Hello
Dreams that we follow,
Complaints have we bellowed.
Life's full of sorrow,
You're my angel with halo.
Countless hardships I will swallow.
Just to hear your "hello".
----------------------------------------
I am your crime
You are a murderer.
You killed my only friend, loneliness.
You are an arsonist.
You set me on fire.
You are a rapist.
You had me let you in.
You are a thief.
You stole my heart without me knowing.
You are a scammer.
I believe in you.
You are a kidnapper,
and I'm yours forever.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Many loved others.
I don't know what is your view, but to me, this life(my current conciousness and memories) only lasts till I die.
We could say that if we die, we won't remember what has happened before, which is why many chose suicide as a solution to their problems.
To me, people are like a tree. We all start from the same place - the ground. As we grow up, we have some decisions to make which will change our lives forever. From then on, we will branch out into different directions. There are sayings that life consists of many crossroads. I agree. I feel that life is a path where there are many junctions, and each junction you have to make a decisions. Because it's so confusing, you can never get back to where you regretted doing something wrong, and try to start things all over again. Many chose suicide, to fall off from the tree - a shortcut - to start right back from the ground again.
I, have made a mistake. If others are seeing this, I'm really really sorry. I don't know how much apology and what I can do can undo everything.
As times go by, when the your branch gets old, it withers, and one day, it will fall back to the ground again. You will become nutrients for the young growing ones. At least your lessons taught to the young will be remembered even when you're gone.
Two persons once seperated, because of a foolish decision, can never get back together again. Many just hope they can fall on the same place on the ground, where they will finally meet again.
Without others, many would die.
If I'm dead, change all "many" to "I" and "others" to "you" and "they" to "we"
We could say that if we die, we won't remember what has happened before, which is why many chose suicide as a solution to their problems.
To me, people are like a tree. We all start from the same place - the ground. As we grow up, we have some decisions to make which will change our lives forever. From then on, we will branch out into different directions. There are sayings that life consists of many crossroads. I agree. I feel that life is a path where there are many junctions, and each junction you have to make a decisions. Because it's so confusing, you can never get back to where you regretted doing something wrong, and try to start things all over again. Many chose suicide, to fall off from the tree - a shortcut - to start right back from the ground again.
I, have made a mistake. If others are seeing this, I'm really really sorry. I don't know how much apology and what I can do can undo everything.
As times go by, when the your branch gets old, it withers, and one day, it will fall back to the ground again. You will become nutrients for the young growing ones. At least your lessons taught to the young will be remembered even when you're gone.
Two persons once seperated, because of a foolish decision, can never get back together again. Many just hope they can fall on the same place on the ground, where they will finally meet again.
Without others, many would die.
If I'm dead, change all "many" to "I" and "others" to "you" and "they" to "we"
Saturday, April 26, 2008
i found myself a home, a home, a home sweet home.
Its around 6 more months to ORDinary life and soon, I will have my pink IC back, and some time from then on, I will be an adult. (It's funny when you are 20years 11months 31days 23hours 59mins 59secs 99 hundreth of a second old you are a matured(18) and after one breath you are an adult!).
I will leave my summing up of my NS experience after I ORD, but now I shall share ways I observed that help you have a more "toned-down" NS -- if that is the word. Note: Some are through experiences, some are already too late for me to adopt, or not according to my principles. In other words, these are for you people.
Act Blur Lives the Longest: Firstly, if you are f**ked up, all you get is all easy work. Tedious they may seem, but its better than being arrowed to do some dua zhong stuff. Regulars only make use of you and your talent that they do not have.
Talk Less and be Alert: Don't talk too much and dont complain for stupid stuff, lest you LPPL. Be alert and observe, if someone is not looking too happy, go to toilet.
Dont take the initiative: More often than not, you will be the one being tasked to do the job and make your own wonderful idea work. You are just a NSF, it's not like your work will be implemented anyway, unless it helps SAF save alot of money, but then again, all recognition you get is some respect until your next mistake.
Subscribe a Hi!Card or something: Dont use your personal number for army. This way you can filter the calls you dont like and wont have to let the fone vibrate in your pocket when you are watching movie with the 2nd cutest girl in the world. (The cutest is with me hahahaha kidding).
Analyse the situation: If there is an impending reward aka nights out or free lunch etc, first think whether the job is possible. If it's impossible, there's no need to rush.
Live a day by a day: Do not volunteer for last minute guard duty(even if you dont have any for the month) on the notion that "then next month you wont have". Try to evade as much as possible. Trust me on this one, this way you will get the least duty in your NS life.
