Things to do this super short holiday

1. learn hangeul
2. piano+guitar
3. starcraft
4. module planning >.<

5. clean up/throw away JC stuff

6. get my fitness back

7. sep matters, recommendation letter
8

Edited:

The year is ending, but this year is very different. Things got going, and of course life is turning from great to fantastic.

Sometimes it's not things that are holding us down. It may be us holding on to them too hard.

Cheers and hope next year would be fabulous as well! With SEP coming before i know it.

And soon i have to dig out my 2010 resolution and start making a new one!

:)

happy 6th birthday blog!

haha seriously though, i dun remember the date, and i had always relied on qw's blog's bdae to remind me.

anw blog, may you have many years to go, lol.

It's getting too hot in here.

Today my wife was too hot, but it turned off automatically at several points of my starcraft mania. I checked her(GPU) temperature and was shocked to see an idle 90+ degrees Celsius and peak 105+ degrees Celsius!

I couldnt stand it after several times of auto shut down(my 4850 card has a auto shut down temperature of 110 degree celsius), so i went to service her. took out the heatsink and fan compartment(i swore i took out more than 15 screws) and gave it a thorough clean. Shocked but relieved to see theres a super thick layer of dust choking the fins, blocking airflow from the fan. I was relieved because i think that that is surely the problem.

after assembling everything and played starcraft again, checked the temperatures and they went down to 56 degree celsius idle and 68 degree celsius busy! omfgfg. ok back to playing.

thank you for coming into my life

life is strange. it could have gone any other way, but it had to be this way. i have to be thankful for all the other ways that didnt work out for my life to be this way, right now, at this very moment, with you :)

i hope this stays forever,


even though forever is always too much to ask for.

我要的东西不多，但因为我曾经想要的都得不到，我学会了少期望什么。但是可能因为你而破例，心不碎，隔着一边也没用。我的心会碎吗？

mozart

listen to this when you are tired of songs with overly reused themes and chords!

i love stats

Depending on the context, an independent variable is also known as a "predictor variable," "regressor," "controlled variable," "manipulated variable," "explanatory variable," "exposure variable," and/or "input variable."

A dependent variable is also known as a "response variable," "regressand," "measured variable," "observed variable," "responding variable," "explained variable," "outcome variable," "experimental variable," and/or "output variable."

Source: wikipedia

the only permanent thing in life is change

before:
whole night of 28th july was spent trying to install win 7 itself, where there was always a stuck in the installation after numerous tries. I was too tired and went to sleep with a disabled PC.

Woke up on 30th july feeling energised again, I tried to install win 7 again, getting the same result (stuck at 0% of Expanding windows files).

Found a completely unburned sector(s) on the install disk and became very suspicious. I went on to plug back my old HDD, did a little google, and burned a brand new disk using the Windows 7 USB/DVD download tool. Viola, disk looks perfectly burned now. Even made a bootable USB drive just in case.

10.30am~ish. Elated to see % get past 0... 1..2..3...90..91....99.....100!!!

11am~ish.

there are still much more to be done -- installing important progs and migrating my whole hdd over

[continued]

migrating software i used. dled norton ghost 15 and acronis, but in the end this simple program is all i need.

successfully migrated my most recent HDD. went on to migrate the HDD i had before that (used back in the JC days).

failed many times. went on to do chkdsk several times. realised that chkdsk can actually be done in windows! (provided the drive is not in use of course)

my last try before totally giving up..

success!!

tada!!

(yes you are not mistaken, thats the d2 icon - back in those days where there were no daemon tools, i copied the whole d2 disk to my hdd to act as a play disk/install disk)

Shutdown and removed the ancient HDD.

End product:

Oh my thats like one whole day spent. But definitely worth it. Now i have 3 generations of hard disks in a single hard disk!

Now~ to slowly fill the 2 very empty bars that i have. haha!

- the end -

my last post... before i go for my first ICT

haha. kinda having a little weird feeling now. i guess its a combination of not having anything to do now and a little bit of anxiety for wad may come for ICT. reminds me of the first day of NS.

difference is that i dont have to carry a sdfgdakjhgdds big bag all across the island.

Beacons

It's funny how we would want to share our thoughts yet keep the innermost ones out of everyone's reach. It's such an irony that this archaic blog of mine was named The Sanctuary because in the end most of the time it is actually a 100m range for my rant bullets.

