That feel.

I used to feel that way too.
That feeling becoming so unfamiliar.

I want to feel that way again.
That way only you can make me feel.

I want to feel you again.
Your presence itself is more than enough.

To all sad people ard the world..

here's something to cheer u up..


A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?' He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor. '


Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy ' s lap.


Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ' What other problem can there be greater than this one?'


Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.


and my favourite:
Father to son after exam: 'Let me see your report card.'
Son: 'My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.'

The Chandelier

She lights up the hearts of many
of innocent and gloomy.
The rich's property,
never will be happy.
Whenever it's rainy
her best friend's lonely.
Love from the crazy
true what may be.


It's been a long time since i've last blogged, so i spent 10 mins coming up with that.
Still, many things continue to trouble my mind. I will come out with a blog soon specially for my 'theories'.

immaterial

what is this thing im feeling?

why are the feelings coming back?

why do i feel so lonely again..?

why am i losing my fighting spirit again..?

is it because of you?

when i went into the wrong page

i dont know why but maybe fate brought me to blogger.
i dont have much to share.
muchly because i dont feel like doing so.

but since im here im gonna say something about ar|\/|y then.
first of all.. i feel that it has made me realise how fortunate we are now..
can slack at home do nth.. play comp until the point that u get sian of it..

now i have to rush at everything.
be it rush to wait, or wait to rush.
getting tekan for god knows what reason.
but motive is to make us stronger, physically and mentally.
but seriously, if they make it self motivated training..
i think i would have been more willing and there would be
better results and i would have a kinder perspective about "training" in armie.

actually i knew i had something to blog. but blogger seems to have a negative induction force that blocks out all thoughts except the useless ones.

take out the blade through my heart

the problem is, i myself dont believe in what i came in theory about life. theory which makes human lives, and other lives seem so worthless. making the word "worth" worthless. all worth in the world is of perspective. if one falls, other will too.

if u think u really understand, find me at msn. let's have a hearty talk.

stars

everyday after a series of tiring training, i will always look up to the sky.
the stars here in tekong are so big and bright.
and every night, i thought, wouldnt it be nice if you were beside me watching them too.

if the number of stars in the sky represents how many days till i see you,
i'll always tell myself that i wont be sad.
i'll always tell myself that at least i'll get to see you again.

its funny but if so, then the day i see you will have no stars.
but then i wont mind, because u are my brightest star.

Yesterday

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

a new year

These are my last year's hopes....
Legend: Fulfilled, somewhat fulfilled, obviously not fulfilled

Hopes:
1. Get a girlfriend. (haix.. who can i blame.. im ugly and not clever and not funny and so quiet.. can someone help me out? haha..)
2. 4As 2 Distinctions.. <---- i forgot i was refering to prelims or A's.. if is prelims obviously i failed. if A's.. i dont think is v possible also
3. Happy.
4. World a better place!

lol.. looks like last year isnt a very good year for me..
nvm.. i dont expect this year to be good also.

this year's resolution:
1. get out of army alive. (hey i will at least have this fulfilled if i manage to see my blog next year!)
2. completely get rid of my acne.
3. good a lvl results
4. be happy.
5. World a better place.

i dont wish for much... less expectations.. less disappointment.
haha.

a box of 'y's

i wonder why,
everytime when i feel sad
and i want to blog about it
i just couldnt.

is it that my mind and my heart do not connect well
or is it that my command of language is insufficiently capable to convert heart code into a language of words.
i dont even dare to blog where u can see.
because im afraid i might say the wrong things.
im afraid that i say too much that all seem mundane.
basically, im scared of losing you - which i am.

there i go.. saying the wrong things again.
you was never mine?
how could i say that im losing you when i dont have you in the first place.

a dull speck of starcrumbs

i have been living a no-life's life the past few days.
Waking up everyday and before you know it,
im on the battle screen of some rpg, rts or spraying off enemies in a fps game.

i have to admit. this kind of life was heaven to me.
but maybe i have grown old.. too old to be excited by such
trivial fun. then i thought, everyone wants to have fun.
maybe this is wad causing young people to break up these days.

i dont want to have fun.
i just want to be happy.
and to be happy i guess i have to live a life with meaning.
but life is meaningless to me now.

i do not have big dreams nor ambitions.
i dont need to have the latest accessories or clothing.
i dont need 24 hours of pure computer gaming everyday.
i dont need a big big house or some sports wagon.

i want nothing out of life.

maybe deep down i hope to have a person whom i can spend my life with forever.
maybe what i want is LOVE.
but do love exist anyway?
do anyone value love?
do anyone really know how to love? who to love?

love obviously cannot be obtained just overnight.
i have to wait for the right one to arrive.
maybe she already have.
maybe she will never come.
but right now in my life,
i can only wait for her to come.