Make friends: Friends are probably the only reason besides defending your country that you dont kill yourself with your bayonet.
Be prepared: Before you enter NS, make sure you are very fit. 60 pushups a day(in sets of 20) and less than 11 mins for 2.4km is the minimum requirement.
Pride is worth your life: It takes it away from you.
With power comes responsibility: Almost all sorts of responsibilities you can have if you become a commander. Basically, you are the scrapegoat for anything that happens to anyone below and above you. But, the money is good. Being a man almost shirks you of all responsibility and punishment, and your pay too.
I'm very tired now le. Can't think of more at the moment. I have some secret ways to break the system but I wont reveal here.. or else I will be sabotaging alot of people. haha
Again, I must emphasize, this is rather a complaint by me (or maybe a lesson learnt? i really dont know) than a slack NS for dummies. I wonder sometimes is it fair and does it pay to be positive, hardworking and kind. I can only say my NS life so far has been fruitful, as I think I learnt more things by doing more and felt less angry by complaining less(wait a minute, i think i was complaining..).
Also something important, I feel that social responsibility is lacking among young people.
Glossary:
dua zhong: enormous and important(describing a task or some tasks)
LPPL: backfire.
edit: obscenity removed.. even i couldn't stand it.
I will leave my summing up of my NS experience after I ORD, but now I shall share ways I observed that help you have a more "toned-down" NS -- if that is the word. Note: Some are through experiences, some are already too late for me to adopt, or not according to my principles. In other words, these are for you people.
Act Blur Lives the Longest: Firstly, if you are f**ked up, all you get is all easy work. Tedious they may seem, but its better than being arrowed to do some dua zhong stuff. Regulars only make use of you and your talent that they do not have.
Talk Less and be Alert: Don't talk too much and dont complain for stupid stuff, lest you LPPL. Be alert and observe, if someone is not looking too happy, go to toilet.
Dont take the initiative: More often than not, you will be the one being tasked to do the job and make your own wonderful idea work. You are just a NSF, it's not like your work will be implemented anyway, unless it helps SAF save alot of money, but then again, all recognition you get is some respect until your next mistake.
Subscribe a Hi!Card or something: Dont use your personal number for army. This way you can filter the calls you dont like and wont have to let the fone vibrate in your pocket when you are watching movie with the 2nd cutest girl in the world. (The cutest is with me hahahaha kidding).
Analyse the situation: If there is an impending reward aka nights out or free lunch etc, first think whether the job is possible. If it's impossible, there's no need to rush.
Live a day by a day: Do not volunteer for last minute guard duty(even if you dont have any for the month) on the notion that "then next month you wont have". Try to evade as much as possible. Trust me on this one, this way you will get the least duty in your NS life.
Make friends: Friends are probably the only reason besides defending your country that you dont kill yourself with your bayonet.
Be prepared: Before you enter NS, make sure you are very fit. 60 pushups a day(in sets of 20) and less than 11 mins for 2.4km is the minimum requirement.
Pride is worth your life: It takes it away from you.
With power comes responsibility: Almost all sorts of responsibilities you can have if you become a commander. Basically, you are the scrapegoat for anything that happens to anyone below and above you. But, the money is good. Being a man almost shirks you of all responsibility and punishment, and your pay too.
I'm very tired now le. Can't think of more at the moment. I have some secret ways to break the system but I wont reveal here.. or else I will be sabotaging alot of people. haha
Again, I must emphasize, this is rather a complaint by me (or maybe a lesson learnt? i really dont know) than a slack NS for dummies. I wonder sometimes is it fair and does it pay to be positive, hardworking and kind. I can only say my NS life so far has been fruitful, as I think I learnt more things by doing more and felt less angry by complaining less(wait a minute, i think i was complaining..).
Also something important, I feel that social responsibility is lacking among young people.
Glossary:
dua zhong: enormous and important(describing a task or some tasks)
LPPL: backfire.
edit: obscenity removed.. even i couldn't stand it.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
past tense
Does it happen to you?
Everytime when you see your old friends, be it on friendster, or facebook, or msn,
someone you knew(past tense) during primary school, secondary school or JC,
or when you hear them saying something you dont know of,
do you feel that you have distanced from them?
It's like you know them for quite a well already, and once you part with them, because of graduation and going different schools, doing different work, going to army, or simply, taking different paths in life, you feel like you never knew them at all?
It's true that its hard to keep a friendship alive, and actually its harder as the duration gets longer, but issit everytime you change an environment, you must change your friends too?