Things around us move on, people too. So what if i remain unchanged, feelings and dedication and all. Would I stay relevant?

I envy practical people. They make decisions and move on. Maybe i dislike them for their trend. Or maybe im just jealous.

I think im just irrelevant in this society.

Outdated values.




People call me pessimistic, but i trust my judgement.
We are losing time all the while,
and we dont have much to dither with false hopes and expectations.

We are aging.
I thought i can just waste my life away doing nothing, but where exactly is this feeling of anxiety coming from?

My future is dim. And there are no lighthouses for me.
No harbour to dock,
I sail away to my distant memories.

You're the only star, in the film I never made.

im super bored

despair

http://www.facebook.com/notes/jansen-ko/letter-to-a-christian-girlfriend/331261178826

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-William Butler Yeats

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?"
- Epicurus

this place sux

i feel sg sux to the core.

it seems like people here(note i didnt mention sg-reans) are so self-absorbed, that complaining about their self-absorbedness, makes me look self-absorbed.

am i supposed to feel sympathetic about people who are so "busy" who can go overseas trips and have fun in camps so much so that they cant accomplish their SUPPOSED tasks?

am i supposed to do all their tasks for them just because i leave more personal time to well, myself? not that i want to, but i dont have the money for such a busy schedule. Even travelling to orchard road everyday just for walks would cost alot of money(from transport fees).

so im being LAZY i guess.

sg sux totally.

and i fking hate to be in super inefficient managements. ARGH!

people whom i want to thank

albom mitch

andrew furmanczyk

currently, this list has only one name, but of course this is not all.

the names that im going to put in here are people who inspired or helped me deeply one way or another. (but sad to say i may somehow forget, so im doing this in case of that:))

things to do: in life

not done, somewhat done, done!

be in love with someone

travel around the world with her

- europe, japan, usa, canada(or somewhere cold)

marry her

start a family

tour with kids

watch the children grow up

be proud of them

retire happily

grow old with the one i love

rest in peace

:)

the black swan

suppose earth was destroyed and a few people managed to hop on to a space shuttle designed for sustainable life in space.

suppose if there are 1 bil bacteria(just a rough figure for simplicity sake) living in an enclosed space, and there is 1:1billion chance that a bacteria would mutate to be able to wipe off humankind easily. now can you realise the significance of such a black swan?

a low probability event that has an extremely heavy consequence.

when i uplorry

its been a very long time since i really blogged about myself and my life. haha. even if one day there is a possibility of me being famous, and have the luck to have a biographer, please please dear biographer, please do note that this blog is more of a target board for my rants and it does not truly reflect my true self! hahaha! cant believe im talking to my 'biographer' now.

but well, let today be an exception to the norm.

okay, on this nice cloudy day (to be considered chilly for this little island of singapore) i went bowling with my stats/chem frens. had quite alot of fun. and i finally get to know how to bowl by adding spin to the ball! u know those kind where e ball seems like dropping into e long kang but manages to spin back into e middle chioness!

haha but now my middle 2 fingers are hurting bad, because while experimenting, i hurt my hand during a time when e ball hit e ground early, with my fingers still inside e ball :'(.

--

i cant believe that i had done really nothing tonight. :'( i wish to be more productive but i want to have fun as well. hmm this problem would be solved if i can find something that i like doing, that will at e same time contribute to my life?

that is something i may never be lucky enough to find in my lifetime!

alright off to sleep, or to perhaps to read some books i have bt'ed!

you all know what to do when things go out of hand haha

CDTL presents

Mental Health First Aid (MHFA)

(An NUS Student Workshop)

Facilitators : Dr Ann-Marie Lew, Clinical Psychologist and Ms Florence Yoo, Counsellor

University Health Centre

Date : 13 & 14 May 2010 (Thursday and Friday)

Time : 9am to 5pm

Venue : Seminar Room 1, CDTL http://www.cdtl.nus.edu.sg/cdtlhome/gettocdtl.htm

Synopsis

Do you know someone with a mental health concern? Do you know someone who has ever encountered a mental health crisis? This 12-hour course is designed to improve your mental health literacy and give you skills to help others who may be developing a mental health concern or may be facing a mental health crisis situation. MHFA was developed by Betty Kitchener and Professor Tony Jorm in Australia, and is under the auspices of the ORYGEN Research Centre at the University of Melbourne

http://www.personalitytest.net/types/descriptions/infp.htm

haha i realised i took this test about 4 or more years ago, and i was INTJ and now im INFP.

