lazy bones

I don't know.. 

After 2-3weeks of zuo bo-ing at home. 

I suddenly feel very sian. 

My interest for new games like RA3 and Call of Duty: World at War can only last for one mission worth of time in the games.

Perhaps it's because I'm playing all these alone. 

Sad life..

It's funny.. how targets in games can be set so easily compared to real life. "To reach level xx by x days" Purpose is clear, methodology vivid. Sometimes i wonder how life is similar to games. For games, you know sooner or later you will stop playing the game, but yet you would still put in every time and effort to make everything right, while you are still playing the game. Life certainly is not forever, and yet you see SO much effort is put by different people trying to live better, trying to earn more money, trying to persuade people, trying to try things, trying to be DIFFERENT. 

We are all the same. We are stubborn - stubborn for hope, and that makes us human. We know we will die anyway, but deep down inside we hope we wouldn't. At least not our spiritual soul anyway. 

When we break up with somebody, we hope they would return. When we are poor, we hope we have enough money to get by. When we are down on our luck, we hope that the next thing to happen is luck. When we are being raped by qingwei, we hope we can rape him back.

When one loses hope, he/she hopes that things would just end.

Whoever who gives hope to people, gives people 'lives'. 'Lives' perceived by human's as good, because they hope that living is good. If i were to tell you there makes no difference between your existence and non-existence, you wouldn't mind not living. 

Sometimes 'life' is not as good as people think it is, they start to blame 'life' for being bad. "I have a bad 'life' and there is nothing i can do with it." It's most unfortunate but in actual sense, one could say that the person's 'life' is not what he/she hoped for, and therefore wouldn't mind not living.

If we were just entities in this world, in computing sense, then i think hope and life are codes that humans can't do without. They are the guardians for the for or while loops. In actual fact, they are more like the brackets in the loop. It ensures that humans do what they do until their time is out - alas, the argument of 'duration less than x' no longer hold true.

Yes, while we are living, we may get to see a few other such brackets, or hope, that keeps us occupied doing specific things. One who sees hope in gambling, does gambling over and over again, until the specific time where he/she falls out of the for/while loop, in triump or defeat. 

Humans are all the same. Data or as we term them as "memories" get passed from one human to another, and get flushed when forgotten/overwritten - 'broken pointers' in computer terms. Humans are the same. When their time is up, when they are done, they get deleted or flushed. If there is a need, a new entity would take over his/her previous responsibillities.

Ok.. im just very bored and didn't feel like playing any games, so i write all these for fun.

I'm off hoping to be a more happy entity for now!