I'm particularly worried for some, and for me, that when we get old, who do we make friends with?
Those people we study with?
Those people we work with?
Those people we share the same hobby?
Those people who go out with us every day to shop, eat and play?
Those people who are not attached, have no grandchildren, fancy a game of chess with you and loves talking about the past -- what we could have done when we were young and what we should have not, what we could still do at that moment and what we no longer could.
Maybe I was just too quiet... thats why I didnt make many good friends.
Sometimes it's just very scary, to see how much people can actually move on.
Maybe I'm just too sentimental.
I had always been unable to part with the things I have used before. Toys, pillow, bolster, computer, wallets, stationary, handphones, clothes, software(yes.. I would have stayed at windows ME if i could, and IE 6.0 if it wasn't so laggy and virusly and buggy to the point I give up, but i still use IE most of the time now), house, bus I took, the path I took to school, and many more.
I'm a conservative person, change is like eating rice. I know its inevitable, and I have to live with it to survive, and its a everyday thing, but I just dont really like it. Unless, you could convince me, like how my mother convinced me probably during my childhood. (Im just using it as a example, i dont have anything against rice lol)
They say to see a character of a person, see the group that he/she is with, and to have a blissful marriage, find someone who thinks alike, understand each other, and have a common goal in life.
I think I have to start looking for people who have no friends. Just kidding. lol.
I think im just different, and most people, indifferent.
Everytime when you see your old friends, be it on friendster, or facebook, or msn,
someone you knew(past tense) during primary school, secondary school or JC,
or when you hear them saying something you dont know of,
do you feel that you have distanced from them?
It's like you know them for quite a well already, and once you part with them, because of graduation and going different schools, doing different work, going to army, or simply, taking different paths in life, you feel like you never knew them at all?
It's true that its hard to keep a friendship alive, and actually its harder as the duration gets longer, but issit everytime you change an environment, you must change your friends too?
I'm particularly worried for some, and for me, that when we get old, who do we make friends with?
Those people we work with?
Those people we share the same hobby?
Those people who go out with us every day to shop, eat and play?
Those people who are not attached, have no grandchildren, fancy a game of chess with you and loves talking about the past -- what we could have done when we were young and what we should have not, what we could still do at that moment and what we no longer could.
Maybe I was just too quiet... thats why I didnt make many good friends.
Sometimes it's just very scary, to see how much people can actually move on.
Maybe I'm just too sentimental.
I had always been unable to part with the things I have used before. Toys, pillow, bolster, computer, wallets, stationary, handphones, clothes, software(yes.. I would have stayed at windows ME if i could, and IE 6.0 if it wasn't so laggy and virusly and buggy to the point I give up, but i still use IE most of the time now), house, bus I took, the path I took to school, and many more.
I'm a conservative person, change is like eating rice. I know its inevitable, and I have to live with it to survive, and its a everyday thing, but I just dont really like it. Unless, you could convince me, like how my mother convinced me probably during my childhood. (Im just using it as a example, i dont have anything against rice lol)
They say to see a character of a person, see the group that he/she is with, and to have a blissful marriage, find someone who thinks alike, understand each other, and have a common goal in life.
I think I have to start looking for people who have no friends. Just kidding. lol.
I think im just different, and most people, indifferent.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
change
if you are presented with two pills,
one that allows you to change one thing in the past,
other one that allows you to alter one thing in the future,
which would you choose?
sometimes you will be surprised by how much you have grown over a short time.
it's by what you experienced over that time.
sometimes you look at someone you know, and you wonder, have they grown too?
sometimes when you have been the same for quite some time,
and when you friend suddenly do something that amazes you,
you wonder how much have they changed.. have you been left behind?
if you get what i mean.
we are like a handful of marbles in one hand.
when dropped and they hit the floor, we all move in different directions.
some quickly, some slowly.
how do we know whether we are moving at the right direction?
and will we ever meet again?
if we are wrong, will someone pick us up, and put us where we should belong?
if we did wrong in the past, will we be forgiven?
will your friend forgive you,
if you realise you were wrong?
or is it just impossible?
will forget replace forgive and the only way to forgive is to forget -- not the incident, but.. you?
one that allows you to change one thing in the past,
other one that allows you to alter one thing in the future,
which would you choose?
sometimes you will be surprised by how much you have grown over a short time.
it's by what you experienced over that time.
sometimes you look at someone you know, and you wonder, have they grown too?
sometimes when you have been the same for quite some time,
and when you friend suddenly do something that amazes you,
you wonder how much have they changed.. have you been left behind?
if you get what i mean.
we are like a handful of marbles in one hand.
when dropped and they hit the floor, we all move in different directions.
some quickly, some slowly.
how do we know whether we are moving at the right direction?
and will we ever meet again?
if we are wrong, will someone pick us up, and put us where we should belong?
if we did wrong in the past, will we be forgiven?
will your friend forgive you,
if you realise you were wrong?
or is it just impossible?
will forget replace forgive and the only way to forgive is to forget -- not the incident, but.. you?