i guess people do change a little

update at 4.30am:

i cant believe what i did but i actually repaired my calculator at this unholy hour!! wow thats like so much money and trouble saved.

what happened to my calculator was that since after secondary school the screen has stopped showing the middle line of pixels(at the top row of numbers where it shows your previous actions). that made it incredibly difficult to tell + from the divide sign, and between 8, 9, 6, 3 and 0, completely miss the - sign when i was queuing up operations!

this year, the top line was also gone, that made things really worse.

well today i have had enough and i opened the calculator and miraculously managed to 'debug' the problem, and did some improvisations to my calculator. haha perhaps it may exploded any time, but who cares! well im so happy now! i just hope it still gives me accurate calculations lol!

im running out of songs to play while im studying..

and,

i guess my whole life is a freaking joke.

list v.2010.04.22

ok, this is not a list for wad i have to study, instead it would be wad i want to do in the holidays! haha this will act as a motivation.

- read The Black Swan

- read one of Richard Dawkin's books

- grab a book from each genre of stats to decide where i want to go from here!

to be updated~

coool! perhaps next time ipad liao can expand the pathetic space for bigger keys. imagine if one person buys 4 ipads.. oh i forgot, iPhones are more expensive than ipads ...

To Do list v.03.04.10

SP1201

$%^%$& report

ST2131

tutorial

MA1104:

Lab assignment 4

webcast/tutorial

MA2213:

hw assignment

edmw serious and good read http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2716040&page=2

and sth interesting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csGOJ9IGxQk&feature=player_embedded

human

edit: 29/03/10

i started this post wanting to talk about the lack of human-ity in singapore.

to be precise, i target more specifically the lack of:

scenes of happy children running about on the streets:

they are in schools

smiling faces in the morning:

we dont smile when we experience winzip every 3 mins or so on the MRT

trails, or at least, slight hints of kindness in this polymorphic glob of land human mass:

we could perhaps blame the coagulation of excess and unneeded 'talents'!

of course i have to understand that this is no utopia, this is singapore.

a commercialised nation market where demand are always met with supplies and every entity, including its people capital goods can be put on a price tag.

haha just some random rants while waiting my hp to charge and trying to keep my mind off my unfinished tutorial which is impossible to complete.

i would love to move to some place where i dont have to go to bed everyday thinking yet another day have passed with me doing not the things that i want, and thinking, just thinking, and perhaps too much, that i am simply wasting my life away.

i want to LIVE!! how can i do so?! :'(

humans see humans do

part 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIAoJsS9Ix8&feature=related

part 2:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHuagL7x5Wc&feature=related

perhaps this is how so many people all over the world are being exploited out of our human born traits.

this is how propaganda succeed

list v.2010.3.16

ST2|31 - cheat sheet/tutorial/revision

MA22|3 - lecture/tutorial

SP|201

genus

to infinity and beyond

why do people associated love to fools,

and wealth to the clever?

I had once seeked love,

one that i so wanted,

that i've never gotten.

since there are only 2 paths, one must be correct.

haha, what am i talking about?

as if i have any other way out.

fiukcng tired.

a very tired day. pondered about some decisions i had made.
got done and over with 3 midterms in the hellish week.

realised that cs1101's lecturer is sadistically efficient, posting the mid term test solutions only 1 hour+ after we had left the exam venue. "marking has begun" he said.

too tired to receive the shock that i may not anticipate.
decided not to look at the solutions..

to those supporting me tmr.. <3<3 xiexie xiexie~ cya tmr~

this is wad the lecturer showed us while they collect our exam booklets

ps: couldnt find the original.. this 1 is angmoh version lol

haha as if got time to game now..
they should design one for mugging instead

list v2.0

Things to do before mon (done/70% done/not done) :

ma1104: tutorial, study!

ma2213: finish up assignment today

st2131: tutorial

sp1201: presentation

all i can tink of now

lists

im running out of space for lists, so have to make use of my blogspace haha.

things to do this hols: (done/70% done/not done)

ma2213 - lab assignment 1, homework 1, revision if possible 2

st2131 - tutorial, revision if possible 3.

ma1104 - tutorial, maple lab assignment, revision + PYE if possible.

cs1104 -

guitar - practise

looks alot but i tink its possible. fight kill fight kill fight kill!

