to train cos they have new tracks and they dont mind =) (lim pin asked tan tai ha for that.)

next friday or next next mon will be getting o lvl results back lol. almost everyone is worried abt that. i only worry abt my face hahaha call me vain! then that day.. i finally get to see someone..... been months..

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student.
1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days. days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days. days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days. days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days days left 81.
7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days. days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness atleast 3 days. remaining days 3.
10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?" Balance days 0
"How can a student pass ?????"


i got this from one guy's signature in the TJ forums =) omg im stealing ideas hahaha. anyway when u took a first look at this u will thing "hey its true wad" but u will soon realise that eating, talking, sleeping and holidays are not overlapping sets! =) maths woohoo! i mean that dont u sleep in holidays? or dont u talk during holidays? or dont u talk while sleep? lolx ignore the last question =x
haha i nothing much to do also la.

so sad today 2 people who know me quite long liao in tj asked me "Dont mind me asking ar.. wad happened to ur face?" haix........ funny thing. they ask when it has recovered abit and not when it's most serious. demoralising leh likdat. make me feel as if nothing's changed. anyway no one know a definite date when we will get back o lvls results yet >.<

happy vday to everyone.. xi wang you qing ren zhong cheng juan shu :p

sigh~

today cca 7.30 finish >.< compy coming =_- sometimes... i feel really wierd.. things really wierd.. very wierd... wierd.. hai.......................

nothing much to say.

when i free i'll write a story..

hot hot weather.. im sick liao. sore throat and flu sigh... slept whole day sigh.. tmr vday.. sigh. tmr need to stay back for v late becos compy coming sigh..

sigh...

hw sigh...

........ sigh...................

o lvl results sigh...

sigh.

Many people ask whats a de ja vu.. i have alot of them =x. It is a situation where the scene u are in now resembles an exact replicate or close to exact replicate of ur memory(where u had no idea where it came from).

Some scientists say that is is a kind of mental disorder.. who knows lol. I was in the comp lab then.. then suddenly my C++ program got prob.. i have overwritted another program on my this one.. then when i run it got some funny prob. then i felt the situation so familiar.. even the place.. wierd. Happened alot times at many other places. haix maybe i too stressed le.. i v tired now....... i wan to slp..

just came back from Alpha Innovations. The robot shop haha. compy is next friday.. 18th!! come visit me ar! lol.. who am i talking to lolx. anyway the place is Funan it mall atrium. level 1. hahaz. then my program so gd.. my senior also lose me haix. expected =x

Jian dan ai~

just found out i nvr update my age lolx. nvm not impt though. tmr is like damn early finish and i not going back ahs to haunt people.. so i'll be at home sleeping.. maybe go tamp check some things out.. i need to buy somethings >.<

dont get wrong lolx.... is buy aloe vera gel.. for facez

haiya.. 14th coming zhe me ban???

xin nian kuai le everyone! remember all owe me ang bao for this year next time u all get married must return!! ahaha

i think i too early tamp wont open.. Lol. dont dare 10pm sit bus go tamp.. v dangerous lol.

STupid mass pe instructors. %@^!@$@#^!U$!^! i hired taxi at bedok rovers there so that i wont be late then so suay the uncle dunno where the hell is Temasek Junior College yet know where is Temasek Secondary. i was almost suaned. "Ni du shu bu dong.." then i immediately shone the address that was written behind the orientation booklet right in his face(joking aha).. then i was not late! although i fell out the taxi instead of getting out. then assembly at 1st lecture cos today got CNY fair so the parade sq was used up for tents. my 1st lesson is PE. which means assemble at sports complex. i took like 5 mins to struggle there. then when i put my bag at my class pple there( top stairs) then the instructor shout.. tell us get down in 20 secs.. then i 1st time ma.. dunno sick need to go down or not. then when he count to 10 i then overheard sick need to get down also.. then i struggle down(top stairs.. i took 3 secs each step) so it is so obvious i couldnt make it.. i tot i sick will excuse but the stupid asshole say down 20. wtf. then i explain to my pe teacher she still say down 20.. she said "do slowly so wont sweat." its not the sweat that worsen my acne lor. its i use my muscle my acne will bleed la. stupid ***.