Sunday, March 09, 2008
some things you cant change.
i want a better car!
i want a better house!
i want a better job!
a better oven!
a better skin!
there are some things that you can get another better one,
but there are things that you cannot and some you shouldnt.
you cannot have a better parent.
you cannot have a better child.
you cannot have a better life,
because you can only have one.
you cannot have a better lover,
because in life you can only love once,
and the rest are merely substitutes.
they say the only thing that is permanent is change.
however, there are some things that cannot be changed.
i wont change you
i want a better house!
i want a better job!
a better oven!
a better skin!
there are some things that you can get another better one,
but there are things that you cannot and some you shouldnt.
you cannot have a better parent.
you cannot have a better child.
you cannot have a better life,
because you can only have one.
you cannot have a better lover,
because in life you can only love once,
and the rest are merely substitutes.
they say the only thing that is permanent is change.
however, there are some things that cannot be changed.
i wont change you
Sunday, March 02, 2008
some days arent the same
this is what i've gotten from one of the applications in facebook..
January 23, 1988
Lucky Color: Aubergine
Personality Strengths: Creativity, Charm
Personality Weakness(es): Impulsiveness
Successful Career Path: Computer Science
Sense of Humor Style: Slapstick
Adjectives to Describe You: powerful, courageous
Also born on January 23: Coming soon
Description:
Bright and cheerful - you are always smiling and add a smile to the face of all those that know you. Chirpy and talkative for the most part, you are outgoing, social and extroverted. A largely happy person on both the outside and the inside - may you always remain the same!
when i saw Computer Science i was like omg.. lol
January 23, 1988
Lucky Color: Aubergine
Personality Strengths: Creativity, Charm
Personality Weakness(es): Impulsiveness
Successful Career Path: Computer Science
Sense of Humor Style: Slapstick
Adjectives to Describe You: powerful, courageous
Also born on January 23: Coming soon
Description:
Bright and cheerful - you are always smiling and add a smile to the face of all those that know you. Chirpy and talkative for the most part, you are outgoing, social and extroverted. A largely happy person on both the outside and the inside - may you always remain the same!
when i saw Computer Science i was like omg.. lol
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Sorry, can i check your boot please?
To save memory space of blogger, just imagined i have just typed "Sorry, can i check your boot please?" x500 times.
this was about the number of times that i said that yesterday. all thanks to the happy guy from mars. as a result, my guard duty yesterday was v xiong and the thought "can i please ORD soon" was in my mind for a second.
its hard to find someone in this world who shares the same sentiments as you. someone who understands you. if you found one, he could v easily be your good friend/partner. but that doesnt mean you cant friend with a person who thinks differently. the key is respect.
many often people treat you as a colleague first before treating you as a friend. make a point to break the ice, and build a good relationship. i think your work experience will be alot better. even the slackest person may do some work, just because of you.
love can be interpreted in many ways. two person who interprets it the same way most likely are able to share and get the love they hoped for. my interpretion of love is destined eternal affection of each other. looks like i will become a monk.
this is just one big random post.
this was about the number of times that i said that yesterday. all thanks to the happy guy from mars. as a result, my guard duty yesterday was v xiong and the thought "can i please ORD soon" was in my mind for a second.
its hard to find someone in this world who shares the same sentiments as you. someone who understands you. if you found one, he could v easily be your good friend/partner. but that doesnt mean you cant friend with a person who thinks differently. the key is respect.
many often people treat you as a colleague first before treating you as a friend. make a point to break the ice, and build a good relationship. i think your work experience will be alot better. even the slackest person may do some work, just because of you.
love can be interpreted in many ways. two person who interprets it the same way most likely are able to share and get the love they hoped for. my interpretion of love is destined eternal affection of each other. looks like i will become a monk.
