happy 4th birthday

my blog is 4 years old! omg im so old.

Love Languages

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Physical Touch:		8
Words of Affirmation:		6
Acts of Service:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

lazy bones

I don't know.. 

After 2-3weeks of zuo bo-ing at home. 

I suddenly feel very sian. 

My interest for new games like RA3 and Call of Duty: World at War can only last for one mission worth of time in the games.

Perhaps it's because I'm playing all these alone. 

Sad life..

It's funny.. how targets in games can be set so easily compared to real life. "To reach level xx by x days" Purpose is clear, methodology vivid. Sometimes i wonder how life is similar to games. For games, you know sooner or later you will stop playing the game, but yet you would still put in every time and effort to make everything right, while you are still playing the game. Life certainly is not forever, and yet you see SO much effort is put by different people trying to live better, trying to earn more money, trying to persuade people, trying to try things, trying to be DIFFERENT. 

We are all the same. We are stubborn - stubborn for hope, and that makes us human. We know we will die anyway, but deep down inside we hope we wouldn't. At least not our spiritual soul anyway. 

When we break up with somebody, we hope they would return. When we are poor, we hope we have enough money to get by. When we are down on our luck, we hope that the next thing to happen is luck. When we are being raped by qingwei, we hope we can rape him back.

When one loses hope, he/she hopes that things would just end.

Whoever who gives hope to people, gives people 'lives'. 'Lives' perceived by human's as good, because they hope that living is good. If i were to tell you there makes no difference between your existence and non-existence, you wouldn't mind not living. 

Sometimes 'life' is not as good as people think it is, they start to blame 'life' for being bad. "I have a bad 'life' and there is nothing i can do with it." It's most unfortunate but in actual sense, one could say that the person's 'life' is not what he/she hoped for, and therefore wouldn't mind not living.

If we were just entities in this world, in computing sense, then i think hope and life are codes that humans can't do without. They are the guardians for the for or while loops. In actual fact, they are more like the brackets in the loop. It ensures that humans do what they do until their time is out - alas, the argument of 'duration less than x' no longer hold true.

Yes, while we are living, we may get to see a few other such brackets, or hope, that keeps us occupied doing specific things. One who sees hope in gambling, does gambling over and over again, until the specific time where he/she falls out of the for/while loop, in triump or defeat. 

Humans are all the same. Data or as we term them as "memories" get passed from one human to another, and get flushed when forgotten/overwritten - 'broken pointers' in computer terms. Humans are the same. When their time is up, when they are done, they get deleted or flushed. If there is a need, a new entity would take over his/her previous responsibillities.

Ok.. im just very bored and didn't feel like playing any games, so i write all these for fun.

I'm off hoping to be a more happy entity for now!

my ORD.

*melodious beep tone~*

I'm awaken by my handphone alarm at 5.30am, just realising that i only slept 3 hours ago.

The night before I had many thoughts in mind. Mainly because the next day is my ord.

The next thing i knew, i was already on my way to the bus stop in my civilian clothes.

On the way there, i began to recollect all the experience I had during these 2 years, the good and the bad, and how did they changed my life. Whether if im posted to unit (41 SAR) instead, having different people as buddies, would I change? For better or worse? Thinking of how our lives shape us to be who we are. I'm lucky to say that I'm still meeting the right people.. i guess.. haha.

I reached my bunk only to found out that my bed and cupboard is already occupied by someone else. The best thing is that.. my cupboard lock has been changed to someone else's. Then where are my precious things? The most important thing i recall leaving inside is my course photograph at the taipei tao yuan international airport. I immediately looked into the thrash bag in the bunk only to find my toothpaste and other thrash inside. I went on to find out who is the one to moved in to my bed and actually broke my lock (it cost at least 5 dollars by the way) and threw all my things away. 

After some asking around, found out it's one of the new people from my dept. He said they just moved in the night before, and thought we ord so they broke our locks(oh great!). He added that he knew that the photograph would mean something and therefore put it somewhere else(where he did not remember). After a trip back to the bunk, he concluded that most likely it has been thrown away with other thrash. (what a welcome back on last day? it's like bad things WILL happen any day in camp.) But i held back my emotions despite being a sentimental(i guess) person, because its my ord and i dont want to spoil the memories.

After some paperwork, at 11.30am, I have officially ORDed by getting my Pink IC back! The guy from the photo of my Pink IC looks so young so different from me. :'(

I was then presented the Certificate of Service, service transcript and testimonial by my CO. Oh, so I'm actually an OUTSTANDING soldier with OUTSTANDING conduct. Great! I should sign on! Like real..

One thing on my testimonial said, "Gibson will continue to excel in any field in the future". That's reassuring.. however I don't know which field to choose.

My buddy has ORDed the day before, so it makes the whole process a little bit more emotional i guess. :'( 

And so i left the camp with some of my friends at 12pm sharp, without looking back at all. When you look back, it's either you can't let go or you have no choice but to go. Therefore I didn't. Because I know it's only good for us to let go and move on to next phase of life for us to be happy, and thus i choose to go.

I have... ORD LOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

with mixed feelings. But i know it's a kind of happiness.

so many things so little time

things to do before uni:

learn guitar

learn piano

learn tennis

decide what to do in life

learn economics

learn statistics

play ra3

play call of duty 5

play grand theft auto 4

play starcraft 2

play diablo 3

watch heroes

watch gossip girl

watch bleach

watch code geass

watch all movies i have

get a job

get a new camera fone

get a laptop

get a new pair of spectacles/contacts

to be continued...