Should I?

Im not sure whom you are referring to.
Should i believe what you once told me?
That what you write is just unreal.
Or should i believe what you are trying to tell me now.
My senses failed me once(or maybe not, hopefully)
maybe im making up everything myself again..

If there is a slightest chance that you love me,
then im in what im in now. a state of dilemma.
Am i just a lifeboat to save you from your sunken cruise?
But then again i would gladly well be one. To see you happy again.
Or am i just a fleeting desire, like the one everyone has?
But then again i would gladly well be one. For your love i would die to have, be it for a second or for eternity.

Should i find you and cure us of our pain? Should i put an end to all these messy things?

Then again, are all those meant for me? Maybe it's your stress acting up again, needing someone to care for you.
Maybe im not even anything to you. Not even a person you hate.
Then i would disappear slowly. dissolve. vaporise. leaving no trace of me in this cruel world.

偏偏喜欢你

愁绪挥不去苦闷散不去
为何我心一片空虚
感情已失去一切都失去
满腔恨愁不可消除
为何你的嘴里总是那一句
为何我的心不会死
明白到爱失去一切都不对
我又为何偏偏喜欢你

爱已是负累相爱似受罪
心底如今满苦泪
旧日情如醉此际怕再追
偏偏痴心想见你
为何我心分秒想着过去
为何你一点都不记起
情义已失去恩爱都失去
我却为何偏偏喜欢你

Everything I do, I do it for you.

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into my heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Bryan Adams - Everything I Do (I Do It For You)

happy bdae!

happy bdae to you! without you i wouldn't be here!.. (coldness....................)

1 day before..

1. cigarettes
2. beer
3. pub
4. nothing.
5. m18 movies maybe.
6. my wishing.

Invulnerable.

How i wish im invulnerable, but im not. Love is.
Im really curious what's inside me, that makes me keep on loving you,
even though u told me to get the fuck off and find a better girl.
But it was like whatever and all i want is you.
And even until now its still true.

You dont believe in my forever.
You chose to give me up.
I never gave up.
But you still dont believe, even until now.

I really miss you.
Maybe one day we will see each other again, face to face.
Whats gonna happen then..?
I guess you would have forgotten me by then.
And i will be a one you wish you didnt see that day.

等待

我不知道你是否曾经爱过我.
不过我很确定我爱上了你.

这不是一首歌,请别弄错. 你对我的冷漠, 我以悲痛来面对.
你造成的伤, 已没有愈合的迹象.
我只能在梦中遇见你了.

有时好怀疑你所说的一切.
我已习惯只相信美好的回忆, 那让我觉得我在一场最凄美的爱情故事,
那令我感受到快乐的意思的那一回忆.

我知道爱是要讲缘分. 我想我们有缘无分吧..

我可还在等待, 你是否知道?
但是你知道了又能改变了什么呢?

该你的就该是你的.

One sided soulmates

What would you do if it was you?
What would you try when theres nothin else to do?
No fact or fiction, a cleaner kitchen, a thousand apolgies
Nothin can change it, just gotta face it, she's got to leave.

Is there any way that I can make her stay?
Is there anyone out there who knows the magic words to say?
Maybe I've just got to let her go...

Somebody's made a big mistake.
One-sided soulmates only have one heart to break.
This is the story of an idiot and an angel
An unbroken connection that haunts me still.

Won't someone please cut this line.
I can drown this feeling, but I'm running out of wine.
So whats the big deal, I feel what she feels, but thats where it ends
My baby she could carry, then one day we'd marry, but she tells me we're just friends

Somebody's made a big mistake.
One-sided soulmates only have one heart to break.
This is the story of an idiot and an angel
An unbroken connection that haunts me still.

Is there any way that I can make her stay?
Is there anyone out there who knows the magic words to say?
Maybe I've just got to let her go...
Maybe I've just got to let her go...

------------------------------------------------
a poem taken from the web.

There.

I must thank God and you for the 10 seconds today.. and it is 5-10m now.
I could feel my heart racing when I was that near.

But sad memories and thoughts they keep coming back.
Tonight I'm haunted again.

Thank you.

I dunno who should i thank.. God? maybe.. or you?

Thank you for letting me see you again. Although it was really 5 secs.. and i was at 50m away..
but still, that is enough.

One can't ask for more.

My timetable...

my freaking timetable. shaded are teh subjects that im involved in. bear in mind each period is 1 hour. p.s. i did this timetable using excel leh!! not bad hor? nice rite!

..... so i have 2 days where sch ends at 6.15. 1 day(pdp) at 6.30... 1 day at 5.15 and last day at 4.15..
so pls pls pls pls pls dont complain ur timetable in front of me!! hmppph!! (just kidding haha)

then my cca is tentatively wed and thurs.. which may change to friday..(becos fri has designated pdp slots..)

so.. my timetable simply rox la.
does tj provide sleeping bags? T_T

This love..

as usual. everytime i open the blogger i would be momentarily stunned at this page,
i would forget what i would want to say.

i was hoping that my entry could be more natural this time. but then again, i wonder why is that so.

you had gone away. just like that. it's been like one and a half month already. maybe you have clean forgotten me. maybe im just like another tree by your road in life, so insignificant, so easily forgotten. every night is like a nightmare. and every time i thought of why things have to become this way, my heart would shatter like it was an glass vase fallen from the thousandth floor.

it's always me. it was as though i was the only one in love. until you told me so that that's the truth. disillusioned. even until when hope came. that you wasn't you.
all in that cyberspace web. but who should i trust this time? you? or you?

i've fallen in this paradox you've created.

sch is starting. will there be a chance where i will see you again? five seconds and i would be contented. but after all, would that matter? you would still be you in your would full of false and act, and me, dead as ever without you.

Happy New Year.

Here's my last yr's review and this yr's list of hopes.

sucks. okok. good.

Review(in chronological order):
Acne.. wtf>???(sorry for being vulgar hahax)
TJ orientation T_T
O lvl results..
Sch posting..aka JAE
JCT.
Promos.
Truth revealed...(haix..)
night hike!! with gay frens except qw..
XMas! lots of prezzie
Countdown at marina bay with wangzi and 4F (some..)
Lotsa jokes during the trip and back home!

Hopes:
1. Get a girlfriend. (haix.. who can i blame.. im ugly and not clever and not funny and so quiet.. can someone help me out? haha..)
2. 4As 2 Distinctions..
3. Happy.
4. World a better place!


im very sick now... just came back from marina bay.. walked alot.. blog another day soon..