im losing it.

im really losing it. im going to burst. emotions are ruling over my head.. i cant control myself anymore. im afraid im going to say something im going to regret.
im became very afraid since i knew you.

i wish life is a better journey. i cant think anymore.

the number of hypocites i see in my life is of e^(e^(e^(e^t))) where t = time.
i really cant stand this world anymore.
i really cant.

just think primary school days.

cant think anymore....

goodbye to this sh**** odjaklgjd

it's fate. no one can change it.
mine it ends this very moment.

dont you all ever feel guilty. i chose this path myself.

A Rush Of Blood To The Head

He said I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down
I'm gonna put it six feet underground
He said "I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls

Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
Do back the things it did to you in return

Ah ah ah, ah ah ah...

He said I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh and I'm gonna buy this place that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

Honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace.
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
Start as you mean to go on

He said "I'm gonna buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside my baby, watch the orange glow
Some will laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why

So I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm gonna buy this place that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Oh to the head

Honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace.
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on

So meet me by the bridge,
Oh meet me by the lane
When am I going to see
That pretty face again

Meet me on the road
Meet me where I said
Blame it all upon
A rush of blood to the head

"The Lord of the Fools: Return of the Stupid"

".. obviously an intelligent student .." - GP
"An A+ student." - Maths
".. has good knowledge of the subject." - Computing
".. very quiet in class." - Physics
".. consistent worker .. capable of producing quality work .. self-disciplined." - Chemistry

This is not the everyday movie you see! It is the convergence of the finest skills and arts.

.. crap.

Okay so I am so pro that GP tutor can even tell how smart I am (which i think im not. there are many others whom is definitely smarter than me) from the mere scribblings on my foolscap paper.

Maths tutor assume i do all my tutorials (which i never once did even one tutorial ever since i entered jc). lol. all i do is play computer games whole day and lamenting on the failure of my love life(aka my life).

And i got a crappy AACO. Stupid chemistry.. got 34 marks.. now O. Means i qualify for an Ordinary GCE level pass. what crap.

my physics got C.. which i dam bu shuang.. somemore percentile so low.. wtf la.

I gotta work hard.
Got 29/40 for my last physics test which i took YESTERDAY. lol teacher mark dam fast.
Im quite pleased with the results.. even though the data analysis question i tyco dao siao..
13/20.. where i should be getting like 5. lol.. crap works sometimes.

maths got 72.. which is 4 marks improvement.. but test is not reliable 1.. i only hope i can get near 80 for my jct... so as to get an A..

My s papers leh.. physics still coping ok.. but the new laws such as Mallu's law which is very alien to me and techniques such as phasor diagram is kinda alien too. never use b4.

maths s i am just like a spectator. the vectors is worse.. i nvr revise dont know the basics, let alone s paper stuff.

GP got 46. dam sian. my compo 26.5 which is vv high in my class le
then my compre 1 is 19 1 is 12.. lol.. thats why 46.
the 12 one my content got 4 language 8.. lol if i spend my time carefully doing a few qns i could have gotten more than 4 marks.. funny sia.

wanted to type the whole comments out but i lazy liao. scanner spoilt long ago also. so there, no full comments.

i just hope i can get at least AAAB or AABB for my jct. chem must jia you for next week's full organic chem test.

[Updated] By demand of the great Q*

"Gibson is obviously an intelligent student who can absorb ideas as well as think. He can do better by learning to focus on the question, instead of going off at a tangent. This is a skill which he has yet to acquire and which is not beyond his reach" - Mdm Lim, GP tutor

"An intelligent student with a high aptitude for math and sciences. Unassuming and keen to improve himself, he pays close attention to the tutor during lessons to ensure he has understood and clarified every bit of concept. An A+ student." - Mr Cute Wong, Maths tutor

"Gibson has good knowledge of the subject. Has the capability to do well. Needs to remain focused." - Mr Kao, Computing tutor

"Gibson is very quiet in class. He is able to work and study on his own. However, it would be good for him to ask questions at times to deepen his understanding on ths(typo) subject." -Mrs Loo, Physics tutor

"Gibson is a consistent worker who is capable of producing quality work. He is an independent learner and seldom needs assistance to clarify his doubts. He is self-disciplined and is able to strike a balance between his PDP and school work. While he is attentive during lessons, he tends to remain silent and seldom contribute his answers for further discussions. He can ask questions more often to check his understanding of his concepts."

Subj Marks Grade Percentile
GP 46 C6 29
Maths 72 A 92
Comp 83 A N/A
Physics 59 C 73
Chem 34 O 60

My comments:
GP- Lol.. i thought going off at normal is worse? check ur absolute word obviously lol

Math- u assume too much lol..

Comp- focus on?

physics- i concur..

chem- u stalk me meh.. how u know what i do in pdp.. lol.. yeah and im a consistent worker. you mean i get O, 34 marks all the time? lol

Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou, Juliet?

For this cruel fate i protest, which i have done nothing wrong, only less.
Why would star-crossed lovers be destined to part?
Why my love thou would never devise,
perhaps until the day death sets us apart?

is the end coming again?

I CANT BELIEVE IT. I AM LOSING MEMORIES OF YOU.
Is this a sign? that we are fated to leave each other.

the brochure with you inside together with the ticket.. has been THROWN AWAY.
I dont blame my mother.. but im just very very sad about it.

then there was 3 days ago my father suddenly came back with a new phone.
he said he 'upgraded my plan' (obviously upgraded my plan to buy his new 3G fone at a cheaper rate..) then i have to use this new damn sim card. and so the only wonderful memories that we share, the smses, are left behind in the old sim card, which cannot be used anymore except to view the smses..

im losing you fast.. too fast..

i need you
please come back to me..