this is just one big random post.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Day
My insides all turned to ash, so slow
And blew away as I collapsed, so cold
A black wind took them away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow
A black wind took you away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
So now you're gone, and I was wrong
I never knew what it was like, to be alone
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
And blew away as I collapsed, so cold
A black wind took them away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow
A black wind took you away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night
And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
So now you're gone, and I was wrong
I never knew what it was like, to be alone
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
Sunday, February 03, 2008
fallen for you
while my hair's still wet as i just returned from a movie titled "Gone Baby Gone" at plaza singapura, i finally took the effort to produce this post.
no idea from what reason, i suddenly have a list of things i wish to have. yes. a wishlist i thought i will never have. seeing other people always have their wishlist, i didnt thought i would have one too. but well, there it goes..
wishlist:
- Avril Lavigne's The Best Damned Thing
- The Wedding Album (as advertised on TV)
- A really sweet pair of shoes, probably snickers or street soccer 'boots'.
- Tennis Racquet (Head or Prince is nice.. however looking at the price tags.. i think a cheap wilson will do..)
Even though my birthday is over, doesnt mean you all cannot give me these as presents! just kidding haha.
in this week's american's idol's auditions there was a 18-year-old girl who participated in American Junior(apparently is a singing contest for juniors) 4 years ago, that is in 2003. i remember in 2003, American Idol was the talk of the town during its telecast. The show then played past videos of her in the Junior competition, and in that video was a very young growing girl, singing and smiling, as if she had no worries in the back of her mind, like a child.
Then it striked me. Looking at the distinct change in the girl's physique and attitude(she was very arrogant and as quoted "slutty", wore a short skirt and typical teen spaghetti if im not wrong), i realised the fact that we change the most from 12 - 16 years old.
in these four years of mine,
- i had 2 major exams (the streaming exam and the O's)
- i played basketball, then switched to soccer, then to computer games.
- i made my first calculator using e pascal language
- stopped taking bio and e lit. then later all the humans subject altogether
- failed my english for the first time
- built and paid for my own comp
- fell in love for the first time
so many milestones, so many things that changed my life.
so many that sometimes i think that it cannot be controlled. that this path i have to take is fixed.
there were many opportunies, many more wasted.
there were important decisions to make. Even the CCA you chose have most probably changed your life. what to study. who to make friends with. going home to do homework, or to stay at friend's house till night. study for the test, or not. whether i should eat more than i can afford.
didn't have much money then. often have to take out my almost non-existent savings (from ang pao's or birthday ang pao's) if i want to do something extra. however, i was contented with what i have.
now i have income, look at me, have a wishlist liao. lol. actually no la.. just felt that im not young anymore, have to try new things. avril album if it was last time, i would have bought it too. and my old shoes are worn out already.
there are so many more things to talk about in these 4 years, which i think is the best 4 years of my life. (secondary sch life), so many wonderful things that happened. oh.. and q***w** just poped up from the msn alert window.
no idea from what reason, i suddenly have a list of things i wish to have. yes. a wishlist i thought i will never have. seeing other people always have their wishlist, i didnt thought i would have one too. but well, there it goes..
wishlist:
- Avril Lavigne's The Best Damned Thing
- The Wedding Album (as advertised on TV)
- A really sweet pair of shoes, probably snickers or street soccer 'boots'.
- Tennis Racquet (Head or Prince is nice.. however looking at the price tags.. i think a cheap wilson will do..)
Even though my birthday is over, doesnt mean you all cannot give me these as presents! just kidding haha.
in this week's american's idol's auditions there was a 18-year-old girl who participated in American Junior(apparently is a singing contest for juniors) 4 years ago, that is in 2003. i remember in 2003, American Idol was the talk of the town during its telecast. The show then played past videos of her in the Junior competition, and in that video was a very young growing girl, singing and smiling, as if she had no worries in the back of her mind, like a child.
Then it striked me. Looking at the distinct change in the girl's physique and attitude(she was very arrogant and as quoted "slutty", wore a short skirt and typical teen spaghetti if im not wrong), i realised the fact that we change the most from 12 - 16 years old.
in these four years of mine,
- i had 2 major exams (the streaming exam and the O's)
- i played basketball, then switched to soccer, then to computer games.