do i did 20 pumping at super speed cos i've been using more of my hands than legs to move ard this few days.. i gotta grab the cupboard grab the door frame.. push the bed.. to move ard cos my legs couldnt do a thing. my hands become v strong wahaha. then nvm.. then he notice that i last week didnt go.. he ask why i say i on mc.. then he want me show.. wad the.. isnt the CT suppose to inform them? wtf. so disorganised. then again he want my excuse letter.. wth. die liao la i realise i gave the original copies to my CT(civics tutor aka form teacher) lucky i got photostat the wednesday, thurs and friday one and kept at home..

then i have a hard time sitting down ma.. then that instructor told me to stand up b4 he asked me for my reason and MC. then when i sitting down 3/4 he tell me take out ezlink card. i dunno need for wad at 1st ma.. so i took out and wishing he will look at me as i raised my hand with the ezlink card towards him while i squarting.. he nvr look down i tot is ask us prepare ezlink card later collect or wad.. so i put it on the floor and use my both hands to sit.. cos vv pain. the he so zhun turn back and said "ezlink card" then he say "dont put ezlink card on the floor! later u lose it or wad.." dotx.... i was still trying to sit lor.. then he back away 2 steps and ask me pass him. wtf. so again i struggle to stand up... 1/3 of the year ones are all behind me lor. then i pass liao go back struggle to sit again. later then i know ezlink card is for those couldnt do pe then they dont want us to run away or wad. so collect after pe ends. z........

wad happend after sch is the previous entry..

After 79 days which seemed like 79 millennium.. i finally saw someone today. but that person didnt see me! haha that was like lucky. i know i abit selfish la.. see people dont let people see.. but u know hor.. if i let that person see now then i woudl have done quite a bad thing cos my face so hideous ma. ard 20 days more to deadline - the day where have to go back take results. i think my face will be abit worse than the state b4 o lvl ends but still at least look like normal person..

so.. it was 1.39:21.. 1.39:22.. 1.39:23.. 1.39:24..pm i was on the 3rd storey haha. then 40 m down is that person with yi dui ren. haha... lucky my physics tutor delay abit (supposed to be 1.30 dismiss) otherwise i would have been at the canteen, where they are heading for, waiting for daryl to return some money he owed(1 million USD). (kidding.. lolx 40 cents). so my legs are like shit.. then i use fone called daryl and he said he is at canteen. haix. danger danger zone.. so i tell daryl suan le lol then i went out of sch thru the back gate where they came from. haha if that person see this entry i will be dead lolx. cos its so obvious im refering to that person.

so that is why i decided not to go back ahs again.. i went home haha. love is a wonderful thing that kills ;$ haha as my msn nick goes.. dying to see but dead if seen nevertheless i saw.

Today had student council-student dialogue. After smoe questions then one guy said "after we get our o lvl results, not JAE, which is on.. i think 21st of feb.

21st of feb...... if so close i think i really die. first thing i v scared to see my results.. maybe i cant even promote to jc cos i fail english? haha. yaya pessimistic wadever. even if i pass english i may not have done well enough to get into vj. but anyway that doesnt matter now =) weeeee!

So if really 21st feb... here are my estimated results..

English : D7-B3 (quite large a rangeg i know,, all depends cambridge like my story or not.)

HCL : B4-A2
Emaths: A1
Amaths: B3-A1
Chem : B4-A1
PHysics : A1
Combine humans : C6-B3
Geog : B4-A2

So. lolx.. if take the middle of those which are uncertain..
i will have a l1r5 of.... 3+1+2+2+1+3 = 12 which is......... CRAP!

Anyway.. xin nian kuai dao le! Guo xin nian~ zu xin nian~ xin nian dao~! nian lian nian~~! Ang BAo Money $$$$$$$$$ and lots of things to eat yeah!!!

Well.. somethings are really looking gd now.. while my physical condition still is a pile of.. sheet. =) Jc life abit tough.. quite tiring. feel like studying arts and get owned. haha. but arts people everyday so early finish!!!zzz

anyway.. if my l1r5 really 12 i will surely tio suan by my family.. cos my elder bro got 7 w/o sweat. aiya. at most go serangoon jc loxl.

hope my face get well soon! and so i can get things going again... i really miss someone. ya i know love suppose to be so wei da.. no matter how u look or something likdat.. but still hor.. appearance do matter de la.. although dont matter for me.. who knows it matters to her or not? i nvr told her. doubt sshe will come to see my blog also la. she also dunno. haha..

once again.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Guo xin nian~ zu xin nian~ xin nian dao~! nian lian nian~~! Ang BAo Money $$$$$$$$$ and lots of things to eat yeah!!!

weeeeeeee so happi today yeah!!!! yippeeeeeeeee!