"A wrong is a wrong and must be rectified, not justified."

my 1st day of ICT

bad dreams and new uncomfy pillow are not independent events.

today i woke up to a shocking dream :(.

I dreamt i was unfortunately handpicked by s@f to serve reservice in afghanistan.. in the dream my friends and i (yes i know 2 of them) were clueless about how long we are going to stay there! when one of them suggested 2 years, i said "how can it be 2 years? then go one time clear all the ICTs liao" (rofl.. but the setting wasnt really funny.. it was quite serious!)

the first day reporting to the unit before we fly off to afghanistan, we have to find our way to a "secluded part" of a army camp. in my dream i said, "omg i saw this place a few days ago from the mrt, and now im here! omg!" (the place was near a mrt track).

so we continued on to find this place.. then there are one or two regulars came to guide the way in. suddenly, this short journey became something like a obstacle course thing.. with real toxic and human "fake enemies" where we have to avoid being hit so as not to incur being served with a puddle of stinking mud or sth.. which i luckily didnt have to suffer from... cos i managed to complete it smoothly.

in retrospect now, it was absurd.. there are "monkey bar"-like obstacles, and tactical urban movement sections.. i even dream of the encik saying good! cos i cleared the monkey bar.. LOL. in the end this thing was more like a final test b4 sending us to the real mission, where by we were informed that we only have to stay in afghanistan for 2 days. 2 days i thought i was okay. thats why i didnt try to downpes in my dream. LOL.

just when we are about to set off.. time to wake up liao!

sunscreen

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

**

took it from some forum. quite meaningful stuff.

《听见》-恶作剧之吻
你不开心的眼 仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
距离就算在靠近眼前 我们一样没焦点
没有你的世界 就像寒冬没有春天依畏 少了你培在身边
我的四季只剩下冬天 悲伤 喜悦 回忆不断重演　
静下来的世界 有我的思念 也有你的空虚无边
　
你有没有听见 寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
它住近我们之间 守候着我和你的永远
你有没有听见 思念的呼唤传遍每条街
就算你走的再远 累了回头我就在 你的身边
你有没有听见 寞的声音悄悄在蔓延　
它住近我们之间 守候着我和你的永远
你有没有听见 思念的呼唤传遍每条街
就算你走的再远 累了回头我就在 你的身边

"Few Singaporean will be keen to take up jobs at such low wages which are hardly enough to survive in Singapore. There is no minimum wage in Singapore. Employers have the complete autonomy to set the wages as they see fit and with the easy availability of cheap foreign labor, they have few incentives to employ Singaporeans who cost more."

QFT.

Haix. When the higher ups say singaporeans wont work for xxxx kind of jobs, it isnt because we find it degrading. It is because the pay really like shit. Since foreign workers are so easily available, can people argue that it helps Singaporeans to create jobs? Perhaps if the companies would hire more management people using the money saved from these cheaper workers? Or perhaps they would just pocket the profit.

When they say we ownselves buey gan(cmi) when competing with foreign students is school, did they realise that we are not of equal footing? While some of us have to work like shit, take part time to pay our school fees, they are invited here with scholarships and allowances that are instead not given to capable singaporeans.

Why then they ask us to find partners and have kids, when i have to struggle to keep myself afloat on the bell curve that is flooded by so many of them, worry about my expenses, going for reservice and ippt. How do they actually expect us to find time to even date.

Im one of the ones getting annoyed by the % of immigrants here.

This is not the place i would be happy in if the situation continues.. i really hope some good people would stand up against these policies. i would give them my vote(hopefully my area is contested to begin with!)

because sometimes when we dont move on, time moves us along

its official, 22 years without girlfriend!

haha actually its not so much about having a girlfriend or not la.. after all it's just a label.

but one cant deny the sense of security it gives in life.

to have something to fall back to.

a launch pad to greater things.

its like the aircraft carrier you return to after your mission,

the housten you report back to in your space exploration

the base you return to after you have made the greatest journey-

life.

flying high/not so high/low/(replace with an adverb) without a place to return to.

i wish myself a happy 22nd!