- i made my first calculator using e pascal language
- stopped taking bio and e lit. then later all the humans subject altogether
- failed my english for the first time
- built and paid for my own comp
- fell in love for the first time
so many milestones, so many things that changed my life.
so many that sometimes i think that it cannot be controlled. that this path i have to take is fixed.
there were many opportunies, many more wasted.
there were important decisions to make. Even the CCA you chose have most probably changed your life. what to study. who to make friends with. going home to do homework, or to stay at friend's house till night. study for the test, or not. whether i should eat more than i can afford.
didn't have much money then. often have to take out my almost non-existent savings (from ang pao's or birthday ang pao's) if i want to do something extra. however, i was contented with what i have.
now i have income, look at me, have a wishlist liao. lol. actually no la.. just felt that im not young anymore, have to try new things. avril album if it was last time, i would have bought it too. and my old shoes are worn out already.
there are so many more things to talk about in these 4 years, which i think is the best 4 years of my life. (secondary sch life), so many wonderful things that happened. oh.. and q***w** just poped up from the msn alert window.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
2008
This post is technically on 5/1/2008. but since it is suppose to be a new year post, and i was in camp for the whole 24 hours of new year day, here i am. Edited the date of this post to 1/1/08.
First let me dig out my last year's resolution!
1. get out of army alive. (hey i will at least have this fulfilled if i manage to see my blog next year!)
2. completely get rid of my acne.
3. good a lvl results
4. be happy.
5. World a better place.
Legend: Fulfilled, somewhat fulfilled, obviously not fulfilled
1. ok i still can type, and never suffered any major injuries last year. so i guess its green.
2. hmm, it has toned down quite a bit. and im happy with the condition now, though its not completely gone.
3. well its good enough that i dont have to worry about not getting to uni.
4. at least last year was better than 2 years ago.
5. although there are still bombings ard and natural disaster, there havent been any major war, and there was the green summit yeah so i think its for the better.
so can see that last year's pretty good. that is also because i have become slightly more optimistic. but hey this year is the year of ORD. so i guess it will be better!
2008's wishlist:
1. get out of army alive.
2. make more friends.
3. completely get rid of my acne.
4. stay happy and healthy.
5. everyone's wishes comes true.
6.
7. world a better place.
haha im slightly greedy this time. hope no 1 minds
First let me dig out my last year's resolution!
1. get out of army alive. (hey i will at least have this fulfilled if i manage to see my blog next year!)
2. completely get rid of my acne.
3. good a lvl results
4. be happy.
5. World a better place.
Legend: Fulfilled, somewhat fulfilled, obviously not fulfilled
1. ok i still can type, and never suffered any major injuries last year. so i guess its green.
2. hmm, it has toned down quite a bit. and im happy with the condition now, though its not completely gone.
3. well its good enough that i dont have to worry about not getting to uni.
4. at least last year was better than 2 years ago.
5. although there are still bombings ard and natural disaster, there havent been any major war, and there was the green summit yeah so i think its for the better.
so can see that last year's pretty good. that is also because i have become slightly more optimistic. but hey this year is the year of ORD. so i guess it will be better!
2008's wishlist:
1. get out of army alive.
2. make more friends.
3. completely get rid of my acne.
4. stay happy and healthy.
5. everyone's wishes comes true.
6.
7. world a better place.
haha im slightly greedy this time. hope no 1 minds
Sunday, December 23, 2007
dream
i dreamt of you last night.
now i feel that all the pain i have been enduring is worth it.
to see your face again, even it is formed by my own fading memory,
its enough to negate all my sufferings.
sometimes i wonder why too.
why do you have such a power over me.
why did i have to screw things up.
and now you are ignoring me.
you dont know but its killing me inside.
now i feel that all the pain i have been enduring is worth it.
to see your face again, even it is formed by my own fading memory,
its enough to negate all my sufferings.
sometimes i wonder why too.
why do you have such a power over me.
why did i have to screw things up.
and now you are ignoring me.
you dont know but its killing me inside.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
you are the butterfly in my stomach
11 months to ord.
sometimes when i think of it,
when you have nothing to do and have no one to talk to u
the feeling is very terrible.
that kind of solitude, it swallows your heart.
it makes you hard to breathe.
its so unbearable.
sometimes i feel that im happier in camp than at home.
because in camp there are your colleagues,
working beside you. they talk cock to you,
they tease you, they play with you.
its fun to be with some company.
whats more camp is such a good place.
where else in this world u can find a job that pays you ard 700-1000+k (if u are a commander)
a month with food and lodging provided when you are not even holding a degree and dont need you to have expertise in any kind of area.
you wake up to your working place every morning.
you can buy food at less than 100m away.
you have people greet you every morning.
you can ask someone whom you dont even know his name to get you a file from your office, or ask him to clean up the toilet.
you have free credits to purchase ur working attire.
you have not much work to do(for some).
you can only find this in the army.
what's more the higher rank you are, the least things you have to do.
but to be able to enjoy such previledges, you have to suffer first.
however, i notice nowadays army has became so slack(especially for some places).
half way through the first 7-day army fieldcamp you can order KFC? this is utter nonsense.
people are now having the wrong impression of army.