Everytime i wake up from my slumber i will stare at the celing. It's not that i want to.. i have no choice. With my current situation i cant turn my body on bed. So the past few days i have been laying on my bed in a one and only position -- facing straight towards the ceiling. When i woke up this morning, i cant get up as usual. i would have to first pull my legs to a 90-degree by pulling the ends of my short pants, then use my hands to push my body up. It's so painful that i thought that i shld have placed my handphone under my pillow so i can call an ambulance suan le. After i have finished my breakfast and popped in 3 pills of painkillers my legs are ok after 1 hour. In that 1 hour i was reading LOTR book. Im a slow reader haix.

Yesterday saw a doc. Gave meonly 2 days MC..... So tmr i have to go sch #!@%!. Then the docs say most likely is the drug for my acne -- isotretinion that caused the joints and muscle aches.. where got suay. So i stopped my acne medication for the time being -.-

ALOT HW HAHA. and i missed a whole lot of tutorials and lectures. i think i gonna get owned by my teacher tmr lolx. Meanwhile i can still sit w/o pain, i will play some computer games haha. When the pain comes i would afk and return to the Fellowship of the Ring. =)

Seriously, i think my life gonna end soon... Im speaking about a guy who was damn unluckly from last half of the year till now. Now, i got a serious leg problem. i cant get up from my bed w/o me using my hands to push myself up until my body and legs are in a straight line.. then i will try to balance myself by playing my cg around with my hands.. and if i am really tilting too much i would quickly rush to the nearest hand support.. and its freaking painful. WAlking ard the house already like hell. IMAGINE IM IN TJ. Another serious problem is climbing and going down of steps. Pain... Pain Pain Pain. When going down the steps.... esp the SBS bus one.. when i drop from the bus to the real ground.. i will have to struggle using a few more steps forward b4 i can stablize myself.

Enough of legs. Then is my acne. Cant be any suayer. Cant a guy with acne SIT IN A CANTEEN ALONE FOR 2 HOURS LISTENING TO MP3 AND DOING HW? I DONT HAVE ANY LESSONS. WHILE MY AHS FRIENDS HAD ALL DIFF COMBI(COS I TAKE COMPUTING). THAT $%!@%^!@$!@$ SCH COUNSELLOR COME AND TALK TO ME.... THEN TALK ALOT CRAP........ THEN ASK ME TODAY GO SEE HER. SAW LE. TALK MORE CRAP. THEN NEED TO SEE HER AGAIN. BEAR IN MIND I AM NOT AT ALL AP WHEN TALKING TO HER. I THINK IM THE NICEST STUDENT COS IF IT WAS OTHERS SHE WILL BE %@#%!@$!@$. THEN SHE WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN. IM TOO HANDSOME.

SHE THOUGHT THAT BECOS OF MY FACE I DONT TALK TO MIX ARD. SHE SAYS THATS BAD BECOS PEOPLE NEXT TIME WILL AVOID ME. LEAVE ME ALONE BLAH BLAH BLAH. LIKE I CARE. I DONT NEED THEM AS MY FRIENDS. I GOT ALL THE FRIENDS I NEED IN THE WORLD ALREADY. SO $@!%@!%. THEN SHE DIE DIE V K PO. I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE. MY MISTAKE GIVE HER HP NO. IM GONNA IGNORE HER LIAO. SHE STILL TALK CORK TELL ME DONT CHANGE JC. LOL???? I BLOW UP TJ SEE NEED TO CHANGE OR NOT LA.

SORRY HEADACHE. THATS WHY ALL CAPS. YA. ANOTHER THING IS HEADACHE. I TODAY AT CHEM ALMOST DIED. MY EYES COULDNT FOCUS. I THINK SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH MY BODY.

I think im going to die. Pessimistic? no. Im just preparing for the worse. If i die someday, and someone read this blog. Pls contact my [ac]² frens and tell them to tell someone that i haha.. love that someone..

BUT IM NOT GONNA DIE! I NEED A BREAK zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

-Overload.