默默在你的身后守候的我 多想看你不经意的笑容 或许我的心你不懂 我会努力让你感动  在你眼中有多麼笨拙的我 决不放弃追逐你的执著 只要你能再多些回应我 一个笑或点头全接受  能不能再靠近一点点 大声说出你所有感觉 别再紧紧关在只有自己的世界 温暖太阳为你迎接  能不能再靠近一点点 能不能再勇敢一点点 就算让我知道我永远只是单恋 我也会藏著感谢 笑著和你说再见  默默在你的身后守候的我 多想看你不经意的笑容 或许我的心你不懂 我会努力让你感动  在你眼中有多麼笨拙的我 决不放弃追逐你的执著 只要你能再多些回应我 一个笑或点头全接受  能不能再靠近一点点 大声说出你所有感觉 别再紧紧关在只有自己的世界 温暖太阳为你迎接  能不能再靠近一点点 能不能再勇敢一点点 就算让我知道我永远只是单恋 我也会藏著感谢 笑著和你说再见 

im finding the frequency of my sleeping increasing.

however, i still sleep once a day/or maybe less.

time must be accelerating.

tiger year is approaching. the next in line would be rabbit(my year).

it would be one "lun" (cycle of the chinese zodiac) from when i was primary 6.

how many luns to go before i cease to exist?

is it that when you finally want to live a life, life just seems so short.

random quote from the internet

if you like cat - you are a care giver and won't expect anything in return
if you like dog - you expect same love/reciprocate in return

haha.. perhaps

duno if e owner mind or not.. but this is a nice blog for a good read

http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/

2010~

hihi! these are my resolutions for 2009.. as a tradition i shall talk about how much exactly i have achieved each of these!

RESOLUTION FOR 2009

1. Feel that i have chosen the right uni course

2. BE HAPPY

3. Spend my pre uni time wisely

4. IPPT GOLD PLEASE ($400!!!!!!!)

5. Have more friends!

6.

7. Master guitar to a pro level ok?

Legend: Fulfilled, somewhat fulfilled, obviously not fulfilled

1. Though how much i know about stats currently is still of minuscule proportion. after exploring all the module description im kind of glad to see that it is almost what i would expect it to be.. haha chim.. but i use this method to at least psycho myself im right haha.

2. BE HAPPY.. well as a matter of fact i havent been happier since many years ago.. school is indeed a good place :) evidence: the number of green totally > than last year's. im using purple. im gay in its non-sexual sense.

3. seriously i dont remember exactly what i did during the hols.. i rmb working and playing the guitar and even reading up on bayesian statistics(though i've nv past the" A level" section of the book, and have never even treaded to the bayesian page. i was lost in the fundamentals of statistics prelude). i guess i rmb only the good things. HAHA. which is good!

4. See previous post. shant let the 3 letter S word spoil my entry:)

5. Quantitatively or figuratively(the english language.. seriously..) i feel this is fulfilled and the main reason why im so happy now :) its great to know so many great ppl. it is great to still keep in touch with the very same old friends who share a bond that would probably, and hopefully, never be broken.

7. well.. i actually got it more underway than last year.. so yup(pardon me for my lack of a better sentence). at least im in G3NUS.. which i feel is the best decision in this year!! hurray~ well.. i've finally performed live.. and recently i had just transcript/transposed/arranged/"or what u call it" a song for nian nian tuan. haha

2010. this time it would be a new chapter of my life.. totally. (nice number to make such a resolution as well.

well.. because im going out to CD with my g@y buddies(possibly in sexual sense, HAHAHA). i have no time, and had not thought of my resolution for 2010 yet. so i shall pen them down only tmr! (this entry would then be re-dated)

See you guys in 2010!

new design of fireworks

A new year, a new beginning for many; new things to look forward to; new resolutions.

Here goes..

resolution for 2010

1. BE HAPPY

2. Meet more new friends!

3. Continue to improve on my guitar skills!

4. Finally find someone i like who likes me also (hopefully)

5. Stay healthy

There.. the simplest wishes for a simple and happy life.

I hope 2010 will be legendary/awesome!!

wish me luck!