"army is slack 1 la."
sentences like "just serve your 2 years and fuck off" are easily passed.
army is no longer place where you grow up, for some.
people who have alot of frustrations in army are on the way to a meaningful NS experience.
army is the place where "Boys become Men"
and not "Pamper the pampered boys"
but whatever the case, i myself have learnt quite alot in army.
and that there are good and very bad regulars in the army.
sometimes when i think of it,
when you have nothing to do and have no one to talk to u
the feeling is very terrible.
that kind of solitude, it swallows your heart.
it makes you hard to breathe.
its so unbearable.
sometimes i feel that im happier in camp than at home.
because in camp there are your colleagues,
working beside you. they talk cock to you,
they tease you, they play with you.
its fun to be with some company.
whats more camp is such a good place.
where else in this world u can find a job that pays you ard 700-1000+k (if u are a commander)
a month with food and lodging provided when you are not even holding a degree and dont need you to have expertise in any kind of area.
you wake up to your working place every morning.
you can buy food at less than 100m away.
you have people greet you every morning.
you can ask someone whom you dont even know his name to get you a file from your office, or ask him to clean up the toilet.
you have free credits to purchase ur working attire.
you have not much work to do(for some).
you can only find this in the army.
what's more the higher rank you are, the least things you have to do.
but to be able to enjoy such previledges, you have to suffer first.
however, i notice nowadays army has became so slack(especially for some places).
half way through the first 7-day army fieldcamp you can order KFC? this is utter nonsense.
people are now having the wrong impression of army.
"army is slack 1 la."
sentences like "just serve your 2 years and fuck off" are easily passed.
army is no longer place where you grow up, for some.
people who have alot of frustrations in army are on the way to a meaningful NS experience.
army is the place where "Boys become Men"
and not "Pamper the pampered boys"
but whatever the case, i myself have learnt quite alot in army.
and that there are good and very bad regulars in the army.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
innocence
all was manageable until yesterday night,
when i found out that avril (that is, avril lavigne the singer) married in 2006!
out of sudden, i felt incredibly sad? or was it some other feeling.
i know that she's canadian, and she is 4 years older than me
she is dam pretty, and she's got the attitude
she's cute and bratty, basically the best damned thing
and THERES NO WAY she will know me and anything will happen between us,
BUT im feeling kinda upset after hearing she's married.
WHY?
issit because its the same feeling as hearing that the girl you like so much got married to someone else but you?
i dont know.
her voice makes my heart tremble,
and my legs weak.
my tears escaped my eyes involuntarily
as i held my mp3 in my hand.
all because of her
------------------------------------
sometimes i wonder why am i so emotional
it wasn't like this before
until i met her.
soemtimes i dont know whether im doing the correct things
to savage a situation
to take away the pain
to undo my mistakes
to repay for my misdoings
so much so that im so afraid.
i live in pain every moment.
wondering whether have i made a mistake somewhere
or have i forgotten to do anything.
sometimes i so hate myself.
when i found out that avril (that is, avril lavigne the singer) married in 2006!
out of sudden, i felt incredibly sad? or was it some other feeling.
i know that she's canadian, and she is 4 years older than me
she is dam pretty, and she's got the attitude
she's cute and bratty, basically the best damned thing
and THERES NO WAY she will know me and anything will happen between us,
BUT im feeling kinda upset after hearing she's married.
WHY?
issit because its the same feeling as hearing that the girl you like so much got married to someone else but you?
i dont know.
her voice makes my heart tremble,
and my legs weak.
my tears escaped my eyes involuntarily
as i held my mp3 in my hand.
all because of her
sometimes i wonder why am i so emotional
it wasn't like this before
until i met her.
soemtimes i dont know whether im doing the correct things
to savage a situation
to take away the pain
to undo my mistakes
to repay for my misdoings
so much so that im so afraid.
i live in pain every moment.
wondering whether have i made a mistake somewhere
or have i forgotten to do anything.
sometimes i so hate myself.
Monday, December 03, 2007
learning.
we all know that learning sometimes get abit hard.
I dont know how to solve this. How? WA LAO...
It sometimes makes you frustrated.
Have you ever wondered what happens when humans keep making more and more discoveries to the point where by his successor would need an entire lifetime to understand his mentor's theories in order to understand that new discovery made by his mentor? I'm talking about when the amount of knowledge far exceeds the capability(speed and space) of the human brain to handle. What do we do when that happens? We split the knowledge up into relevant parts. For example, in Physics we have scientists specialising in different aspect of physics, like quantum physics, astro physics, thermodynamics and so much more.