Seriously, i think my life gonna end soon... Im speaking about a guy who was damn unluckly from last half of the year till now. Now, i got a serious leg problem. i cant get up from my bed w/o me using my hands to push myself up until my body and legs are in a straight line.. then i will try to balance myself by playing my cg around with my hands.. and if i am really tilting too much i would quickly rush to the nearest hand support.. and its freaking painful. WAlking ard the house already like hell. IMAGINE IM IN TJ. Another serious problem is climbing and going down of steps. Pain... Pain Pain Pain. When going down the steps.... esp the SBS bus one.. when i drop from the bus to the real ground.. i will have to struggle using a few more steps forward b4 i can stablize myself.

Enough of legs. Then is my acne. Cant be any suayer. Cant a guy with acne SIT IN A CANTEEN ALONE FOR 2 HOURS LISTENING TO MP3 AND DOING HW? I DONT HAVE ANY LESSONS. WHILE MY AHS FRIENDS HAD ALL DIFF COMBI(COS I TAKE COMPUTING). THAT $%!@%^!@$!@$ SCH COUNSELLOR COME AND TALK TO ME.... THEN TALK ALOT CRAP........ THEN ASK ME TODAY GO SEE HER. SAW LE. TALK MORE CRAP. THEN NEED TO SEE HER AGAIN. BEAR IN MIND I AM NOT AT ALL AP WHEN TALKING TO HER. I THINK IM THE NICEST STUDENT COS IF IT WAS OTHERS SHE WILL BE %@#%!@$!@$. THEN SHE WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN. IM TOO HANDSOME.

SHE THOUGHT THAT BECOS OF MY FACE I DONT TALK TO MIX ARD. SHE SAYS THATS BAD BECOS PEOPLE NEXT TIME WILL AVOID ME. LEAVE ME ALONE BLAH BLAH BLAH. LIKE I CARE. I DONT NEED THEM AS MY FRIENDS. I GOT ALL THE FRIENDS I NEED IN THE WORLD ALREADY. SO $@!%@!%. THEN SHE DIE DIE V K PO. I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE. MY MISTAKE GIVE HER HP NO. IM GONNA IGNORE HER LIAO. SHE STILL TALK CORK TELL ME DONT CHANGE JC. LOL???? I BLOW UP TJ SEE NEED TO CHANGE OR NOT LA.

SORRY HEADACHE. THATS WHY ALL CAPS. YA. ANOTHER THING IS HEADACHE. I TODAY AT CHEM ALMOST DIED. MY EYES COULDNT FOCUS. I THINK SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH MY BODY.

I think im going to die. Pessimistic? no. Im just preparing for the worse. If i die someday, and someone read this blog. Pls contact my [ac]² frens and tell them to tell someone that i haha.. love that someone..

BUT IM NOT GONNA DIE! I NEED A BREAK zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

-Overload.

Im eating 3 pills of this everyday!

DESCRIPTION
Isotretinoin, a retinoid, is available as Accutane in 10-mg, 20-mg and 40-mg soft gelatin capsules for oral administration. Each capsule contains beeswax, butylated hydroxyanisole, edetate disodium, hydrogenated soybean oil flakes, hydrogenated vegetable oil, and soybean oil. Gelatin capsules contain glycerin and parabens (methyl and propyl), with the following dye systems: 10 mg — iron oxide (red) and titanium dioxide; 20 mg — FD&C Red No. 3, FD&C Blue No. 1, and titanium dioxide; 40 mg — FD&C Yellow No. 6, D&C Yellow No. 10, and titanium dioxide. Chemically, isotretinoin is 13-cis-retinoic acid and is related to both retinoic acid and retinol (vitamin A). It is a yellow to orange crystalline powder with a molecular weight of 300.44. The structural formula is:

Yeah so happy today! Yeah! yeah! lolz.........

hari raya holiday rox! though i stay whole day at home sigh~ lol. Avril Lavigne rox! yeahhhh! yeahhhhhhh!

Dont call Hougang institute of mental health pls. =) Haven done a single hw yaeeh! Today go watch movies yeahh!

yeah!!
yeah!!
yeeahh!

When u are happy just say..... YEAH!
NO! DONT TOUCH THAT PHONE!

Got surprise today!! Timetable out!! YEAH TUTORIALS ARE HERE =) Then the real timetable started today 3rd period lol..

I love the person who made my subject group's timetable! (im being sarcastic here)
Note the empty periods for me and time i get dismiss everyday!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/siaogib/haix.jpg

This week no tutorials again... They say time table not finalised haha. I see alot people pia hw liao.. find it stupid as some really just want to do ahead nia.. What's the point so fast finish? later u forget in 2 years time then it would be meaningless.. i think we shld do accordingly as time passes.. pay attention in lectures and tutorials and we will be fine.. Lectures and tutorials are impt as sometimes teacher got teach something extra which is not inside the notes and assignments which may help us understand the topics better.

