happy birthdae

So finally it ended - the dreaded 'A' Levels has passed.
I guess I have to do some sort of conclusion;
Conclusion on my 14 years of study life.
Conclusion on my teenage life.

I say that the lvls exams i have been thru are quite okay,
except for some disappointments that everyone may have.
Generally i think that general paper sucks(esp for paper 2)
Maths was challenging (to me) and i really hope i can get an A.
Chem was quite a disaster for me.. becos my paper 3 is not v good i guess.
considering also my pathetic spa results which i think i have gotten,
i really really hope its an A too..
Physics was quite alright. But paper 3 was too qualitative to my liking.
Computing was very okay. since most of the questions came from past year.
Wish nth bad happens!
Maths s paper was hmm.. i guess okay. Since i have mixed feelings for it.
On one hand i definitely did way better than prelims (i got 27/100!!!),
on the other hand.. i think i will have a medicore, if not, unimpressive result. Really hope to get merit!
Physics was quite easy.. except for the stupid electricity qns i knew i shldnt have attempted. Hoping for a dist!

Well i guess after we took the paper we can more or less know the results. And we have no need to hide them or run away from them. well.. the actual results come 4 months later. I really hope i will get better than wad i expect!

and.. its 5 mins early.. but..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

My blog is 2 years old!

why do i sound happy when im not? and it often leads to misunderstandings

天灰

如果你不再出现
我的世界还有什么可贵
可惜不够时间
让我们试验什么叫永远
想念变成怀念
心动变成心碎
偏偏还会关切
你最后属于谁
我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

an imminent bye, a permanent sigh..

A lvls is just days away..
Although i think that A lvls are not that important to me (becos i dont intend to take on intensive courses in uni), im feeling abit worried.. who noes why..

but what worries me more is what's after it. NS... i wonder if after the two years i will be the same? i wonder if you will still remember that there is someone like me who long to be by your side.

as exams comes.. i start to play more.. maybe my concentration span is up.. no no no.. i cannot be giving myself excuses! i must continue to study!

(out of sudden, i forgot what i wanted to blog before i wrote these, maybe my mind knows that now is not the time to think about those stuff)

In these cold nights

haix... the thought of army saddens me.
i need to do alot alot things after A's..
but i have only 1 month now le..
j4n thirteenth.. i received my deathnote on the eve of deathnote's release..

anyway.. past 2 hours have been freecell.. i was stuck on this game #17803 yesterday
i woke up today dreaming of it.. and finally!
I knew i won when i saw this!

Keane - Hamburg Song

I don't want to be adored
Don't want to be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved

No, don't want to be the only one you know
I want to be the place you call home

I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
I give much more than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end?
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend?
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple

I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way

To lay yourself down and make it so?
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for

The Way You Look at Me

prelims are long gone.
we have slightly less than 4 weeks left.
But im still stucked.
I have no mood for anything, for games and for study.
My results is half-satisfying with AACD and C6..
guess the gp and maths are slightly if not very disappointing for me.
How can i get a D for maths when im actually maths s paper..
but i can solve harder questions if given the time..
guess i lack exposure and the practice.
a result of not doing tutorials

maybe there will be a change of blog skin..

neither here nor there

Maybe life is described by this principle?

Completely ridiculous anthropic principle (CRAP): "At the instant the Omega Point is reached, life will have gained control of all matter and forces not only in a single universe, but in all universes whose existence is logically possible; life will have spread into all spatial regions in all universes which could logically exist, and will have stored an infinite amount of information, including all bits of knowledge which it is logically possible to know. And this is the end."

stuck on you

Have you ever felt that you wanted someone to talk to,
but yet knowing that there will not be anyone who truly listens?

Have you ever felt that all of the sudden,
after so much time of fun and laughter,
the place quietens down, almost in a way hopelessly?

Have you felt that all of the sudden everything closes onto you,
when u realise the fact that no one really cares about you except your own self?
Even if there is a person who cares, it must be very fortunate to have,
and very difficult to find?

Have you felt that life is just a journey where you have to walk alone,
that no one really cares where did you go after it ends?

Have you been in a broken family?

Have you been jealous?

Have you been jealous and then given up on the differences,
planning not to do anything about it as it is all fate?

Has fate played you?

Have you asked so many questions knowing that no one can better answer in a way you like it except yourself?

Have you been in love?

Have you thought that the person loved you, only to find out later that it has been all but an unfortunate misunderstanding which only a foolish mind like yours will plunge deep into?

Have you been thinking like me?

Have you been thinking of me..?

chasing cars

I'm afraid that my curiousity would cause me to take on a course of Physics in the new future. A course surely of busyness and loniliness (if i will realise it). But what is loniless but just a series chemical reaction in my body telling me i need (do i?) a company. But of couse the world of future is too uncertain, let alone exploring the future.. that sometimes, regretably due to the chemical reaction's cousins, i find it too much of a bother.