.. and before that, life is meaningless.
because she is my meaning in life.

happy birthdae

So finally it ended - the dreaded 'A' Levels has passed.
I guess I have to do some sort of conclusion;
Conclusion on my 14 years of study life.
Conclusion on my teenage life.

I say that the lvls exams i have been thru are quite okay,
except for some disappointments that everyone may have.
Generally i think that general paper sucks(esp for paper 2)
Maths was challenging (to me) and i really hope i can get an A.
Chem was quite a disaster for me.. becos my paper 3 is not v good i guess.
considering also my pathetic spa results which i think i have gotten,
i really really hope its an A too..
Physics was quite alright. But paper 3 was too qualitative to my liking.
Computing was very okay. since most of the questions came from past year.
Wish nth bad happens!
Maths s paper was hmm.. i guess okay. Since i have mixed feelings for it.
On one hand i definitely did way better than prelims (i got 27/100!!!),
on the other hand.. i think i will have a medicore, if not, unimpressive result. Really hope to get merit!
Physics was quite easy.. except for the stupid electricity qns i knew i shldnt have attempted. Hoping for a dist!

Well i guess after we took the paper we can more or less know the results. And we have no need to hide them or run away from them. well.. the actual results come 4 months later. I really hope i will get better than wad i expect!

and.. its 5 mins early.. but..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

My blog is 2 years old!

why do i sound happy when im not? and it often leads to misunderstandings

天灰

如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

an imminent bye, a permanent sigh..

A lvls is just days away..
Although i think that A lvls are not that important to me (becos i dont intend to take on intensive courses in uni), im feeling abit worried.. who noes why..

but what worries me more is what's after it. NS... i wonder if after the two years i will be the same? i wonder if you will still remember that there is someone like me who long to be by your side.

as exams comes.. i start to play more.. maybe my concentration span is up.. no no no.. i cannot be giving myself excuses! i must continue to study!

(out of sudden, i forgot what i wanted to blog before i wrote these, maybe my mind knows that now is not the time to think about those stuff)

In these cold nights

haix... the thought of army saddens me.
i need to do alot alot things after A's..
but i have only 1 month now le..
j4n thirteenth.. i received my deathnote on the eve of deathnote's release..

anyway.. past 2 hours have been freecell.. i was stuck on this game #17803 yesterday
i woke up today dreaming of it.. and finally!
I knew i won when i saw this!

Keane - Hamburg Song

I don't want to be adored
Don't want to be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved

No, don't want to be the only one you know
I want to be the place you call home

I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
I give much more than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end?
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend?
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple

I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way

To lay yourself down and make it so?
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for

The Way You Look at Me

prelims are long gone.
we have slightly less than 4 weeks left.
But im still stucked.
I have no mood for anything, for games and for study.
My results is half-satisfying with AACD and C6..
guess the gp and maths are slightly if not very disappointing for me.
How can i get a D for maths when im actually maths s paper..
but i can solve harder questions if given the time..
guess i lack exposure and the practice.
a result of not doing tutorials

maybe there will be a change of blog skin..

neither here nor there

Maybe life is described by this principle?

Completely ridiculous anthropic principle (CRAP): "At the instant the Omega Point is reached, life will have gained control of all matter and forces not only in a single universe, but in all universes whose existence is logically possible; life will have spread into all spatial regions in all universes which could logically exist, and will have stored an infinite amount of information, including all bits of knowledge which it is logically possible to know. And this is the end."

stuck on you

Have you ever felt that you wanted someone to talk to,
but yet knowing that there will not be anyone who truly listens?

Have you ever felt that all of the sudden,
after so much time of fun and laughter,
the place quietens down, almost in a way hopelessly?

Have you felt that all of the sudden everything closes onto you,
when u realise the fact that no one really cares about you except your own self?
Even if there is a person who cares, it must be very fortunate to have,
and very difficult to find?

Have you felt that life is just a journey where you have to walk alone,
that no one really cares where did you go after it ends?

Have you been in a broken family?

Have you been jealous?

Have you been jealous and then given up on the differences,
planning not to do anything about it as it is all fate?

Has fate played you?

Have you asked so many questions knowing that no one can better answer in a way you like it except yourself?

Have you been in love?

Have you thought that the person loved you, only to find out later that it has been all but an unfortunate misunderstanding which only a foolish mind like yours will plunge deep into?

Have you been thinking like me?

Have you been thinking of me..?

chasing cars

I'm afraid that my curiousity would cause me to take on a course of Physics in the new future. A course surely of busyness and loniliness (if i will realise it). But what is loniless but just a series chemical reaction in my body telling me i need (do i?) a company. But of couse the world of future is too uncertain, let alone exploring the future.. that sometimes, regretably due to the chemical reaction's cousins, i find it too much of a bother.

Therefore, I guess i would most likely continue to "live a normal life".