Anyway tmr got cca.. then thurs got hospital appointment. Friday then holiday wee..

As for the part 2 of the lie thingy i think i dont write le.. What's the point rite? It wont make the world have one less liar.. But i can tell u liars normally lie to get an edge over other people.. some for pride.. some for money.. etc, while some lies can save lives and remove agony from someone.. thats different already. sorry for crap grammar.. i dont think need to be so formal rite? =p

wishing the world a better place.

The other bad me. i need help getting rid of him

Warning... For those who will get offended by religious beliefs of others pls do not read beyond this line.
I am "I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you."/"WHAT IS LIFE?" A msn conversation below shows the other me which my frenss finds it v frustrating to deal with.

qw: I LOVE U! says:
yay
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
?

Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL has been added to the conversation.

I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
yay
qw: I LOVE U! says:
yay
qw: I LOVE U! says:
yay
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
..
qw: I LOVE U! says:
u mean u dunno ah?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
lolx
qw: I LOVE U! says:
so happy
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
~
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
SG won
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
how i know u happy over what..
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
nothing makes me happy except.....
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
dying
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
=)
qw: I LOVE U! says:
...
qw: I LOVE U! says:
sumthing happened again?
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
no
qw: I LOVE U! says:
chey
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
nothing happened
qw: I LOVE U! says:
then dun anyhow say die la
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
thats why
qw: I LOVE U! says:
...
qw: I LOVE U! says:
come on...sg can win tiger cup
qw: I LOVE U! says:
there's still hope in life
qw: I LOVE U! says:
lolx
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
...........
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
wt:beep: has that to do with life?
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
WHAT IS LIFE?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
even the sun can rise from the east
qw: I LOVE U! says:
means miracles can happen
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
who needs miracles
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
whats meant to be meant to be
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
what is to be to be
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i tink we should be the one deciding our own fate
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
ok
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
let's :beep: miss chan upside down
qw: I LOVE U! says:
...
qw: I LOVE U! says:
dun talk abt her leh
qw: I LOVE U! says:
spoil my mood
qw: I LOVE U! says:
lolx
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
if u want to decide ur own fate
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
why believe in buddhism?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i'm not a buddhist
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
then wad religion u having now?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i'm a taoist
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
ok taoist
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
every religion believes theres a supreme controling man
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
has power over them
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
u think u can have fate?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
my belief in religion has nth to do wif my thinking of life
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
what the.........................................................................
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
religion is a thinking of life leh
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i'm not really into the religion..i'm more into the philosopy
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
a thinking of how life works
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
do you know philosopy and religion nvr cross their paths?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
no
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but haha..y should i noe?
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
ya u dunno and u believe in religion -_- no wonder so many :beep:
qw: I LOVE U! says:
aiya sumtimes ah we should not tink abt so much la
qw: I LOVE U! says:
just be happy can liaox
qw: I LOVE U! says:
haha
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
follow the crowd
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
z
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
let them decide
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
sick of this shit life
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
WHAT IS LIFE?
I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you. says:
z
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i say le..its up to u to decide wat life is
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
im not that self-centered.. not everything is abt ourselves
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i dun mean self centered la..i mean everyone has their own preception of wat life is
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
and who's correct?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
there is no clear defintion of life
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u say one ar?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
y should u noe whether its correct or not
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
dont have clear then no need find?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
just believe in urself
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
Cos im living it
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
im living on LIFE
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
yyet i dont know what it is?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
isnt it a shame?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
why do u haf to live on life?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
why cant u live A life?
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
.
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
....
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
.....
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
oei are u human or not
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
do you have LIFE?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
have rite?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i haf
qw: I LOVE U! says:
haha
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then dont u want to know more about what is LIFE?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
its like u are a human and u dont want to know what is in ur body
qw: I LOVE U! says:
haha...i say liaox..sumtimes we dun haf to tink so much
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
"its unclear" i just know there's somthing inside help me digest
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
lol then think what?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
games? oppo sex?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
homework?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
school?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
they all fall under LIFE
qw: I LOVE U! says:
haha...yup true
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but if u keep tinking abt wat is life for the whole of ur life wun u be wasting ur life?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
haha...maybe i cant ans ur question after all....
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but i tink simple
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i dun tink so deep
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
eh