Therefore, I guess i would most likely continue to "live a normal life".

this is taken from Stephen Hawking's web, do read the public lectures if anyone is free! its an incredibly good read!

Since events before the Big Bang have no observational consequences, one may as well cut them out of the theory, and say that time began at the Big Bang. Events before the Big Bang, are simply not defined, because there's no way one could measure what happened at them. This kind of beginning to the universe, and of time itself, is very different to the beginnings that had been considered earlier. These had to be imposed on the universe by some external agency. There is no dynamical reason why the motion of bodies in the solar system can not be extrapolated back in time, far beyond four thousand and four BC, the date for the creation of the universe, according to the book of Genesis. Thus it would require the direct intervention of God, if the universe began at that date. By contrast, the Big Bang is a beginning that is required by the dynamical laws that govern the universe. It is therefore intrinsic to the universe, and is not imposed on it from outside.

my love.

I know love is with the heart
and shown with action.
I know love is not merely words like
the following:

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

anyway, just to let you know
i really love you.

This is cool

and i do question life.

humans are interesting. let alone life.

just only a few decades ago, people do not even have proper clothing or food,
and they worry not about starving or being less nicely attired.
They worry about how are they going to support their family.

Maybe we are too spoilt? We worry about what to eat, even though we already have food. We worry about love, when we cant even afford the Marriage Preparory Programme (it costs money i think?). We worry about what to do in our spare time, how we look in front of the mirror, the clothes we wear, the shampoo we use, the bag we sling, the perfume we carry (perfume!!?!?!?), the movies we watch, the results we get, the course we going to take, the job we pursue, the time we wait.

I guess we worry about the wrong things? What's worrying is why people are worrying.
If life brings you where you go, as if anything is going to change if u worked abit harder, stayed abit longer, write abit faster, walked abit slower, think abit further, born abit earlier, born abit prettier, be abit richer.

Instead, it is all in the mind. You are who you think you are. If you think you are a failure, you are already am. If you think you are a winner, you are. If you can feel happy living with 5 dollars a day, you are. If you think that the results u get is superly fantastic, you will feel happy. Life is much more happier when you think about it happier.

Ask yourself, if you have all that you want to have now, wouldn't you start wanting to have more? Perhaps.. the meaning of life?

缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念

在没有温度的冬夜里,
没想到竟然会梦见你...

why do movies make me cry

do you understand how it is like to wake up every morning not knowing what you are living for? Is it to earn money? Is it to achieve your dream of becoming an pop star, or maybe, a scientist, or maybe, the richest guy in the world?

I know what i want. I want a house where i will spend the rest of my life with the woman i love. I want to have kids. To have daughters who look like their mother. To have sons who look like me. I want a nice backyard, where my children can chase after me; and me after our dog. I want to kiss my wife goodnight, every night.

I want a simple, happy and fulfilling life.

And on this lonely night, i wish you goodnight.

爱

爱上了你的声音,
爱上了你的面孔。

爱上了你的一切，
使我难以放手。

谁在用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破

一盏离愁孤单伫立在窗口
我在门後假装你人还没走
旧地如重游月圆更寂寞
夜半清醒的烛火不忍苛责我

一壶漂泊浪迹天涯难入喉
你走之後酒暖回忆思念瘦
水向东流时间怎黱偷
花开就一次成熟我却错过

谁在用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
岁月在墙上剥落看见小时候
犹记得那年我们都还很年幼
而如今琴声幽幽我的等候你没听过

谁再用琵琶弹奏一曲东风破
枫叶将故事染色结局我看透
篱笆外的古道我牵著你走过
荒烟漫草的年头就连分手都很沉默

finally

finally the dreaded -pc compeition is over!
can finally concentrate on my studies!

what's good is that got win some prizes which look cheap at start

imation swivel pro 2 flash drive 2gb - $95 according to sg.hardwarezone.com
s3nnh3is3r mx 9o vc - ??

haix.. i wish they gave me a ip0d nano instead.. or at least an ip0d shuffle..

as u can see i encrpyt alot words.. i scared they track me!

李圣杰 - 痴心绝对

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱得太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你作任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

this is

This is what i posted on last year july, but its so good im gonna post it again..

The Colour of Hazel

The things he did and the words he said.
Its all over because of something he read.

Now forever I lost him because I lied.
I wanted to tell the truth and I tried.

I was afraid that I was just a fling.
Now I realize I could have been something.

Maybe we weren't for each other from the start.
All I'm really good for is a broken heart.

He ended it all with barely a goodbye.
We didn't last long, but still I cry.

The only thing left of him is a sad memory.
Those deep caring eyes, I will never again see.

Maybe someday we will again be together.
I hope that then it will last forever...

by Alana Demers