Well, i dont see it poses any problems? Does it?
What happens if the knowledge itself is split into parts too small to be able to have any apparent use, and yet it requires a tremendous amount of time to research about it? Take a gun for example. Tom has invented a part that is able release a catch by pulling a trigger. But before that, how is he able to convince commercial companies to invest in his research? And how did the university know that this aspect of science/engineering would be useful and hence start a course on how to make a part that releases a catch by pulling a trigger(lets call it triggernometry lol) in the first place? The answer most likely is, they dont.
What im saying is, as knowledge is split to be learnt by different people, the small parts of knowledge loses its cohesiveness. No one is able to get the "general idea" of things before they die of age, or before their brains reach their limit.
So im saying that is there a limit to technological advancement? Where the limiting agent is the human brain itself. The brain is definitely not limitless as the neurons and all the brain cells are limited, unless our brains get larger through evolution OR we manage to increase our capacity and speed of our brains by connecting them with computers(which is quite plausible in the future).
Just something that i thought of last time..
I dont know how to solve this. How? WA LAO...
It sometimes makes you frustrated.
Have you ever wondered what happens when humans keep making more and more discoveries to the point where by his successor would need an entire lifetime to understand his mentor's theories in order to understand that new discovery made by his mentor? I'm talking about when the amount of knowledge far exceeds the capability(speed and space) of the human brain to handle. What do we do when that happens? We split the knowledge up into relevant parts. For example, in Physics we have scientists specialising in different aspect of physics, like quantum physics, astro physics, thermodynamics and so much more.
Well, i dont see it poses any problems? Does it?
What happens if the knowledge itself is split into parts too small to be able to have any apparent use, and yet it requires a tremendous amount of time to research about it? Take a gun for example. Tom has invented a part that is able release a catch by pulling a trigger. But before that, how is he able to convince commercial companies to invest in his research? And how did the university know that this aspect of science/engineering would be useful and hence start a course on how to make a part that releases a catch by pulling a trigger(lets call it triggernometry lol) in the first place? The answer most likely is, they dont.
What im saying is, as knowledge is split to be learnt by different people, the small parts of knowledge loses its cohesiveness. No one is able to get the "general idea" of things before they die of age, or before their brains reach their limit.
So im saying that is there a limit to technological advancement? Where the limiting agent is the human brain itself. The brain is definitely not limitless as the neurons and all the brain cells are limited, unless our brains get larger through evolution OR we manage to increase our capacity and speed of our brains by connecting them with computers(which is quite plausible in the future).
Just something that i thought of last time..
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
bleach
I try to escape before my shadow is fully cast
flying away, not bothering to notice my wings have fallen off.
A sweet scent from far, far away drifts across the street corner
and I hear a familiar voice crying out.
How much further can we make it,
with only the night wind's fleeting hopes to carry us?
The world trembles like it wants to stop us,
taking everything away.
I'm not dreaming anymore,
and we haven't done anything yet, but we'll keep going.
flying away, not bothering to notice my wings have fallen off.
A sweet scent from far, far away drifts across the street corner
and I hear a familiar voice crying out.
How much further can we make it,
with only the night wind's fleeting hopes to carry us?
The world trembles like it wants to stop us,
taking everything away.
I'm not dreaming anymore,
and we haven't done anything yet, but we'll keep going.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
a little of me.
people say "i have a dream".
which means he/she has something in mind that he/she hope can materialise.
if that's the case. i dream to dream.
they say anything can happen in your dreams. sometimes they are what you are thinking the whole day. be it something you fear or something you always wanted. men maketh the dreams and for me, dreams maketh the man. why? in dreams i saw what is seemingly the impossible. what i long for. yes. i saw my dream.
been so busy lately. and feeling quite stressed at my workplace. i thought i had many to say in this blog entry when i was in camp. but it turns out again that whenever this screen is on i cant think anymore.
which means he/she has something in mind that he/she hope can materialise.
if that's the case. i dream to dream.
they say anything can happen in your dreams. sometimes they are what you are thinking the whole day. be it something you fear or something you always wanted. men maketh the dreams and for me, dreams maketh the man. why? in dreams i saw what is seemingly the impossible. what i long for. yes. i saw my dream.
been so busy lately. and feeling quite stressed at my workplace. i thought i had many to say in this blog entry when i was in camp. but it turns out again that whenever this screen is on i cant think anymore.
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