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
i dun even know what i am wasting u thikn i will care if i waste it?
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
maths is 3 or 4 sig figures
qw: I LOVE U! says:
3?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i only noe chem is 3
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
sci is 3
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
maths leh
qw: I LOVE U! says:
the tcher forever stress 3
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
if 4 all my answrs wrong
qw: I LOVE U! says:
o lvl is 3
qw: I LOVE U! says:
a lvl i dunno
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
..
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
maths leh
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
not sci
qw: I LOVE U! says:
tot maths oso?
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
~
qw: I LOVE U! says:
aiya dun ask me la
qw: I LOVE U! says:
lolx
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
...
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
z
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
gay
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
dont do maths
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
tell ur teacher i tell u not to
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
diam
qw: I LOVE U! says:
lolx...y not?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
cos its meaningless
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
you don't do lor
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
they dont even know what LIFE is
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
then you tell me
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
im not doing
qw: I LOVE U! says:
...
qw: I LOVE U! says:
aiya y do u want to noe wat life is
qw: I LOVE U! says:
so wat if u noe le?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
why cant i not know it?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
will it change the way u are living now?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
how do u know if i haven even try?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
breaking barriers and limits teachers taught us not?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but if u noe wat life is, u haf to continue living, if u dunno wat life is, u still haf to continue living mah
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
its like a grandma is about to get knocked down by an incoming truck and u are at the roadside. ur life goes on whether u save her or not.
qw: I LOVE U! says:
yup true
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but u will either live happiy or live a guilty conscience
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
same for knowing Life.. u either live a meaningless life or u live a life with purpose and reason known
qw: I LOVE U! says:
true
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
imagine u on a death bed now
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u are dying... (imagine)
qw: I LOVE U! says:
then?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then u think of what have u really done this life
qw: I LOVE U! says:
ya
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
studying... playing... does it matter? when u die everything is gone
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ur love ones, ur enemies ur frens
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but u dun haf to noe wat life is b4 u can live meaningfully
qw: I LOVE U! says:
yup its true when u die everything is gone
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but u leave good memories for urself and all those tt are still living
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ok so u tell me how meaningful life can get?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
it depends on wat u haf done in ur life
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
when u die ur brain cells decay after there is no more blood and oxygen the memories are gone too
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but they stay wif the living pple
qw: I LOVE U! says:
the term 'meaningful' is oso decided by urself
qw: I LOVE U! says:
eg for u once u noe wat life is u may tink ur life is meaningful laiox
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
no
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if i know the truth about life and its bo liao its bo liao
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then i die straightaway
qw: I LOVE U! says:
for pple like say.......tan tock seng..he will tink his life is meaningful when he could save so many pple
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
but why save people?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
is LIFE that good?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
What if..
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
What if.. life is a bullshit and is nothing but a game by so called gods?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
wouldnt u want to end this game quickly and to stop being played by them
qw: I LOVE U! says:
y should u care if the so called gods who are playing wif u or not
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
cos they are playing ME
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if ms :beep: is a god
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i tink tt to be able to live is something good liaox...
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
she maake u in love with :beep:
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then make her purposely have another bf
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u dont care about it?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
pls...life is not abt just loving someone
qw: I LOVE U! says:
its part of it, but not totally
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ok
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then if ms :beep: is a god
qw: I LOVE U! says:
so wat if :beep: doesnt love me?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
she makes u a soccer player
qw: I LOVE U! says:
there are so many other pple on earth who love me
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then in world cup finals
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
singapore 0-0 and in the 90mins
qw: I LOVE U! says:
or the very basic, i love myself
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
she make u score a own goal?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
y do u tink its the gods who make u score own goal?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
it could be a mistake on my own part
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
why would the ball be crossed by the opponent and so zhun he want to aim ur leg?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
well no one in this world would want to score an own goal..
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if u ask me that qns u are denying such thing as luck, fate wadsoever
qw: I LOVE U! says:
its just too bad i'm standing at the wrong part of the field at tt moment of time
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
means everyone can decide his own fate
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
too bad?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
ya can say tt
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
too bad means unlucky?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
no la
qw: I LOVE U! says:
it was my mistake to stand at tt part, so too bad lor
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then what about a family who placed a bet that that match will draw.. then becos of own goal at 90min they have 0 money left.. the children starve to death in a corner unoticed, after 1 month
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
too bad?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
again tts a mistake on the family
qw: I LOVE U! says:
y gamble?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ok.
qw: I LOVE U! says:
y not get a job and work?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u think they dont want?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
why:
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
why somepeople born then is bill gate's child
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
while some born in a family got less than 10 cents
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
too bad?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
mistake on choosing mothers?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
hey im a sperm man
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
i think i shld fertilise this egg and become a infant
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
come out liao then say "Shit la.. poor family"
qw: I LOVE U! says:
does it mean tt if u are born in bill gates family u will be rich too?does it mean tt if u are born in a poor family u wil be poor forever
qw: I LOVE U! says:
?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
i tell u hor
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if u are bill gates child hor
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can use money to remove ms :beep: from MOE immediately
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but tts not the correct thing to do
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can buy any amount of MX Studioi u want to the club room
qw: I LOVE U! says:
the correct thing to do is to fight for a better acac urself
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u dcan buy a club room
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can buy a club building
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can buy a club city
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
whatever u like
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
too baD?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but so wat if u get a club city?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
if the acac pple are shitty even if u get a club universe acac will still fall
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can buy technicians and programmers
qw: I LOVE U! says:
its up to the members themselves to decide whether to make acac successful or not
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ok
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
~
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then i want u dont chap acac forever
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
dont even talk a single shit to them
qw: I LOVE U! says:
ok
qw: I LOVE U! says:
say if i dun talk a single shit to them
qw: I LOVE U! says:
then their proposal is successful and they get a clubrm and software
qw: I LOVE U! says:
will they be successful if they continue their currect attitude now?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if they dont mind why shld u?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
do you want to play god?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
cos i'm a member to acac too
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i cant solve their problems
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but i can help
qw: I LOVE U! says:
if its within my means
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if u are bill gate's son
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can help alot
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u can finish university studies by now
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
and u got lots of time to help tem
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
them
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
24/7
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
isnt that great?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
if i'm bill gates son, can i make acac members be hardworking and get them to win compeitions?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
how can i finish uni studies?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ya u can have more time
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i still haf to go thru 16 yrs of studies
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
cos he can hire the professors to teach u since 5 years old
qw: I LOVE U! says:
2 yrs of ns, and 4 yrs of uni
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then by 15 u finish all u need to know for that subject
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u dont have to
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u are bill gates son
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but how can they help me if i'm slacking and lazy?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
who ask u to be slackign?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
does it means u are rich then u can slack?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
so back to my pt, its up to the individual themselves
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ya
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
then why u chap?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if they dun wanna change
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
no matter how u help they would change
qw: I LOVE U! says:
but i still try my best
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i can help, y not?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i help is my own business, they slack is their own business
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if u put it this way u shld not waste ur precious life
qw: I LOVE U! says:
my life isnt precious
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i help others if i can
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
they why dont help me find meaning of LIFE
qw: I LOVE U! says:
y keep all the knowledge to myself when i can spread the knowledge
qw: I LOVE U! says:
i dun haf the knowledge how to help u
qw: I LOVE U! says:
haha
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
so what u have knowledge?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u bring them to grave one day
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
so what it passes on?
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
next generation and next
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
...
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
gib you got fever bo
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
no
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
idol fever?
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
Thikn you got
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ahhhhhhhhhh~~
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
you don't be psychologist
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
think you'll ask people to suicide more than me
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
i want to be theorician
qw: I LOVE U! says:
well u haf ur own ambition
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
theologist
qw: I LOVE U! says:
so work towards it
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
yes im working towards it
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
cant u see?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
isnt tt wat u are living for now?
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
4C
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
woot
Apparent complexity, underlying simplicity. [ Alpha Leonis ] SG won. LOL says:
3 more QA TO GO
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
Im not living for that
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
im finding why im living
qw: I LOVE U! says:
so u are living to find y u are living
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
if u put a Why in front of every taughts u have
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
thoughts
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
u will catch up with me
qw: I LOVE U! says:
well i dun see the need to
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
so u telling me stop finding why im living and tell me jump out straight thru that 15by15cm hole to the open air?
qw: I LOVE U! says:
nope...everyone has their own ambitions
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
ok nvm
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
dont talk to me
qw: I LOVE U! says:
...
qw: I LOVE U! says:
anyway i gtg too
qw: I LOVE U! says:
bye
qw: I LOVE U! says:
have a nice daY~
WHAT IS LIFE? says:
bb